Nagging Thoughts and all that Jazz

Something's "off". But I don't know what it is. I wish I could put my finger on it so that I could address it, but I can't. It's like a quiet, gentle, nagging sensation in the back of my head. It's not so annoying that I'm always aware of it but it's loud enough that when I'm trying to relax, I can't fully do so. I kind of hope it's just spring fever. A need to get off the couch and get back out there into the world, into the light. I've been doing a little meditation before bed lately and that seems to help relax me and turn my thoughts off long enough to fall asleep. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something and I haven't been patient enough to sit down and try to figure out what the message is. Maybe it's the full moon (ok, it's not full until tomorrow but close enough). Maybe it's stress.

Work has been a strange atmosphere lately. One of my co-workers nailed it the other day. He said that was having a great day, happy go lucky, until he walked into the office and it's like the all the happiness got sucked out of him. I completely understand. There's almost an air of negativity hanging around lately. It's very  strange and there's no real rhyme or reason to it.  Maybe everyone's grumpy because of the weather. It was so shitty for so long. Maybe now that nicer, sunnier weather is here, everyone will be a little more sunny themselves. Maybe everyone just needs a break.

I'm very much looking forward to the long weekend. I've got 4 days off. I can spend one day cleaning, one day having fun, one day doing nothing at all and the 4th day gets to be the wild card. An "anything" can happen kind of day. I'm really excited about Saturday. I get to have brunch at my favourite restaurant and then possibly get up to some shenanigans in the market. I hope the forecast holds. It's supposed to 7 and sunny on Saturday.

Today is a very special day. It's Sloan's (my niece) first birthday. I can't believe it's been a year already. I've only got to meet her 3 times but I've enjoyed it each and every time. She really is an adorable and remarkable little thing. I see my brother in a lot of the faces she makes. Reminds me of when he was a kid.

Happy Birthday Sloan! Aunt Sarah loves you very much and I can't wait to see you again.

Good Night!

Sarah

Just like me...Daddy's little girl :)

Pushing 2000 and Positive Energy

Guess who's blog is only 3 page views away from hitting 2000??? LOL. Mine of course and that's so amazing. I can't believe that people read this or that I'm still actually writing. Truth be told, I'm loving it. I love writing. Even is I don't always right what's on my mind, I love it. Even when something totally unexpected and highly emotional ends up coming out, I love it. This is my art, my craft. I've never been able to draw, I'm too tone deaf to be able to sing, dancing it totally out of the question except for when I'm home alone...but writing. That I can do. And do pretty well if I do say so myself.

It was a long, busy, frustrating and rewarding day at work. So that make it a little on the odd side. We were having an "Ugly Tie" contest for the charity campaign. I won! That makes me the event winner two years in a row. Insane. LOL. I bought a novelty clown tie at a dollar store and that's what I won with. We raised almost $50 for the campaign too. That's the best part. And no, I didn't load my own vote envelope with money. I only put 50 cents in mine!

My shoulders are tense from stress and I'm feeling bogged down with negative energy. I think I'm going to sit with my positivity crystal and meditate a little bit before bed. Yes, you read that right. I have a positivity crystal. It's a very pretty chunk of quartz if you must know. LOL. I know how it sounds, trust me. I thought the same thing when I read about it, but it friggin' works. I don't know if it's a mind over matter thing or is a pretty rock really does have energy in it but something about it makes me feel better. I would bring it to work with me but I might be too tempted to throw it at annoying co-workers. LOL.

BTW, there's exactly 3 months until Christmas!!!

Good Night,

Sarah

Negative Nellies

I can't figure out why, but lately, where ever I look, I'm seeing negativity.

People at work. People online. The local news. Even some of my own thoughts. I have control over my own thoughts, and I've been doing what I can to correct those but what does one do to fend off the negativity oozing out of everything else?

It's a little hard to escape at work. It's not like I can just up and leave. Though I'm pretty sure everyone has fantasised about that one. Heck, some days I think about doing it every 20 minutes or so. By 9am today I was contemplating escape :)

Online, I just stop reading the things certain people are posting or stop visiting the groups where their members were overly negative. Which does kind of suck. I join the groups for a reason, because I like connecting with similar minded people. But when no one seems to be able to see the good things, it sucks the fun out of everything.

As for myself, banishing the negatives, destroying the shadows with the light, is often easier said than done. For example: I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning. It's for my annual physical. I haven't had one since January of 2009 because I haven't had a doctor since then. I was finally able to get a doctor back in May. I just now got around to making the appointment. I'm sitting here dreading it, thinking about how awful and icky it's going to be (Note - it's a male doctor. I've never had a male doctor before. I've always managed to find female doctors so I'm a little out of my comfort zone here). I should be thankful. I've gone 3 years without a regular doctor and I am currently experiencing a few health issues that I know need to be addressed. There are millions of people in the world that go their entire lives without ever receiving medical attention. Doctors simply don't exist where they live.

So why am I being so negative about it? Just because I'm uncomfortable? That hardly seems fair. I'm a mature, adult woman. "Suck It Up, Princess" comes to mind. LOL. Going to see the doctor is a good thing. If something is wrong (God forbid), getting it dealt with as soon as possible is a very good plan. And knowing that I'm in good health will bring me some very nice peace of mind. So I should push the negative thoughts aside and just focus on being happy and healthy.

The weekend is almost here. I get two days to myself with no real plans in place. Perhaps I can find something fun to do and regain some more of my positive outlook.

Good Night!

Sarah