Day 4 - Not as bad but getting bored and Happy Spring!

I'm currently fighting the urge to not attack my neighbour. She's on her balcony, having a phone conversation on speaker phone. I'm inside my apartment. Not only can I hear her, I can hear the person on the phone. What the hell is wrong with people? Do you think you're the only one who lives here? Do you not realize that all nine units on our side of the building can hear you? Geez.

Anyhow, I think today was better. This morning my co-worker and I figured out the video chat feature on the new program that work set everyone up with, so that was awesome. We go to see one and other. At lunch, a friend stopped by on her way home so that we could go for a walk. I met her outside and we went for a nice walk and chatted away. Having some actualy human interaction was great. Plus it was nice to get out in the fresh air again too.  We made sure to follow the social distancing rules, even though I would have loved to have given her a big. We only passed three other people on our walk. Everyone smiled and said hi. We also nearly got run over by two squirrels who were having quite the fight.

The only "spring" filter I could find.

With my boss being back, there were more emails to deal with this afternoon so it was good to have a productive go of it. I finished off my afternoon talking to my Aunt and Uncle who live in Thunder Bay. It was snowing there but not here, so that's a win for me! (Sorry Heather).

I had a disappointing dinner of "taste like frost burn" turkey burgers (didn't end up eating it) and just sat and watched re-runs on tv. I'm tired tonight. I haven't slept well the last couple of nights so I'm hoping I'll make up for that this evening.

I watched significantly less news today too. Maybe that helped as well. It was heartbreaking to see that Italy has surpassed China for most deaths from this virus but it was reassuring to see that no new cases were reported in Wuhan Province, China today.

While trading comments on FB with a friend, I realized what's bothering my the most about all of this. It's the uncertainty. The not knowing where the end is. Once I made the decision to get surgery to fix my knee, I was anxious. The day I got my surgery date, I calmed down. I had something to focus on. My end goal. I knew how many days I had to make it through. And that's what I focused on. It helped to ground me. I no longer have that surgery date and no one can tell us how long it's going to be until things return to the way they were. Until we can go out and be social creatures again. That's the part that's hard for me. No end point to focus on.

So, I've decided to focus on getting through each day. My nightly blog will be my "focus point". Make it through the hours until it's time to blog again and then go to bed.

Tomorrow or Saturday, I need to venture out for supplies. My bread went moldy today :(

Today is also the first day of Spring.  It's not set to arrive officially until 11:50 EDT but it's here. It's also the earliest that Spring has arrived in 124 years. So that's special. As if to understand what's going on, we have a risk of thunderstorms tonight and into tomorrow. And because it's Canada, our temperature is supposed to change 26 degrees beween the daytime high and the overnight low tomorrow. +15 to -11. Fun times. Going to be a wind one!

"In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours" - Mark Twain

Day 3 - Still Surreal

Day three is almost in the books now.

I had a conference call with my boss and our team. She's in self-isolation since she spent her holidays in the US. It was good to hear their voices. Made me feel connected again.

Before that, I took a walk at lunch. I venture down the 4-5 blocks to a Shopper's Drug Mart. I'd done a pretty decent job on stocking up (reasonably) on essential before the perverbial shit hit the fan but I managed to forget about dish soap. Shopper's had it on sale, so away I went.

I didn't pass anyone else walking. There were two people at a bus stop and another two people in the parking lot. McDonald's was hopping though but then again, it was lunch time. Inside the Shopper's, I only saw three, maybe four other people shopping. I stood well back from the man at the cash ahead of me and paid with debit before heading back home with my dish soap (sadly, they were sold out of my usual brand but I'll make do).

I didn't have any dance breaks today but I did haul my butt into a shower this morning. I didn't really want to but I kept telling myself that I'd feel better afterwards and I did. This is day two without make up for me. I'm getting used to it. Kind of like it. I did have the decency to put on a bra before I headed out at noonhour. I haven't gone completey savage yet.

Clearly having fun with photo filers. Going to try a new one each day!

My co-worker and I had a conversation about our parents today and how both sets don't seem to be taking this whole situation as seriously as they should. They don't seem to be grasping the social distancing thing nor the only go out if you absolutely have to thing. And the news says it's the youngins that aren't listening. Apparenlty the retirees aren't either. I think it might be that we live in a government town, with a large number of federal, provincial and municiple government employees. We also still have a large collection of tech companies, all of whom have decreed that all non-essential staff who can work from home should work from home. Add in the school closures and we've got a ghost town on our hands. My parents live in a city with a lot of manufacturing and factories which are still operating so a lot of people there don't have the option to work from home. Maybe their streets aren't as empty. Maybe their streets aren't as eerie. Maybe they have more peace of mind as there haven't been any confirmed cases of the virus in their town yet. And neither of them understand what it's like to be living completely on your own. If I get sick, there's no one to look after me. So yes, I'm taking this seriously.

Then this evening, I called my parents to check in and remind them about social distancing, which my dad apparently took to heart. A few minutes into the call, my brother tried calling them. Rather than wait until our call wrapped up, my father went into the other room and used his cell to call my brother. I could hear him talking to my brother while I was still chatting with my mom. What the actual fuck? My call to them was less than 20 minutes long. He couldn't wait that long? Nope. A rather hurtful end to the day for me.

Just watched a guilty pleasure (The Masked Singer!!) and read (Dragonfly in Amber - book 2 of the Outlander series) for the rest of the evening.

And that's pretty much it. I'm hoping to sleep better tonight and hoping my body will soon adjust to my new, later wake up time. So far I've been able to resisit the urge to nap before dinner. I hope I can keep it up.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." - Eleanor Roosevelt

True Patriot Love

Life is full of little ironies. Like the fact that I'm sitting here, scrolling through Pinterest in search of "healthy" meals while making my way through a small pile of Hallowe'en candy minis and am pouting because I just dropped 2 M&Ms on the floor (you only get like 10 total in a pack!). I think it's time to lay off them though as I'm beginning to feel ill. It's been a rough week and I'm PMSing to boot (explains the Hallowe'en candy, doesn't it?).

I started a new job this week. Change and I are old foes but we're reached a truce over the last few years so the transition into my new place of work wasn't as traumatic as it would have been say, 2 years ago. It was both exciting and frightening at the same time. My new work environment is drastically different than my previous one. For starters, I am now one of the "younger" employees in my office. Previously, I was somewhere in the "middle to older" range. My new office has an 80 year old. In my previous office, I knew the names (and faces) of all 191 staff members. There's something like 178 people in my new office, spread out over 4 floors. As of today, I can recall the names and faces of 10 people and two of them have the same first name so I only have to remember that name once. The bathrooms are much better though. There's actual ventilation in these ones. Not once this week have I walked into the washroom and thought to myself "OMG, what died in here". At my previous place of work, that was almost a daily occurrence. And the people in my new office don't eat lunch together. Almost everyone goes to the food court to buy lunch and then they eat at their desks. I'm a much more social creature than that. My goal for next week is to find a lunch buddy.

I did get to know some of my new co-workers a little better on Wednesday though. My building was put on lock-down until 5:30pm after a fucked-up idiot shot and killed an honour guard and shot and wounded an un-armed guard while running around part of downtown Ottawa and Parliament Hill.  It was a home-grown terror attack. In my city. And all I keep thinking is: "How dare he".

Ottawa has a population of just shy of 900,000 people. Before Wednesday's tragic turn of events, Ottawa only had 4 murders on record for the year. That's it. Take Calgary for example. They have just over 1 million people and have had 24 murders so far this year. A lot of people are under the misconception that Ottawa is a boring city. I think we get a bad wrap because we're a government town and all the cool bands forget about us and are drawn to the flashier cities like Montreal and Toronto. But we are fun. We're a perfect mix of big city and small town. Want to get in some culture? We've got museums and the National Arts Centre. Want sports? We've got NHL, CFL and 3 post-secondary schools with great athletics teams. Want something more small town? We have one of the biggest, permanent Farmer's Markets in the country not to mention dozens and dozens of small towns all within a half hour drive from the downtown core. In my mind, it's a perfect city.

Or it was, until Wednesday. I've lived here for a grand total of 13 years. Wednesday is the very first time I've ever questioned my safety here. It's the very first time I haven't felt safe in my own city. And that is a sickening feeling. When I left work that day, I walked a little faster. I paid more attention to my surroundings and more to the point, I paid a lot more attention to the people around me. The man responsible for carrying out the attack on Ottawa wasn't an immigrant. He wasn't some bitter transplant from another country. He was born here. He was raised here. He was a Canadian. And that upsets me so much more than if it had been someone from some where else. He had the opportunity to grow up in this amazing country. He got to experience what freedom and democracy are. He lived in a country that had great social services and access to things like doctors, dentists, specialists etc... without huge price tags. And yet, somehow, he got it in his head that the Canada that I know and love isn't the amazing country that the rest of us know it is. He decided that he needed to attack it. And that's the part that hurts the most. 

Yes, we're not the global "boy scouts" that we were once known as being. Over the last couple of decades, we've taken on a much more aggressive role on the world's stage than the peacekeeping role we were once known for, but I think we're still a peaceful nation at heart. We all have to stand up for ourselves and stand up for those who can't look after themselves, right? I'm not going to get into whether or not I think our troops should be over dropping missiles on militants on the other side of the world but I am going to say that despite everything that has happened this week, I have never been prouder to be a Canadian.

I was going to have lunch in our food court today, but I decided that the weather was too nice to hide indoors. I also needed the chance to walk around my city again and to be reminded that it is still a safe place to live. My office is on the opposite side of Parliament from where the attack took place, so things are calmer in my area. My walk at lunch was a peaceful one. I enjoyed seeing all the other people out and about, doing the same thing that I was doing: enjoying the nice weather and our collective freedom. 

To the two soldiers that lost their lives this week, Patrice Vincent and Nathan Cirillo - thank you both for your dedication and service to Canada. And to their families - my deepest sympathies and condolences.

It's time for our country to pick itself up, dust ourselves off and show the world that we are still the true north strong and free and that this country is full of millions and millions of people who are very proud to call ourselves Canadian. 

Good Night.

Sarah

Canadian War Memorial in August 2014

                               

You're Such A Positive Person

It's been a very rough week. And we're only half way through. I haven't been feeling so hot. Last night was really bad and I spent the day in a fog, concentrating very hard on holding it together.

Maybe it's the early cold weather that we've had. Or perhaps is the abundance of alone time I've had of late. Two weekends in a row plans went askew/off the rails and I ended up flying solo, which isn't anything new for me. It just sucks when I actually make plans and start to look forward to some human contact and conversation and then end up on my own anyhow. Or maybe it's the reminder/realization that I really am on my own here. It's just me. I am not a priority in anyone's world, except my own. Maybe one day that will change, and I think I'd really like that, but for now, it's my reality. I'm always the one asking other people to do stuff. I can't recall the last time someone approached me and invited me to do something. Unless you count my new boss. She invited me to do a 5k walk with her at 7am on Sunday. I think she was mostly kidding though as she was trying to find a way out of it. It just really sucks that people mean more to me than I mean to them. Actually, it doesn't suck. It hurts. 

Anyhow, it was a rough day. I didn't sleep well last night. I was late getting up, late getting moving. Got to work and had multiple items thrown at me right of the get go. That part actually helped. It distracted me for a bit. Let me get outside my own head for a while. It was a nice change of scenery. I did go for a walk at lunch and that felt good. The fresh air on my face helped to wake me up a bit more and just being away from the office made my soul feel better for a while. My afternoon was ok until about 3pm when I started having dizzy spells and my head felt tight, like it was in a vice. Brutal. Don't know if was a stress issue, or I'm coming down with something or low blood sugar or pressure. Who knows. All I know is that I felt like crap. All I wanted to do was go home. But some co-workers needed help and I soldiered on.

I was just getting ready to leave work when one of our officers started talking to me and asking for some information. So we got into a discussion. Said officer actually said some very complimentary things to me about my work and hopes for my future, then they said something that almost made me burst out laughing/break down crying. They said "You're such an optimistic person". I'm standing there, feeling like crap. I'm exhausted from holding it together all day, having been on the verge of tears about 6 times that day, cried myself to sleep the night before and they're standing there telling me how optimistic I am.

The Universe really loves throwing stuff like that at me. I found it funny and sad all at the same time. I guess this means I was doing a good job of not letting it show how miserable I was today. I hate feeling like this. But I've been through it enough times now to just sit back and let it get out of my system. Give myself a day to wallow and then slowly pick myself up, dust myself off and start putting one foot in front of the other again.

Tomorrow will be a new day. Hopefully the sun will be out and the black cloud hanging around me will start to sail away. So long as I have hope, I have something going for me.

Now it's time to go and hopefully have a full and restful night's sleep.

Good Night

Sarah

Told You So and Mystery Chicken

It was an interesting day today. It was one of those "hit the ground running" kind of day. Thankfully, there were no major fires in my little bubble but there was a big one burning away with the big project. And I knew there would be. I called it. Weeks ago in fact. And I had a very opportune "I told you so" moment, but, alas, I opted for the moral high ground and kept my mouth shut.

I wasn't being a neigh sayer by any means. And this wasn't me being negative. I was being quite realistic. You see, I've done 3 previous projects that were very similar to this one. And there were issues with each and every one of them. And this time around, we had 2 newbies working on it and one not so bright coordinator over in group in charge of projects like this. So I'm pretty sure it was doomed from the start. Add in the fact that my previous (and very disliked) supervisor was the one originally in charge of it for our office and it was definitely doomed. But cooler heads prevailed today. My new supervisor got on it and fired off some emails and got some balls rolling. I jumped in too and lent a hand to the IT guys.

All in all, the day ended well and we're on our way to getting everything resolved. Which is good since we have 15 new people starting at 8:30 tomorrow morning. I'm with them (along with the recent addition to my team) until roughly 10:30. Should make the morning go by pretty quickly.

Speaking of work, I got official confirmation that the evaluation board for a process I applied on, has found me to be "qualified" for the position and I have been placed in the pool. That's two pools I'm in now. I'm excited to be in both pools. It was hard work getting there, but it's a little bitter sweet. This means that 2 other organizations has deemed me qualified to be doing the work that I'm currently doing, but my current organization doesn't acknowledge that I'm doing work above level. Just a wee bit frustrating.

I stopped at the grocery store after work to get milk, bread and veggies. I got milk, bagels, ham and raspberries. Totally forgot about the veggies. LOL. The raspberries were on sale and I find that they go bad super fast so I decided to use them up tonight. I whipped up a batch of lemon-raspberry yogurt muffins. I think they turned out pretty well. I'll take a few to work to share with a couple co-workers and we'll see how well they go over.

I bet you're wondering about the mystery chicken mentioned in the title of this blog eh?

While my parents were here, we stopped at one of my mom and I's favourite stores: Giant Tiger. They had my favourite stuffed chicken breasts on sale for $1.87/pack. Couldn't pass that up. Only problem was, we weren't going back to my apartment, we were going onto their hotel. No problem says dad. There's a freezer in the mini fridge in their room. So I buy 4 boxes: 2 ham & swiss and 2 herb & garlic. We get back to the hotel and try to stuff the box in the little freezer. Won't fit. So we decide to take the chicken out of the boxes and mom stuffs them all in to a bag and then we stuff the bag into the freezer. They fit! Only problem is, there's now no way to tell which flavour is which as they all look the same. D'oh! So now I have mystery chicken. And they threw out all the boxes, which had the cooking instructions on them so I had to wing it and go by memory. It worked out well. I ended up with Ham & Swiss tonight (which is what I wanted). I think I have the same one for lunch tomorrow too. I guess I'll find out at noon hour tomorrow which flavour it is.

Got to go and get some sleep so I'm bright eyed and somewhat alert for my day tomorrow.

Good Night!

Sarah

Duck! (because I don't have a photo of a chicken)

Disappearing Doctor and a Sugarless Surprise

Since I just cleared a world in Candy Crush and I'm currently waiting for 3 friends to send me passes to the next level, I decided I'd kill some time by blogging.

It was an interesting week at work. It was very busy. And not just for me. For a lot of people. Ah, the joy of year end (the fiscal or financial year that is). The ending of this year and getting stuff done for the start of the next one kept me equally busy I'd say. Part of it was my own fault. I requested today off since I had one "use it or lose it" vacation day left and I'm not the type of person to let a perfectly good vacation day go to waste.

My day off was a long and rather interesting one. I've been having problems with my knee for several months now. I very much dislike going to the doctor so I'm a big proponent of "walk it off'". I think it stems from the time when I was 6 and I feel and severely sprained my ankle and broke 2 tiny bones in it and I limped around the house for a day and a half before my mom decided I wasn't faking it and took me to the doctor. So I've been "waking it off" for the last few months, only problem is that it's becoming increasingly more painful to do so. Sigh. Time to see the doctor. Knowing that I had today off, I decided that it would be best to go on my day off so that I didn't miss any additional work. I called the doctor's office on Tuesday and made an appointment for Friday. I asked for the earliest appointment they had. She said "10am". And I said "that's the earliest?" and she said "Yes, the doctor's usually in by then". Sigh. I took it. We had a little bit of freezing rain earlier so I wasn't sure what I was going to encounter on my way to the bus this morning. Thankfully, we didn't get much and it had warmed up already and all the snow we got overnight was starting to melt as well as any of the frozen stuff that feel earlier. I make it to the corner in time to see my bus go by on the other side of the street. Damn thing was 3 minutes early. Sigh. So I wait for the next one and arrive at the doctor's office 5 minutes late (not too bad). I go up to the receptionist, tell her who I am and that I have an appointment with my doctor at 10am and apologize for being late. She just looks at me. And then says "You have an appointment?" Me - Yes. Her - hmmm. Then - the doctor isn't here. And I can't see your appointment in the computer. It looks like it's all blocked off. Me - I called on Tuesday and made an appointment for today. I called at 10:30am. Whoever I spoke to (btw - I know it was her that I spoke to) told me the doctor would be in a 10 and gave me that appointment time. She just looks at me. Then the computer. Then me. Then she says "I don't know where the doctor is. We're expecting him today.". WTF. What kind of doctor just goes MIA?? Beauty part? This isn't the first time this has happened. I told her ask much. She just shrugged at me and gave me a helpless animal type face. Thankfully I don't fall for that kind of BS easily so I just sighed and said "Can I see the other doctor?" And she said "Of Course!" and merrily starts typing away at the computer, gives me back my health card and tells me to take a seat. My doctor is based out of a Walk in clinic so there's always another doctor there except on weekends. Thankfully, the place wasn't busy. I only had to wait about 20 minutes. The walk in doctor was an old dude with a really thick accent that I could hardly understand. He wiggled and twisted my knee all over the place (which hurt) and asked me twice if I had a drug plan (which I do have, thank goodness). He wrote me 3 prescriptions. One is a powerful anti-inflammatory that I have to take twice a day. 2nd one is for a medication to protect my tummy from the anti-inflammatory (it appears to be a drug who's main purpose is to treat ulcers and really bad heartburn). Ok then. The 3rd was the one I asked for, which was just a repeat on my regular meds. Bugger only gave me 3 months worth of that one so I have to go back to see my doctor.  Trying to be good and giving the guy one more chance, I made an appointment for a physical in May. Have to wait and see what happens there.

So after the doctor's office, I went to Curves. It was monthly weigh-in day. I've never been there that early in the day and I'd only eaten breakfast at this point so I'm sure that helped with the weigh in a little bit. Anyhow, it went very well. I'm down 3 inches. I lost a little or stayed the same for every part of my body except my biceps. They increased thanks to the muscle I've built. The best part was what the scale had to say. Down 8.5lbs in the last month. YEEHAW! That's roughly 2lbs a week. The only thing I've changed in my diet is sugar. I've removed it. And apparently that's having some very positive results. I even managed to say no to my biggest temptations yet: The crazy awesome looking and very amazing smelling Ferro Rocher cupcakes that a very awesome co-worked baked for KayD's bday. I was tempted. Boy was I ever. But I held out and the result on the scale today made me very happy about that decision. I know damn well that 1 cupcake wouldn't have an impact on the results I saw today, but it's the principle of my quest that matters. The wonderful photo that appears on tonight's blog are the delightful cupcakes. You'll understand the temptation once you see them. Honestly, they were pretty epic or so I was told by those who ate them :)

After Curves, I celebrated my weight loss by sharing a deep fried snack platter appetizer at lunch with a buddy of mine. It was good. I eventually paid for it (some indigestion this evening...prior to taking the new meds) but it was yummy. This was followed up by a tour of the Canadian History Museum (aka Museum of Civilizations). It used to be my favourite museum in Ottawa but they're currently renovating it and changing a bunch of stuff so a lot of it was closed off to the public which puts a bit of a damper on it. I'm sure it will be awesome once it's done but that's not for another few years. It was still cool to see the Canadian Hall, which is may favourite section. They have re-creations of buildings and homes, schools and churches and they have real artifacts in each area. And some very life-like mannequins that are rather creepy.

By the time we were done at the museum, the fog had really rolled in. That's what happens when warm air hits cold snow and a cold river. And it was pouring rain too. Traffic wasn't too bad and I got dropped off at the mall so that I cold get my prescriptions filled. I remembered to by lottery tickets yet forgot to buy milk. D'oh! Now I don't have milk for my morning tea/coffee. Dammit. Guess I know what I'm doing first thing tomorrow. Either that or I'll be drinking green tea.

All in all, it was a very interesting day and enjoyable for the most part. It would have been nicer if I could have walked the museum rather than limped it, but hopefully these meds help and I can get back to normal. If not, I'll be seeing my doctor (if he shows up) sooner than my planned visit in May.

I should toddle off to bed (aka curl up in bed and read for another half hour or so) as I need to get a lot of stuff done this weekend. Another busy week ahead!

Good Night!

Sarah

Amazing, right??!!

Reflecting on Life Lessons and 21 Days Without Sugar!

You know, it's funny how a 20 minute meeting can result in hours and hours and hours of work being assigned to someone. I had that happen this week. Not that it's a bad thing. A good opportunity to get my feet wet with someone new but looking at it yesterday, I had the distinct impression that I'd bitten off more than I could chew. Thankfully a good night's sleep and a fresh perspective this morning, it didn't look nearly as daunting. And it's going to make for a couple interesting weeks. Besides, I have Curves to work out my frustrations should things not go well with the plans! LOL.

I did discover something very cool online today. It's from a blog and it made me stop for a few minutes and really think about things for a few moments. It's called "30 Things to Stop Doing To Yourself" and on the blog Marc and Angel hack life. Every single one of the items is true and completely makes sense. If you like the post, please support their blog and sign up for their newsletter. I did!!

The first one is:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

OMG, I'm such a proponent of this one. And I think that I've learnt and lived this lesson. My only regret is that I didn't realize it sooner. Looking back on high school, I can think of several people that I would have just cut out and walked away from because they sucked the happiness out of me. Or just used me and never saw me for the awesome person I know that I am. Which leads me directly to points 5 and 6 in the blog:

5.Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

I think I have a pretty good sense of self now. I'm not a party girl. I'm not the type of person who goes out to bars or clubs every Friday and Saturday night. I don't go out drinking  and dancing with the girls. I'm lucky if my eyes are still open at 10pm on a Friday night. I'd rather curl up in my comfy close and read a book than get all dressed up and freeze my ass off waiting in line somewhere and then spend my night in a crowded room with a bunch of strangers. And I'm cool with that. There was a point in my life when I wished I was that girl. The bar star. But that's not who I am and I have no desire to be her either.

I don't like dwelling on the past. Been there, done that. I will occasionally recall something from my past in order to remind myself of the lesson I learnt from it, but that's all. Sadly, I've had a few people in my life who can't seem to get past the past. Which then goes back to point 1 and I don't associate with those people anymore.

I am somewhat guilty of # 15 and 16:

Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

I'm 35, live in a small, kinda crappy apartment (because I can't afford anything nicer)  am still single and have 0 prospects on the horizon. Even if I had an interest in having kids, my chances of doing so would be pretty slim to none at this point. I often day dream about owning my own house with a nice backyard where I can have a lovely garden and a couple of dogs running around. And a husband who's arms I can curl up in on our porch swing and watch fire flies come out at night. Yes, I realize that I sound like I'm 80 but it's what I want. And I don't have it. But I know other people around my same age who do have it. I've learnt to change my thinking. I can't measure my life and successes against others. They're living a different life than I am. They're on a different path than I am. I know that I'll eventually get there, I just am taking a different route.
Same with people at work. I've seen people with less experience than myself getting better jobs. I've seen people who only worked in our office for a short period of time get promoted or find a better job faster than others who have been there longer. I can't begin to compare them all. Everyone is living a different life. I'm thankful for the things that I do have and will continue to strive for the important things that I want (happens to be point 30).

I will admit to being completely guilty of point 28 on the list too (you have to read the list to find out what it is) but I come by it naturally. It runs in the family and I'm fairly certain that I inherited it from my mother, who most likely got it from her mother :) And 29 is a work in progress for me as well. I've taken to doing a bit of positive affirmation after my workout at Curves. There's a stretching routine that you're supposed to follow after your working out to help your muscles. Part of it is done sitting on the floor. During those stretches, I like to close my eyes and think nothing but positive thoughts. I remind myself how strong I am. I remind myself of my goals. I think about why I'm there and what I want to accomplish and how much I love me and I just remind myself to take it one day at a time. Taking little steps towards all my goals are better than taking none at all.

Speaking of goals, I'm at day 21 without sugar :) Just 7 more days and it will have been a full month. I did nearly have a set back this morning when I opened the office fridge at morning break and found myself staring at two half eaten cakes. I grabbed my yogurt and ran before the devil could scramble up on my shoulder.

Good Night!

Sarah

My new Bonsai Tree

Mini Milestones

My day has been a day of some mini milestones which I didn't actually realize until late this afternoon.

For starters, today marks 2 weeks without sugar. I even survived the dessert section of an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet on the weekend. I broke down and bought some sugar free Jello Mousse cups to help with the chocolate cravings. Otherwise, fruit has been satisfying my sweet cravings and I'm feeling pretty darn good.
I'm finding it rather shocking just how much sugar is in things that you don't think have sugar in them or should have sugar in them. The one that surprised me the most are the frozen dinner and the supposed "Healthy" steamer style bowls. They have insane amounts of sugar in them. Talk about buyer be ware.

This evening also marked my 50th workout at Curves. Their computer system keeps track and lets me know how many workouts I've had when I sign in. I'll admit it. I'm a little proud of myself. I've actually kept with it for 5.5 months now. It's become routine for me and I actually enjoy it. Yes. I just said that I enjoy exercise. Some days it is hard to drag my ass there, like tonight. I was really tired after work. I've been tired all week. And it was really grey and blah out. Snow was in the forecast. And I'm reading a really good book right now (Omens by Kelly Armstrong) and all I could think about was going home, curling up and reading. But I didn't. I went to Curves. I was rewarded with my favourite coach being there (She normally works mornings except for Fridays) and I got in a good work out. Beat my target again for the 6th or 7th consecutive work out and it was my 50th workout. Something seems to have clicked. Now if my knee would just cooperate.....

Work is going well. It's been pretty steady so it's keeping me out of trouble. My co-workers are still providing me with a good deal of amusement. I swear, one day I'm going to write a book about my life in that office. I got a piece of good news last week too. I wrote a test on the 10th as part of a hiring process. I got the score back on the 12th and I did a pretty good job, scoring 42 out of 50. I'll take it, especially since I was still recovering from my cold and thanks to my inconsiderate neighbours, I only had 4 hours of sleep the night before the test. Oh yeah, and they tried to blow us up during the test too! (Blasting at the building site behind the test centre). Made for a very interesting day.

Tomorrow is the first day of spring. Not that you'd know it from looking out the window. We had snow today and there's snow in the forecast again tomorrow. The City of Ottawa set a new record on Monday. It was the coldest St. Patrick's Day in Ottawa's recorded history. Lucky us. Two years ago we had a heat wave and set a record of +25. It got so hot in our office that we got sent home. I'd much prefer that to this. I'm very excited at the prospect of having Spring here soon. It means longer days and more sunlight. It also means that I survived the dark, cold days of winter and I once again triumphed over my demons. I must say, this has been one of the best winter's I've had in a very long time. My seasonal depression really stayed in check and I've had  very few down days. There were a couple weeks between January and February that I found a little rough and had no energy but they were short lived and I bounced back quickly. I honestly think that Curves had a lot to do with the improvement in my mood. They say that exercise is good for more than your physical health. Who knew that they were right? LOL.

Steph and I checked out one of the positive signs of spring 2 weekend's ago: Blowing up the ice on the Rideau River. We got there too late to see the ice being blown up as they were further up the river, but we heard and felt some of the blasts and we did get to see the very beautiful and very frozen Rideau Falls. It was rather interesting to see. I got a lot of amusement out of watching the large ice chunks from up river going over the falls and creating quite the splash at the bottom. It was almost as amusing as watching Steph sniff bread in the grocery store but that's a story for another day. So is staying out to 2:30am, betting on electronic horses at the Casino in Quebec :) LOL.

I can hear my book calling me so I should sign off, go and curl up and read a little before bed. Or a lot.

Good Night!

Sarah

Very Frozen Rideau Falls - Steph took the photo when we stopped to check them out 2 weeks ago. So cold! But so beautiful!!

Cold Power Walking and a New Lunch Date

Well I certainly got my cardio in this morning. Thanks to the design of the downtown corridor, an accident in one key spot caused major backups for all the buses.

I was first aware of a problem when it took us 5 minutes to get up a hill. And then when we reached the stop at the top of the hill, we sat there for 5 minutes, without moving away from the stop. Thankfully, I'm a well prepared Canadian girl and was dressed for the weather. I had my boots, two pairs of pants, a sweater, a hoodie, scarf, mittens and my heavy wool coat on so I was good to brave the elements.

Me and about 6 other people hopped off the bus and started the trek into downtown. Looking down the street, there was a long line of pretty red and white buses and a heavy stream of people heading into the core on foot. While making the trek, I passed my boss' boss en route to the office. We said a hurried hi as we each scurried in a different direction across the street.

Despite the fact that it was -28 with the windchill when I left the house, I was quite toasty by the time I got to the office. There was a quick stop at Starbucks involved, where they gave me the wrong drink but it was still good so I was ok. I wasn't the only one who opted to take the two feet and a heartbeat approach to getting to work today. At least it was sunny.

I must say, I'm really looking forward to the new transit tunnel under downtown being built. I think it will really improve traffic in the core.

I had a fun lunch today. Due to scheduling conflicts and over crowding, I opted to have lunch with a couple of our students rather than my usual group. I know one of the girls pretty well as she's been with us for a few years now. They were quite fun to hang with. It was neat talking about school stuff again and I assisted in the one girl trying to plan a romantic weekend away. LOL. They were a nice break in the day. They gave me advice on boys too :)

Kind of like the conversation I had with our boss' assistant over the difference between the photocopier and the printer and the fact that you cannot send a print job to our photocopier. I'm sure it was a fun conversation for anyone who happened to over hear. Our office isn't equipped with over high tech machines. We're kind of an old school place.

All in all, it was a pretty decent day. I think it's time to go and feed my Merlin addiction.

Good Night!

Sarah

Where the Hell Am I??

Ok. So where the hell have I been? I haven't blogged in over a month and I've had several people point that out to me and some even tried to demand that I start writing again. LOL. While I'm glad to see that people are actually interested in the crap I write, I needed a break. And that was for a couple of reasons.

The number one reason is: I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in my right hand and yes, I'm right handed. It was so painful I could barley hold a pen or an eating utensil. Using a can opening made my hand feel like it was on fire and typing not only hurt, but made my fingers go numb. In fact, just typing these two paragraphs has made my thumb and pointer finger go numb. Thankfully, the pain is more or less gone. The doctor gave me a note for an ergonomic assessment at work (got a new keyboard tray and wrist rest) and I'll be getting a new split keyboard. I'm also sleeping with a brace on, which really seems to be helping. If everything goes well, I won't need surgery and things will correct themselves.

The number two reason for not blogging is that I needed to think some stuff through. Birthdays do that to me.

Speaking of birthdays, I had a great one. I went home for the weekend and my family threw my great aunt an amazing 80th bday party and the included me in it. I got balloons and a horrible necklace and personalized chocolates. It was fantastic. I got to see a lot of family I haven't seen for a very long time and a very special family friend too. I felt very, very loved. I really do have an amazing family. I'm so blessed and lucky to have them. I miss them all very much, especially my parents. But this is two bdays that I've been home for that my mom has gotten out of baking a cake for me. LOL.  It was a great visit and I had some good train karma on the way back and ended up and a 4-seater all to myself. I had to laugh. While looking out the window, I saw an old guy on a riding lawn mower and he waved at the train as it went by.  I waved back.

Things returned to normal when I got back. I went out for a belated bday dinner with some co-workers. I had a giant ass glass of wine. It was a very fun night. Then the post birthday blues came to visit and sadly, they're still kind of kicking around. They're nagging me at the back of my head. I know that the vast majority of them are unfounded and I now I'm leap years ahead of where I was five years ago. But there's still some major disappointments there. Things I haven't done, goals I haven't accomplished. And I'm mad and frustrated with myself and I'm a little sad.

And the universe is playing tricks on me too. So not impressed there. Work's been really stressful too. I thought we were supposed to slow down in the summer. It sure doesn't look like that will be happening. And it just seems to me that the bigger our office gets, the less people seem to know how to do stuff themselves. Example - I called in sick today. I woke up feeling like crap. I was achy and my eyes were puffy and swollen. So I took an Advil and went back to sleep. Anyhow, I was checking my work email later in the day and I got an email from one co-worker, saying that there were window cleaners doing our windows and maybe I should send an email to the staff warning them. WTF?? They're window cleaners, not terrorists and THERE'S BEEN A NOTICE IN THE LOBBY FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!! Shit. People really don't pay attention and OMG, I have much more important things to do in a day at work than worry about shit like that.

In case you're curious, it's taken me just over 2 hours to write all of this. I have to keep taking breaks because my fingers keep going numb.

Ok. Just take a deep breath and keep going. Everything's ok. Just be patient and the Universe will bring you what you need when you need it, not when you think you need it. Just now I think I need to plant my ass on a beach in Bora-Bora for a week. But I can't afford that trip in this life time so I guess I'm just going to have to take some more Advil and head back to work and keep heading for that light at the end of the tunnel.

Good Night.

Sarah

My very awesome birthday cake.

4 Day Weekend!!

It's finally here. I didn't think it would come, but it's finally here. The coveted 4 day weekend. Now for those of you who are about to start bitching that you don't get 4 days off...Family Day back in February wasn't a day off for me so this makes us even.

The morning was pretty calm. The Easter egg hunt went well and I'm pretty sure all the eggs were found. I also ended up with a good deal of chocolate - gifts from my co-workers. That's kind of nice since the Easter Bunny usually doesn't come to my place anymore. I don't think he can hop up all those stairs.

5 of us went out for a nice lunch for Xtina's birthday (which is tomorrow). The food was good and so was the company. We pretty much just venting about work all lunch. It was very cathartic. Best part? We had lots of time to eat and we didn't have to rush to get out of there. B and I were on time for French class. In fact, we were in the lobby waiting for the elevator when our teacher came strolling in. Once again, there were only 3 of us in class. Which kind of makes for a fun class. We get more practice this way and more individual attention, which is really great. Class flew by. We all got tripped up on the last 2 exercises of the day. We had a map and the directions were read out (in French of course) and we had to say which location they instructions took you too. LOL. What a gong show that was. I kept getting my droit and gauche mixed up (right and left). It was fun though.

I got home at a decent hour and was able to drop all my stuff off at home and then head out to Walmart and the grocery store. I stocked up on a few things for the weekend and then came home and made my Tofu Udon Noodle Soup for dinner. It was really good and I have a lot left over for lunch tomorrow.

Apparently B and I missed some fun while we were in class. Somewhere between 3:15 and 3:45, the computer systems went down.  Our evening peeps were doing a bunch of manual things with the mail and such until it came back online. That really had to suck. I bet everyone was hoping to be sent home early. I can't say I blame them. An early start to a long weekend would be great.

Speaking of early starts, I think I might opt to get an early start on sleeping. I woke up at 4:30 this morning and could not get back to sleep. It was so friggin' annoying! I think I feel asleep about 15 minutes before my alarm went off. I was not a happy camper. But I get to sleep in tomorrow so that's great. I probably should spend tomorrow cleaning, since my friend Michelle arrives in 20 days :)

Good Night!

Sarah

Signs of spring!!

Common Sense Doesn't Seem So Common

For a short week, it's kind of feeling rather long. That might also be due to the fact that I've managed to get my days mixed up almost all week. I knew Monday was Monday but that was the end of that. Everything's been messed up since. LOL. Just one more day...actually, it's only a half day since I have French tomorrow afternoon. Wow. I'm kind of excited about going to French class. That's kind of messed up. What an amazing difference switching to the afternoon and actually having a good teacher can do for your outlook eh?

So, it was pot luck day at the office. We didn't have quite as many people participating as in the past but we still had a good turn out and the food was excellent, as usual. My taco pies were a hit and there wasn't anything left over so I was happy. Which reminds me, I have half a tub of sour cream in my back pack. I really need to put that into the fridge. Oops. A few of my co-workers and I have decided that we need to develop "Pot Luck Etiquette" for the next one. Things like "don't hog the pizza" (16 slices, 50 people participating in the pot luck - taking more than one piece is just plain rude!!). You know, things that should be common sense but aren't.

Just like the fact that I have to send a memo to the staff tomorrow that reads "Don't put paper towels in the toilets". Seriously??? WTF? Who does that!!!??? Who is stupid enough to do that? And why the hell do you have paper towels in the stall with you in the first place? Yes, the building supplied TP sucks, but it's still better than the sandpaper paper towels they provide. Or how about ensuring that the toilet bowl has cleared before leaving the stall? How hard is it to watch to see if everything goes down and if it doesn't (our toilets don't have the best water pressure), I dunno, try flushing again? When did common sense become so un-common? People really don't seem to have any respect for their co-workers or their work place anymore. When I'm at work, I pick up after myself. If I use the last of something, I go and get more. Just basic things that makes work easier for whoever comes along next.

Sigh. Some people. LOL.

Good Night!

Sarah

Why yes, that is an out house,.

DIE HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today was an interesting day at work. I spent most of the morning running around, almost quite literally. I had to venture over to two of our other buildings for things, which was thrilling. I did get to the see the new office of our former office mates and it was pretty cool. They have an amazing view which I'm completely jealous of. The colour scheme leaves a little something to be desired though.

My afternoon was busy with travel stuff (not my own sadly) and other paperwork that needed to get done. All went well so I'm happy about that.

This evening was fan-freakin-tastic!!!!!!!!!! I went out for dinner and a movie with 3 guys. LOL. Mandy, JD and I headed out from work and stopped at the mall food court, where wet met up with my buddy Xtinktor. We all had dinner (Mandy was very excited about Kojaks, I don't get it) and then we headed out to Kanata to my favourite movie theatre in the city where we saw "A Good Day to Die Hard" - the newest Die Hard movie. Number 5 in the series if you're counting.

It. Was. Awesome.  Lots and lots of shit got blown up and the movie starts with a pretty cool car chase. I'm pretty sure they totalled more cars in the first 15 minutes of  the movie than they have in all 4 previous Die Hard films combined. And there was a great 1-liner which was a throw back to the very first Die Hard film so that was cool. The movie was awesome simply because it was lots of fun to watch. Lots of action and lots of stuff going boom. The plot was ok, the dialogue wasn't anything special but that is not why you got and see a Die Hard film. You go to see great explosions and to see whether or not Bruce Willis' character can still walk by the end of the movie. It's a fun escape. There's no thinking involved. No sappy love stories, no crying, no deep contemplation on the universe. Just out and out pyrotechnical awesomeness.

The one thing it did make me realize is that I need to get out more! I'm going to work on that.

I need to sleep now. I have French class tomorrow afternoon and I kind of need to be alert for that, especially since I'm taking notes for 2 people now (my co-worker is still off on a course).

Good Night!

Sarah

BOOM!!!

A Song and Silence

I have a song stuck in my head. It's been in there off and on since the Grammy's last night. Thankfully, it's a pretty decent song so I can't complain too much about it. It's "I Will Wait" by Mumford and Sons:

.

Now normally, this isn't my usual type of much. But something about this song is just so captivating. And fun. Maybe I like it so much because I now that someone is out there doing that for me....just as I am for them.

Work was different today. Quite literally. We expanded into our new space and for the 6th time since I started working here, I moved desks. The new one is much bigger and more open, but it's also a lot more quiet. And I have to admit, I really, really, REALLY missed hearing and seeing my co-workers today. I'm so used to having a constant background of chatter, typing, phones ringing, people stopping to ask me questions, laughter..I'm sure I'll get used to it and my new desk will grow on me, but for today, it royally sucked.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is a better day.

Good Night

Sarah

And I'm Back...Sort Of

I haven't blogged the last couple of nights because I've been sick and am battling a sinus something or other. I was winning until this evening. My right sinus, having grown jealous of the left one causing issues all week, decided it was its turn to cause problems. Which it did on my bus ride home. And most of this evening. Pain. Then dripping. Then more pain. I haven't taken any medication for it today but I foresee some being taken before bed tonight.

I've been a trooper and made it to work every day. I thought about calling in sick today but I was actually feeling pretty good this morning. It wasn't until late afternoon that my sinuses re-grouped and attacked. Stupid sinuses.

Today is the 5th of February and I just realized that two of the 3 calendars that I have in my apartment are still on January. Oops.  I should do something about that. I think I'm hiding from the month. February is insane for me. It's a short month but there are 9 birthdays in February and only 2 of them fall on the same day. This includes the bdays of my step niece and nephew, my brother, my grandma and most importantly of all, my mom. WTF? Inane I tell ya. And so far I've only bought a gift for my niece. And I'm late sending a bday card to my great uncle. His bday was Jan 30th. I'm pretty sure there's something called "St. Valentine's Day" somewhere in that mix as well. Fun times.

Today's catch phrase at work was "Read The Email". It was used by 2 separate people to address questions from two other people in separate incidents. I love it when someone takes the time to send out an email and then no one bothers to read it (or doesn't read it all the way through) and then wastes someone else's time asking questions that have already been answered in the email.  The result is usually several co-workers silently dying of laughter while listening to the exasperated email sending trying to tell the question asker to go and read the *&^%$#@ email.

My lungs are attempting a revolt so I think it's time to go and get ready for bed and kill the revolt with a little cough syrup and sinus meds before hitting the hay.

Good Night!

Sarah

I can't wait for Spring!!

Kindness

It was a surprisingly good day at work today. I was a little on the sleepy side since I woke up at 4:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, but other than that, it was good. I got to hide out in Finance and got a lot of work done. It was a very stress free day, which felt amazing. I'm really digging the whole new less stress approach to things.

Lunch was great too. A lot of old faces are back and it was wonderful getting to catch up with them again.

I made some really good tacos for dinner tonight too. I'm trying to eat healthier and add in more "good for you" foods. So I added avocado to the tacos. I just mashed one up with some minced garlic, onion power and a little salt. It was really good. I used it as a topping on the tacos. I've turned the leftovers into a salad for lunch tomorrow.

I'm also quite proud of myself as I did up the dishes tonight. I'm notorious for leaving them until a bunch have piled up and then doing them all at once. It's times like these that I miss having a dishwasher. Anyhow, I'm trying to do the dishes every night after dinner. I make my bed every morning so why no do the dishes every night? LOL. Baby steps to getting to be a more organized.

When I was in the grocery store this evening, a man in a motorized wheelchair was having a hard time getting a plastic bag off the roll. Another man had been over beside him but was ignoring him. I drifted over and the guy asked me for help, seeing as he was trying to do it with only 1 hand,  which I gladly did. I got him a bag, helped him pick out 4 very nice apples and then tied the bag for him so the apples wouldn't roll away. My good deed was rewarded two aisles over where I was trying to get a jar of jam off the top shelf. A store employee came by and he dug around on the top shelf until he found a jar of strawberry jam for me :) We all can do with a little more kindness in our lives.

 Good Night!

Sarah

Packed and Read to Roll!

This is a late blog tonight. I really should be in bed, especially since I have to be up at 4am. But here I am, typing away. This always happens. The night before I travel, I run around trying to get so much done that I end up staying up half the night. The fact that I didn't get home from work until 7:15 didn't help matters much.

I think I'm all packed. I just have my toiletries left to pack and I'm good to go. My iPod and cell phone are both charging. I located the case for my camera. I printed off my boarding passes (you can do that for the train now) so I think I'm set.

And of course, it has started to snow. In fact, we have a snow storm warning in place. Fantastic. Thankfully, my friend Steph and her hubby are coming to get me at 5am and are driving me to the train station. This way I don't have to worry about a cab. Steph is very good at winter driving as she often works at schools in the middle of nowhere :) I'm hoping that knowing that she's coming to get me will ease my anxiety in the morning. It hasn't been too bad today (knock on wood).

Work was a blur. The party went off without a hitch and the food was really good. Everyone enjoyed it. My secret Santa gave me a new cookbook, so that's awesome. I also got a set of The Big Bang Theory bobble heads for my desk from another co-worker. They're kick ass! I thought that I'd gotten everything done at work but I remembered something while I was in the shower. D'oh. I may email a co-worker tomorrow and ask her to do it or I might just decide to leave it until I'm back. Either way, I refuse to stress over it.

I should get to bed since I have to be up in 4.5 hours. I plan on sleeping on the train :)

Just 1 more sleep!

Good Night,

Sarah

Christmas Lights and Beavertails

I feel like a bit of a rebel. I stayed out quite late this evening, especially since I have to work tomorrow. LOL. It's funny. I'm a grown woman and can come and go as I please yet I still think it's naughty or whatever to stay out late on a "work night". I know, crazy. As I was coming in my neighbour down the hall was heading out to hockey so I guess I'm not all that late.

It was a very fun evening. Myself, Xtina and 3 co-workers all headed up to Parliament Hill to see the kick off celebrations for "Christmas Lights Across Canada". They were very nice.

It started with someone doing a mini-concert on the Peace Tower Bells and then a youth choir sang (they were really good) and there were a few speeches, more singing, and then they lit the lights and some fireworks went off and the capital was all lit up.

We all managed to get candles too, so that we could be part of the "lights" on the hill. I'm pretty sure everyone of us got wax on ourselves and/or out mitts/gloves.

 

 

 

 

After the show, we did a quick tour of the back of Parliament Hill and then went to the Chateau Laurier to warm up and see the Trees of Hope. One of us attempted to turn the hotel into a wax museum but dropping not one, but two candles on the floor, each of which left a nice pile of hard wax behind. And it wasn't me. I swear.

 

Once warm, we opted to hit up the Beavertail stand since the line up on the Hill had been way too long.

So off we went. Despite it being friggin' cold, we all took off out mitts to each the wonderful creation that is the Beavertail. I had apples and cinnamon on mine and it was amazing. I haven't had a Beavertail in about 2 years so it was a real treat. Factor in that I was really hungry and cold and that made the Beavertail seem like the most delicious thing ever.

We then decided that we needed real food so we wandered over to the mall and ate at the restaurant there. It was very nice. They stuck us downstairs next to a group having an office Christmas party so we had a little bit of entertainment along the way. Atleast I think it was a Christmas party. Who knows.

All in all, it was a great evening/night spent with some very cool people. We got to participate in a some very Canadian activities, kept re-lighting each other when the damn wind kept blowing our candles out, player tourist, got a little sticky, had some good food and had quite a few laughs. That's definitely my kind of fun. Except for the cold. That wasn't very nice. LOL.

Good Night!

Sarah

Sad, Frustrating, Long, Hard Daze

This week has been a rough one and I'm very glad it's over. Today was the worst of the days.

It was a strange day. I was crazy busy but didn't seem to be able to make any headway with anything. I just kept running into road blocks any time I tried to accomplish anything. Which is crazy frustrating.

We had 4 people leave today. One's only been there for 5 weeks, 1 was kind of already gone but now has really left (was on leave but was offered another job, came back from leave early to take it) and the other two are people who've been there since I before I started. I am a little sad that I won't get to see them each day but I know that they got an awesome opportunity, so I'm very happy for them. And they're not going to be far away at all. Same building in fact :) It's more that the change is hard. That's all. So much keeps changing there, that it's nice to have some consistent things. My office is now more than 3 times bigger than it was when I started there 19 months ago. There are only 8 people left who were there before I started. It's crazy. Which makes it hard and sad.

The other side to today was the sheer immaturity and unprofessionalism of some people. We aren't an overly strict office, which is nice, so long as we all do our work. But lately there has been a core group of people who have being conducting themselves like this is high school rather than a professional office as of late. The frustrating part is that I am not their manager in any way, shape or form but the other supervisors and managers keep coming to me to complain about said group. WTF?

I didn't actually take a lunch break today. I ran out for 10 minutes to buy a sandwhich, but I only ate half and that took nearly 45 minutes to accomplish. And you know what? I don't really mind. It's not something that happens every day. I'm incredibly thankful to have a job. And a good one at that. And one that I actually enjoy doing most of the time. And I get to work with some pretty awesome people. So having to work through lunch from time to time isn't so horrible. I just wish some people would grow the fuck up and realize just how good they have it too.

I'm sure a lot of what I'm feeling right now is just be being over tired. I think I'll go and read for a bit and then head to bed. I can sleep in tomorrow for a little bit, which is nice. I need to get some Christmas shopping done too. I'm just really not in the Christmas spirit. Hell, I lost interest in watching "Frosty Returns" tonight and I shut it off. Oh. And it might snow tonight. Which sucks.

Yeah, I'm going to bed before I get even more cranky than I already am.

Good Night!

Sarah

Crazy Daze

My brother sent me an awesome video this evening. It was of my niece. She was crawling for the very first time. So awesome and so cute! I can't wait to see her at Christmas. She really is the cutiest little thing in the world. Who knew that my brother could create something so wonderful?

Long day at work today. It was one of those days when you're constantly busy and are on the go the whole day, but feel like you didn't actually accomplish anything. I'm hoping that tomorrow isn't as crazy because I have a lot of stuff that I need to get done. We've got a farewell party in the afternoon. Two of our staff are moving on to other jobs. One of them has been with us for a quite some time. The original little core group in the office is slowly shrinking. Makes me wonder if something bigger and better is waiting for me around the corner. Who knows, right?

I think they're pumping drugs into the air in the office. People have been acting crazier than usual as of late. I don't know if it's cabin fever setting in or the fact that Christmas is just over a month away but it's starting to get out of hand. Large quantities of candy was introduced into the mix today. That really can't be good. Crazy plus a sugar high is not a good combination for a combined space. Since tomorrow is Friday, I suspect that the crazy might get even worse. I think I need to find a place to hide.

Good Night!

Sarah