Holy Math Hell Batman!

I like to consider myself a pretty smart cookie. In high school, I got good grades without trying too hard. When I applied myself, I got great grades. Except in two classes: Math and French.

Since I was in an advanced stream, I was told to take advanced math. I managed to pass grade 9 advanced math with 73%. Things went south in grade 10 and I got out alive with 62%. You don't have to be a math whiz to see where this is going. Grade 11 math rolls around and I ask my councillor if I can drop down to general or business math. He said no. Since I was in an advanced program, I needed to stay in advanced math. Within the first month of school, the teacher asked to speak to me and he suggested that I drop down to a lower level of math. I laughed and explained that I'd tried that already. Thank god, he decided to strike a deal with me. If I put in the effort, he'd find a way to pass me. I managed to fail both major exams that year but still managed to squeak by with a 51%. For the record, that is the lowest grade I ever received in my scholastic career.

Learning from that lesson, in grade 12 I was taking OAC 1 French (they didn't have grade 12 french, just OAC 1 and OAC 2 and for those who don't know, OAC was like grade 13. It's long gone now). After the first 6 weeks of the class, I knew I was in uber trouble so I dropped it. In hind sight, that probably wasn't the best idea but meh. I liked having that spare period.

Fast forward to today. I'm in French class this morning and what does the teacher tell us that we're doing: Math. In French.

Are you fucking kidding me? My worst 2 subjects rolled together into one. This is my idea of hell. The stuff my nightmares are made of. It was brutal. One of the worst parts being that I have to use my fingers to count by 10s to remember the number in french above 30. LOL. And we were using numbers in the millions today. Speaking of which, whoever developed the french language was a real jackass. The works in french for Thousand, Million and Billion are all almost the same fucking word! They're: Mille, Million and Milliard. COME ON!!!!!

Class wasn't entirely horrible though. My co-worker, who was equally in hell as me, managed to provide me with some awesome comic relief.  The teacher asked us to come up with 6 math questions, including the answer. We took turns reading them and another person in the class had to answer the question. My co-worker read one of hers and the other class mate gave an answer and the teacher said "correct". My co-worker looked puzzled. I looked over. The answer she had written down didn't match the verbal answer given. Hmmm. She did the math again, same answer that she had written down. That's when I noticed the problem. She had written:

80 + 5 = 90

LMAO. Oops. Blond moment apparently. But we laughed and laughed. The teacher actually had to stop and ask us if we're ok, which didn't help our laughter. Epic fail. So awesome. For the record, this is also the same co-worker who texted me tonight and said "Thank you for ur Knicks".Apparently I own a basketball team and lent them to her. Her auto correct rocks. She was trying to say "Knowledge". Priceless. Cheer up, it's almost Friday.

Good Night!

Sarah

Something's Rotten in the State of Denmark

Bonus points for you if you know what my title is from.

I'm having a very "meh" time lately. No energy, no enthusiasm, no desire to do anything, which makes work a real pain in the ass. Not sure what the cause of it is either.

There are a few things that are very likely suspects. The days are getting shorter so there's less sun. I'm super freakin' busy at work so I haven't been taking breaks or getting outside and thus I'm stressed. There's been a lot of change around me lately. I start French classes again tomorrow. I've been alone a lot lately.

Anyone one of those could cause a "meh" but maybe it's several of them all working in cahoots.

Let me return to one of those suspects: I start French classes again tomorrow. Lord help me. It's a 13 week course. I've already taken it and survived one of these courses. It was a level 3-4 (beginner) course. The teacher said that one of my co-workers and I did well and we could move up higher than the next level so I have no freaking idea where they placed us. Problem is that I don't remember anything from the last damn course (partly due to a less than stellar teacher). I have to ask myself: What is the point?

I'm only employed until March 31st 2013. There's a very good chance that I won't get renewed because I'm not bilingual (there's several of us in that boat). What pisses me off is the fact that I've been doing this job for over a year now, as a unilingual, and if my performance evaluation is any indication, I'm doing it fucking well.  So why do I suddenly have to speak French? I do not deal with the general public. All manager are bilingual (which I totally agree with as they have to be able to communicate with all staff) so I have no problem communicating with them. I dunno.

It's not that I don't want to learn French. I completely get the point of learning it and I know how valuable being bilingual would be. It's just that, well, I don't seem to be able to learn it. I haven't been this frustrated in school since Math class back in highschool. I've always been a smart cookie and learning comes easy to me...until you ask me to learn a new language. As of late, all I've managed to learn is how to insult people in Arabic (don't ask). I can memorize the French grammar rules until I'm blue in the face, but that's all it is. They're memorized. I don't understand them and nothing makes sense. I can never remember which order the words go in and the stupid verb changes between present and past tense. None of it makes sense. Oh and I could roll an "R" if my life depended upon it. And don't get me started on the fucking masculine vs feminine words. That's just bloody insane!!

And God forbid I try speaking french at work. On those rare days when I get up enough courage to try it... laughter is usually the end result. And it isn't me laughing. Yesterday I nearly brought 2 people to tears as I tied to pronounce the word "boeuf" (french for beef). When I'm not getting laughed at, they usually speak so fast that I can't catch any of it. And several of my french co-workers use slang, and then I'm totally lost.

The worst part? I love my job. It's the first job I've ever had that I honest to God like and enjoy. I love the people I work with. They're amazing. And even when I bitch about my job, I still want to get up the next morning and go back to work. I'm completely and totally letting myself down and the harder I try to prevent that from happening, the worse I do.

I really don't know what to do.

Good Night.

Sarah

Papillons - Butterflies