Winter blahs have arrived early

I feel like a hurricane stuck inside of a vacuum. I'm listless, bored and antsy, but I'm tired and lethargic. I kept waking up last night. I couldn't seem to sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. I had to pee, I was too hot, I was too cold, I was uncomfortable. That seemed to set the pace for the day. Every time I tried to get something done, I got interrupted. And when it was quiet, I had to force myself to focus and get stuff done because I really, really, REALLY didn't want to work. Toss in a meeting this afternoon that sounded a little like Sesame street on crack (they like to use a lot of abbreviations in this meeting) and it rounded out my day. And just when I didn't think things could get worse, they did. A lovely mistake was discovered. Crap. Can't say for sure who made the mistake in the first place, but I should have picked up on it so I'll take responsibility for it. At least it was caught faster than the last time something like this happened. Fuck. I'm so pissed off about that. I can't believe it happened again. Crap.

And adding to the delight of the day is the fact that the air at home and in the office is so dry that my poor nose keeps bleeding almost every time I blow it. And because it's dry, I'm sneezing more (dust allergy). Fun times. My apartment is a disaster yet I have no energy what so ever to do anything about it. For dinner I resorted to opening a can of Alpha-getti because I simply had no desire what so ever to attempt to cook, despite the fact that I've got some good stuff in the fridge to make.

I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yeah, and it fucking snowed today. So much for the forecast of sun all day. Stupid weather. No snow until December! And even then I'm not a fan.

I know the feeling is temporary. I know it won't last. But right now it's just so hard to get out of bed and face the day. If my doctor wasn't such tool I might attempt to talk to him but the 2 failed attempts at having a physical back in Aug/Sept hasn't really instilled any faith in him into me.

I'm just overwhelmed and over tired and probably spending way too much time by myself.

So sleep is probably a really good plan right now. I have to be able to focus at work tomorrow. I have far too much to do that requires my un-divided attention. Yeah. We're screwed.

Good Night.

Sarah

My balcony from last winter

Let Down

Work was ok. The office was too hot (as usual) and I've been tired all day. As a result, my mood isn't the greatest. I even went for a little walk this afternoon and that didn't help improve things much.

I think I'm still playing catch up from the weekend, which is why this is going to be very short. I need to get my ass to bed. Hopefully the wind won't wake me up tonight and I can have a solid night's sleep and feel better. Tomorrow is Halloween after all! I'm dressing up at work. Relax. The costume won't be quite as revealing as the one I wore to the bar on the weekend.

Maybe that's why I'm feeling so blah too. I was so excited and so looking forward to the party for so long and now it's over and done with and I'm back to my normal, boring existence. Who knows.

I baked 2 dozen cupcakes tonight for the office Halloween party tomorrow. Still need to frost them but I think I might do that at work. Nothing super fancy this time. Not sure how well that's going to go over. We have 169 staff. A whopping 5 people volunteered to bring stuff for the party. And only 4 people said that they'd dress up and enter the costume contest - and yes, there are prizes. No one seems to give a fuck about anything really. It's kind of hard working in an environment like that. When we were a smaller office, we all knew each other and looked forward to the next party. We held potlucks almost every month just as an excuse to take a break from work for a bit and hang out. Not anymore. Can't say I'm looking forward to trying to plan our holiday event. In fact, I'm actually thinking of scrapping one of our party games for tomorrow due to the lack luster response from the staff. The funniest part is that my boss, one manager and at least 1 supervisor are the ones who are excited about the party. Usually it's the other way around.

Oh well. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. I'll do what I can to make it through the day and then I'll come home and watch my favourite Halloween movie and have a nice dinner. We don't get trick-or-treaters in my building. I did well this year...I didn't buy any Hallowe'en candy for myself. Can't eat it if it's not in the house.

Good Night!

Sarah

Funny pic I took at the Calgary Zoo one year after Halloween