Happy Hallowe'en

It's been a very long and busy day. But it was a good one.

When I woke up this morning, I looked outside and there in the darkness of the pre-dawn morning was the moon and a single star. The clouds were drifting over it, giving it a very creepy effect. It was perfect for a Hallowe'en morning. Almost like something straight out of a movie:

Not the clearest image, but you get the idea.

Work was pretty good. There was about 14 of us from the day shift who dressed up and only about 2 of us who stayed in our costume all day. The party went well and almost everyone participated in the games. Pretty much all the food disappeared so I guess that means that they enjoyed it. I ended up taking home some leftover hummus (homemade) so that was a pretty good deal for me.

This evening, I ordered Chinese Food from my favourite place and then watched my favourite Hallowe'en Movie: Hocus Pocus. It's not a scary one by any means, but it's cute and entertaining and has Bette Midler in it so you really can't go wrong.

I got a little inspired to write a poem tonight. Here's a very raw draft of it. I don't like the end of it so I'll have to re-visit it later when I'm not quite so sleepy:

"Treats and tricks, magic and mirth. The one night a year where the dead walk the earth.
Spirits we've lost, loved once now gone. Their ghosts dance in the shadows, their souls sway along.
Frights and thrills, for the young and the old. The full moon rises, what a sight to behold.
Pumpkins and witches, black cats and dead ends. But it's hard to be afraid, when you hold hands with friends.
Scary stories are told by the glow of a candle and may they be only as spooky as you can handle."

I hope everyone's Hallowe'en was a happy one.

Good Night!

Sarah

 

Let Down

Work was ok. The office was too hot (as usual) and I've been tired all day. As a result, my mood isn't the greatest. I even went for a little walk this afternoon and that didn't help improve things much.

I think I'm still playing catch up from the weekend, which is why this is going to be very short. I need to get my ass to bed. Hopefully the wind won't wake me up tonight and I can have a solid night's sleep and feel better. Tomorrow is Halloween after all! I'm dressing up at work. Relax. The costume won't be quite as revealing as the one I wore to the bar on the weekend.

Maybe that's why I'm feeling so blah too. I was so excited and so looking forward to the party for so long and now it's over and done with and I'm back to my normal, boring existence. Who knows.

I baked 2 dozen cupcakes tonight for the office Halloween party tomorrow. Still need to frost them but I think I might do that at work. Nothing super fancy this time. Not sure how well that's going to go over. We have 169 staff. A whopping 5 people volunteered to bring stuff for the party. And only 4 people said that they'd dress up and enter the costume contest - and yes, there are prizes. No one seems to give a fuck about anything really. It's kind of hard working in an environment like that. When we were a smaller office, we all knew each other and looked forward to the next party. We held potlucks almost every month just as an excuse to take a break from work for a bit and hang out. Not anymore. Can't say I'm looking forward to trying to plan our holiday event. In fact, I'm actually thinking of scrapping one of our party games for tomorrow due to the lack luster response from the staff. The funniest part is that my boss, one manager and at least 1 supervisor are the ones who are excited about the party. Usually it's the other way around.

Oh well. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. I'll do what I can to make it through the day and then I'll come home and watch my favourite Halloween movie and have a nice dinner. We don't get trick-or-treaters in my building. I did well this year...I didn't buy any Hallowe'en candy for myself. Can't eat it if it's not in the house.

Good Night!

Sarah

Funny pic I took at the Calgary Zoo one year after Halloween

Halloween Howler

Ok. So you might have noticed that I didn't blog last night. By the time I got home and scraped the make up off my face, it was 3am. I didn't think that blogging at 3am would be a very good idea. While I was sober, I was on the tired side and figured that the typos would detract from the blog. LOL.

Let me start by saying that last night was amazing. It's one of the best night's out I've had in years. Yes, I said years. We're already established that I don't get out much so this should really not be a shock to anyone. The best part was that my anxiety was pretty damn minimal and as a result, I was able to completely relax and enjoy myself.

I took my time getting ready and everything turned out well. My hair co-operated and my make up turned out surprisingly well. I pretty much just winged it. Here's the finished product:

Xtinktor and I got to the venue around 7:30pm. We waited in the car for a bit and then when the line started to get long, we left the warmth of the car and lined up. He was complaining about it being cold because he was wearing a dress. LOL. I told him to suck it up. At least he was wearing a long dress. Mine barely covered my ass! (Thank god for the spanx type short things I was wearing underneath). The rain held off so the wait wasn't too bad. I had to pee the entire time though so that wasn't nice. They let us in just a few minutes after 8 so that was awesome. Once inside, I found my friend Kim and got female confirmation that my costume was fantastic and no, I wasn't showing too much cleavage ( I didn't trust Xtinktor's opinion - LOL ). Here's the full costume:

  



 

After finding the bathroom, I got a Swedish Berry shooter for Kim and I. That went down really well. It was shortly followed by a "Porn Star" (yes, that's a drink) and that was it for the alcohol for me for the night. You see, the more I drink, the more I have to pee. Thanks to everything holding me in my outfit, going to the bathroom is roughly a 10 minute re-adjusting ordeal. I did not want to be doing that every half hour. LOL. The club was pretty cool. It was decorated really well with some pretty spooky stuff. And some of the costumes were awesome. Thanks to some connections, I got the schedule for the evening which allowed a group of us to get some very kick ass spots in front of the stage for the My Darkest Days show. See:

 

(that's not zoomed!)

 



 The concert was amazing. They played 2 sets and both of them were wicked. The band was on fire. Lots of energy, lots of joking around and best of all, lots of crowd interaction. We were standing right in front of the stairs, which the lead singer and lead guitarist both came and stood on a few times. It was so fucking cool. At one point, the lead singer actually took a walk down into the crowd. That was pretty awesome. My Darkest Days last song of the 2nd set was their hit "Porn Star Dancing". They told all the women to get up on the stage for the song. If I hadn't ran up on the stage, I was going to get trampled. LOL. It was very wicked to be on stage with them and about 100 other women. But I managed to get a pretty good spot, directly behind their lead guitarist:

 

 

 





I have to admit, being on the stage was a little scary. I was totally surrounded by people and I couldn't see much since I'm so short. When I'd been on the floor, Xtinktor was standing behind me and keeping people from pushing into me (btw, thank you so very much for that). But I hung in there and had a blast being so close to the band. It was definitely an amazing experience even if it was a tiny bit scary. Once the band managed to squeeze their way off the stage, the rest of us made our way back down to the floor. Xtinktor had rescued his jacket and my purse (thanks again!) and we made our way back to where my other friends where. For the first time all night, we managed to find a seat and rest for bit. I then wandered over to the merch table and bought a t-shirt. While watching the show, I ended up with a My Darkest Days condom, a guitar pick from their lead singer and one from their lead guitarist.
But the coolest part of the night came next. The band came out to mingle and meet the fans! I did meet all 5 of them and got my photo taken with each one too. Each and every one of them was so nice and polite. A couple of them seemed really appreciative to the fact that we'd come out to the show and thanked us for supporting the band. I thought that was really cool.  I also got to personally say "Thank You" to their lead guitarist Sal. He posts a lot on FB and usually posts very inspirational and motivating things. There have been several times when I've been having a bad day and he posts something and it makes me smile and feel better. So I got to thank him for that. He seemed flattered and gave me a big hug. That made my night. LOL. Here's the photo of Sal and I:

 





As you can see, I was pretty damn happy! I was thrilled to meet all of them in fact:

Brendan - bass player

 

Doug - drummer

 

Matt - lead singer

 

Reid - keyboard player/guitar

 



As I said before, they were all super nice (especially Brendan, Sal and Reid) and it was a lot of fun talking to them. I think Xtinktor had fun too, especially since two of them really thought he was a girl. LOL. After the show we headed to Denny's for a little bit to eat and for me, some warm tea. My throat was a little raw from screaming all night. I wonder why... :D

I've been on the sleepy side today and my hearing isn't 100% back to normal yet, but it was all well worth it. It was a night with some good friends, a kick ass band and a very confident and worry free me. And it felt amazing. It just served to remind me that I am changing and growing as a person and while that's scary sometimes, it's also wonderful. When I stop being afraid and get out and embrace life and world around me, I get to experience some truly amazing and awesome things. I won't forget this night any time soon and it will serve as inspiration for my continuing self improvement journey.

Here's one last fun thing from last night before I log off. It's a video I shot of the band rocking out and doing some shots. Enjoy!





Good Night!

Sarah

Excitement's evil twin: Anxiety

Another long day at work, doing some overtime. It was uber hot in our office today. Largely due to the fact that it got up to 26 with the humidex today. Kind of crazy but it was definitely welcome. Especially since we're in for rain all week.

I'm trying to contain my excitement and keep some anxiety at bay. My Halloween party and rock show is tomorrow night. The excitement is expected. But the anxiety? Not so much. But that happens to me a lot.

Whenever I do something new, something that's unknown or out of the norm for me, my old friend anxiety shows up. It's been with me since I was in high school. It's been unbearable and it's been manageable. Back n 2005, before I moved to Calgary, I had to go on anti-anxiety medication because my anxiety was so bad that it was keeping me up at night. Not good. Thankfully it's never been that bad since.

Anxiety is different than a panic attack. Panic attacks are usually sudden and intense. Anxiety is slow and builds. It starts as a knot in my stomach and just goes from there. I get sick feeling, cold, sometimes get the shakes, then the other issues pop up. I have to pee every 15 minutes and if it's really bad, diarrhea. And if it's horrible...I throw up. Thankfully, the last one hasn't happened in years and I'm getting much better at controlling my anxiety.

Here's the really dumb part. I can do the same thing 10 times and have anxiety attacks on the 1st, 6th, 8th and 10th times. That happens to me when I travel. I've taken the train home about 100 times and yet every time I do, I still get some anxiety when I travel. Usually it's mixed with excitement and now a days, it's controllable but it still sucks. Just having that feeling with you blows. You look forward to something and get so excited about it and then the day of you just feel sick and bloated and uneasy. Kind of dampens the mood. Thankfully, once I get settled into the event, or on the train or meet the person, I calm right down and the anxiety goes away. It's just the lead up that makes me sick. And so much of it is irrational and I know it is but that doesn't stop it. I really hate it.

So I'm hoping that tomorrow, anxiety decides to bugger off and let me have fun. I don't want to stress over my costume or what the venue is going to be like or anything else like that. I just want to enjoy the fact that I get to go out. Get to spend the night with some fun people and get to see an awesome band. I just want to focus on enjoying myself and how much fun dressing up can be!

The first step in that process is going to be getting a good night's sleep. I get to sleep in tomorrow so I'm happy about that too. And I really am excited about going out tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to getting out of my comfort zone and cutting loose for a night. And having some fun too ;)

Good Night!

Sarah

My Darkest Days - the band I'll be seeing tomorrow night

Scary Shenanigans

I haven't seen my friend Stephanee in nearly 2 months. This is very rare for us. So tonight we made plans to go out and see a movie since it's cheap Tuesday. But first, I ask her to take me the "Spirit of Halloween" store so I can look for some make up for my costume. Sounds innocent enough, right? Nope.

Steph is a big 'ol scary cat (but I still love her!) and she really, REALLY hates spiders. I dislike them too but I'm ok with fake ones. Not Steph. So my job was to warn/protect her about/from the spiders in the store. I totally failed that job in less than 30 seconds. Here's how:

I walk in the door. To the left is a life size Frankenstein which moves and moans. To the right is a big furry spider about the side of a Jack Russell dog. I turn around, look at Steph and say "watch out, there's a big ass spider on the right" and I walk through the door way. Steph is right behind me, takes one step and the god damned spider jumps out at her. I swear to god. She screams a little, jumps a mile in the air and books it into the store with her hand clutched to her heart. I'm holding onto a shelf for support because I'm laughing so hard. Yes, I'm that supportive of a friend. Turns out, it's a "jumping spider" and somehow I managed to miss stepping on the sensor when I walked in but Steph didn't. Poor Steph.

Then something strange happened. A kid, maybe 9 years old (thank god Steph didn't swear when the spider pounced) comes right up to me and asks me if I'd like my fortune told. I politely said no thank you and he said ok and wandered off. Odd. Moving on.

Everywhere you look they had fake spiders on display. On the top of a rounder, they had a big, fluffy brown and grey spider (it was like a stuffed animal, only it was a spider) so I walked up to it and pet it saying "nice spider". Steph shuddered. I laughed.

Next we moved into the back room where more terror (and spiders) waited for us. This room had lots of masks in it along with life size moving characters like the villain from Scream and some other random monster and of course, a Mike Myers mask. Apparent Steph really doesn't like him either. So much so that when I had to go back into that room to get some make up, she waited in the main part of the store.

We were then looking at some decorations. I found these cool labels that you can put on bottles. One said "Zombie Juice" and I was joking about putting it on a co-worker's water bottle when the same kid from earlier comes walking up to me again. He looks at me and says "Zombie juice! So that's where that is. I've been looking for that" and then he takes the package out of my hands and runs off across the store yelling "dad! dad!". WTF??? Are you starting to see why kids terrify me?

Anyhow, I ended up getting the labels and some "Zombie Caution Tape" and a make up kit. It was now time to get back out of the store. I know what you're thinking. This should be good, right? No worries, it was.

I go out first and this time I step on the senor and the spider jumps out. So I'm standing there, holding the door open and Steph is still a good 5 feet inside the store. So I ask her what she's doing. She said that she's waiting for the spider to go back down. So I stand there, holding the door open and wait. I have a nice conversation with Frankenstein while I wait. He wasn't to talkative. Finally Steph makes a run for it. Yes, she ran out of the store, leaving the guy who'd been standing behind her killing himself laughing. I just shook me head.

We got to the movie safe and sound. It was wonderful. It was funny and very entertaining and best of all, involved no spiders. I highly recommend it and might even go and see it again when it gets to the cheap theatre.

So a big thank-you to Steph for a fun night out and for entertaining the hell out of me. Thank you for facing your fears long enough to let me shop. I really appreciate it. And I'm still going to make you go to Saunder's Farm and go on the haunted hayride with me :)

Good Night!

Sarah

Pretty spider web - but no spider!

Randomness

I just finished my french home work. He gave us 3 activities to do this time. Thankfully, they were pretty repetitive so it didn't take me long to do. Also, the answers to 2 of the 3 are in the back of the book so that helped. There were only 3 words this time that I didn't know. My buddy Xtinktor translated for me. And then laughed at me. Jerk. LOL. Seriously, in what universe do you get "Stapler" from "Agrafeuse"?? French is fucked up. I'm sooo looking forward to class tomorrow. Yes, I was being sarcastic.

What I am looking forward to is Halloween. I'm very excited at the prospect of getting to go out and party/rock the night away. In a fun costume too. I honestly don't get out much. As I said to a friend earlier tonight, "I think there might be too much of Fun Sarah stored up". She hasn't been out much lately. This might be interesting. Thankfully, my wing-woman for the night (ok, it's a dude in drag) is also the DD so I'll have someone to keep me from doing anything overly stupid.
This is kind of when I miss Calgary (shocking, I know!). There were two awesome little bars within walking distance of my apartment. One had cheap wings, good food and hockey on many tvs and the other had reasonable drink prices and good live bands. My buddy Cam and I would venture out to one of them almost on a weekly basis. I don't really have anything near here like that.

It looks like the babyboom of 2012 is continuing into 2013. I've got 3 co-workers on mat leave already, the 3rd should be popping any day now and I just found out that a 4th one at the office is expecting. In addition to that, I two sets of friends who are expecting new bundles of joy in 2013. The babies just keep on coming! I'm still terrified. But a couple of them are growing on me.

BTW, I'm so in love with Pinterest!!!!!! It's awesome. I've wasted so much time on there. LOL.

Anyhow, I need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed (or something like that) for class tomorrow morning so I'd better log off.

Good Night!

Sarah

Short and Sweet, again.

A long day at work, capped off with 3 hours of overtime. So my brain is kind of fried and I don't feel much like writing tonight.

It's nights like this that I wish that money wasn't such an important part of our lives.

I'm very much looking forward to sleeping in this weekend and spending some time getting my shit together. And maybe catching up on some missed tv episodes and my book.

Since Hallowe'en is coming up, here's a video to get everyone in the mood. It's a scene from my favourite Hallowe'en Movie "Hocus Pocus" starring Bette Midler>

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDidHzwYu3E

Good Night,

Sarah

Bus Wars

I take the bus at least twice a day. Usually it's a pretty mundane and uneventful ride. But tonight's was a little on the interesting side.

I caught the bus a little after 5pm, so right in the height of rush hour. My bus is usually on the full side to begin with but today it was running late so it was even more crowded than usual.

A woman was sitting on the outside of 2 seats. The inside seat was empty. The problem was that she had a rather large frame in a box with her, so she had it between her and the seat in front of her, which effectively blocked the seat beside her. 2 stops after mine, a woman decided that she wanted to sit in this empty, yet blocked seat. Since I had my iPod on, I didn't get the entire jest of the beginning of the conversation but I got the escalation which followed. Lady sitting  with package (Woman A) told standing lady (woman B) that she didn't think there was room because the package was in the way. Woman B told Woman A to move the package. Woman A said that she didn't want to block the aisle and hit people with it. I give a point to Woman A for that. Woman B then tell Woman A that she shouldn't have brought such a large package on the bus then, especially during rush hour. I'm going to award Woman B a point for that. It's kind of true. Plan your trips accordingly people! Woman B then tells Woman A that she paid for a seat on the bus so she's going to take it. Woman A said that she paid for a seat too. This is where Woman A loses a point because she's actually taking up 2 seats. So.... Woman B tries to shimmy past Woman A to get into the seat, which is pretty much impossible. Woman A just moves her legs a bit to the side. WTF? Are you people 3 years old or something?? Fuck.

Now's where it gets really interesting. While Woman B is trying to get passed Woman A (who isn't moving out of the way), her bag/purse swings a bit and hits Woman A on the head, which Woman A seems to take a bit of offence to. Gee, I wonder why? At this point, the two women are now seated side by side and are arguing loudly. To the point where the bus driver was looking at them (he was on the phone to control on a un-related matter - like the fact that we were very late and very crowded). Woman B must of really wanted that seat because I so wouldn't have wanted to sit next to a woman that I'd just had angry words with, had managed to piss off and had smacked in the head with my purse. The purse thing did look accidental from my view point (which was almost directly across the aisle). I get hit several times a week by the bags, purses and backpacks of people going by so I'm used to it and know that it happens.

The two women seemed to calm down. I lost track of how it ended as the bus was now so full of people that the aisle was blocked and I couldn't see them anymore. I think that Woman A got off the bus with her package or somehow moved to another seat. However, I did hear Woman B bitching to someone else about the ordeal (couldn't see her but I could hear her, even with my iPod on). So that made for a rather interesting bus ride home. For a minute there I thought there might be an actual brawl. I'm sure that would have resulted in the bus being detained while the cops were called, so I'm glad it didn't happen.

Oh! And during this whole mess, I got some awesome news via email: I scored tickets to the Hallowe'en Party that I wanted to go to!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favourite bands, My Darkest Days, is playing there. I'm so friggin' excited. Two very awesome people worked together to get me the tickets and I'm so very greateful to them for it. I'm very excited now. For a multitude of reasons which I'll explain over the coming weeks :) The news made my day.

Good Night!

Sarah

It's not a city bus, but it's a bus. And it's a funny photo too :)

Attack of the Munchkins

I had a bit of a busy day. I managed to hit up 3 different malls today! I bought my Hallowe'en costume this morning. It's a "sexy witch" outfit. I have to admit, it's a little on the short side. There's a Hallowe'en party that I want to go to (have to win to get in) and if I pull that off, I'll find some fishnet tights to wear under it. When I wear it to work, I'll put on a pair of leggings. Either way, it's a fun costume and I'm looking forward to wearing it. I love Hallowe'en :)

I picked up a new CD today. It's "Transit of Venus" by Three Days Grace. I'll listen to that one tomorrow.

While I was at mall #2 today, I met up with my friend Xtinktor for coffee. His wife and daughter were at a park nearby and after an incident with a man wandering the park naked, so opted to leave the park (after the police showed up and took the man away) and they came to hang out with us. As you know, I'm terrified of children.

So we're sitting there, chatting away, and Xtinkor's daughter (she's 4) starts telling me all about the man in the park who took his clothes off. It was all I could do not to fall over laughing. I understand that the situation wasn't funny from the mom's perspective and I'm sure if I'd been in the same situation, my first worry would be able the child. But hearing about the story second hand from a 4 year old was insanely amusing. She also made me smile when she started to dance to the music from the local shoe store.

Anyhow, after we'd finished and were walking down the mall, something grabbed my hand. I looked down and the munchkin had a hold of me. I'm quite proud of myself for not screaming "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" and jumping around like I had a spider on me or something. I was quite shocked actually. I was surprised that a kid I'd only met a half hour earlier trusted me enough to grab my hand. Most kids that I've met seem quite leery of new people. Not her. LOL. She seems to be quite the free spirit. I didn't panic. I just kept walking as she held my hand and played the "don't step on the lines between the floor tiles" game.

Truthfully, she was quite adorable. I don't know if it's my newly found exposure to babies thanks to my adorable niece and the super cute Baby D or if I really do have some deep seeded maternal instincts but whatever it is, being attacked by the munchkin wasn't so scary. It kind of felt nice.

And she was definitely better behaved than some of the kids that I ran into today. Like the little girl in the women's washroom who kept trying to crawl under the walls of the stalls. Or the 3 that were running loose at the entrance of the magazine store so no one could get in or out. When did parents stop being responsible for their offspring? I wouldn't have never got away doing stuff like that when I was a kid. Xtinktor and his wife did tell their wee one to knock it off when her dancing got a little too wild and she listened. Pretty much everywhere I looked today, there were small kids running amuck. When did this become socially acceptable?? Seriously people, if you're not responsible enough to look after your kids, DON'T HAVE ANY!!

Ok. That's the end of my rant for the day. It's been a good, fun day but now it's time to spend some quality time with my bed and my kick ass soft sheets :)

Good Night!

Sarah

My "fallen angel" costume from 2006

Nail Polish

After nearly 2 months of going without, I broke down today. I bought a bottle of nail polish. LOL. In case you're wondering, it's "Honk If You Love OPI" by, you guessed it OPI. It's a dark purple/burgundy colour. Very nice for fall.

I have a bit of an addiction to nail polish. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, so I think I'm doing ok with the nail polish. Nail polish is one of my girlie vices. I don't really have many. I like pretty/sexy underware and love it when I can find a matching bra and panty set, and I love my nail polish. Those are my girlie vices.

Speaking of girlie...I went shopping today and my buddy Xtinktor met up with me and kept me company. We did stop along the way for a coffee and got caught up. But I had to laugh. We had quite the conversation about hair and hair products. He actually had to go back to the store where I got my nail polish so that he could pick up a special hair treatment that both he and his wife uses. I got a good giggle out of that. I helped him pick out a bottle of nail polish for his wife too. I should have made him try it on!

I spent part of the day looking at Hallowe'en costumes too. I love Hallowe'en. It's partly because I love fall and getting to decorate with the beautiful colours of leaves and pumpkins but I think I like Hallowe'en more because it's a chance to be something/one else for a day. To dress up and be creative. I love that. And before wearing black nail polish became a main stream thing, I loved being able to wear black or a funky green nail polish for Hallowe'en. See? I really do have a thing for nail polish. You should see what I come up with at Christmas. LOL.

After my day of shopping, I've just been spending a quiet evening at home. I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner with a salad. Then I did a load of laundry (to wash the new sheets I bought this morning) and now I'm sitting here, blogging and watching "Date Night". It's a rather amusing little flick. Oh yeah! And I did the first coat of nail polish too. I didn't want to risk going to bed with slightly wet nails and having them smudge, so I'll do coat 2 tomorrow morning.

I'm getting a little chilly since there's a cold breeze coming in the balcony door, so I think it's time to log off and go and curl up under a blanket and watch the rest of the movie. Or read for a bit.

Good Night!

Sarah

This is a mini candy apple that I made for Hallowe'en one year. You can see my pretty nails in it!