The Busiest and Loneliest Time Of The Year

Boy did I ever had a productive day today!

I was awake at 8am and up and moving by 8:15. I did 4 loads of laundry, most of which were dedicates and couldn't go in the dryer so there are currently damp clothes strewn all over my apartment. The up side is that my apartment smell great thanks to my fabric softener.  After all that, I grabbed my mail and headed to the post office where I patiently waited in line. The man before me was sending a money order. Just as his transaction was finishing, the store's computer system froze/crashed. The manager guy said that it would take a half hour to reboot. Nuts to that. So I headed onto stop #2: Walmart.

Before I could arrive at Walmart, I saw a bus coming that would take me to Carlingwood, and there's a postal outlet there. So off I went, on an unscheduled detour. I was able to mail my packages and did a little shopping. I was able to pick up 3 more small gifts there, ran into Xtina's parents, whom I haven't seen in quite some time, had a little chat with them and then I grabbed lunch to go and came home to eat. After watching A Flintstones Christmas and eating my lunch, it was back out the door for my next stop: Bayshore.

Being the 2nd last weekend before Christmas, the mall was predictably insane. I ran into one of my co-workers and his wife there and chatted with them for a few minutes. Then it was off to the eyeglass store to get one of my new pairs adjusting. One of the arms had been digging into my ear. Not so pleasant. But it's all good now! I then went on and did a little more shopping and got the gift for the Secret Santa gift exchange at work. After fighting my way through the crowds at Bayshore, it was off to attempt Walmart again since I got distracted the first time.

I made it to Walmart. Thankfully, it wasn't too zoo-like seeing as it was heading into the dinner hour. I was able to find most of what I was looking for and get out of there without having to spend too long standing in line.

After that, I finally headed home. I ordered in Swiss Chalet for dinner and watched Corner Gas and then got caught up on the last 2 episodes of Elementary that I had missed. Add in killing some time on Facebook and putting some clothes away in my closet and you have my evening so far. It's not thrilling, but it's relaxing and peaceful, which is just what I need.

Christmas is awesome. It's full of pretty lights and shiny things, peace, love and good cheer. Happy memories, laughter and good food. But for me, Christmas is also the loneliest time of the year.

80% of the time, I'm perfectly happy and content with being single and being on my own. But not at Christmas. Heck, Valentine's Day is a cake walk compared to this. Out shopping today, everywhere you looked it was families shopping together or couples walking hand in hand down the hall. Except for that one poor guy that I passed who was standing there all alone, surrounded by about 20 bags. You knew damn well that he was only there to "guard" them and that there was likely a gaggle of females near by purchasing more to the add to the poor guy's collection.

Yes, some of my feelings of lowliness can be attributed to the fact that my seasonal depression is at its worst now, being that the shortest day of the year is only 4 days before Christmas, but this feel isn't the same. It's not depression. It's different. It's like my soul is reaching out and saying "hey, something's missing". More like someone's missing.

My great aunt and uncle had their Christmas open house today. I miss going to that, a lot. I do miss my family and I am very excited that I get to see them in 6 more sleeps. Sometimes I wish I could call up my mom and just go out with her for lunch and shopping, like I see so many people doing. Or pop in for Sunday dinner. I guess not being able to see them very often makes the times I do see them so much more valuable and meaningful.

But getting back to the being single at Christmas thing. Everyone says to me "but you don't have the pressure of trying to find them the perfect gift." Are you kidding me? I would gladly take that pressure in exchange for having someone special in my lift right now. Someone to curl up on the couch and watch movies with on cold winter nights. Someone to share hot chocolate with. Someone to kiss under the mistletoe and to kiss at midnight when the New Year comes rushing in.  You know, someone to share the stupid, sappy, cheesey things with that most people take for granted because they just don't know what it's like not to have those things. Hell, pretty much every Christmas carol or Christmas movie illustrates to point of having a special someone at Christmas. Even Clark W Griswold had his wife at his side as be bungled his way through Christmas. And even the Grinch finds love (in the Jim Carey version that is).

Ironically, as I sit here and write about being lonely, a group of co-workers are out watching a fellow co-woker's band play - to which I was invited. I said no thanks because I wanted to be alone to night. There is a major different between being alone and being lonely. I would have liked to gone out with them but pretending to be happy right now is so exhausting that I didn't think I'd be able to last the night. Maybe if the venue had been closer to my place and I was able to leave whenever I wanted instead of waiting on someone for a ride, I might have gone but I figured it was safer this way. You can be surrounded by 50 friends and still be the loneliest person in the room or you can be in a room all alone and not feel lonely at all.

I didn't decorate my apartment this year (or last year either), mostly because I thought to myself "Why bother? No one sees it but me." Which is very true. I did put up a few small things but I didn't bother with the tree or the lights. I did do something different this year. Every Christmas card I receive, I tape to the back of my front door. This way I see the cards almost all the time and am reminded of the people out there who love me :)

I know that I am loved. And I love lots of people too. It's just that one love, that one special love that I'm missing. And this just happens to be the time of the year that it hurts the most. In a couple of weeks, I'll be fine again. I'll be caught up in the hope and renewal that the New Year brings with it. I'll be back into the swing of things at work, the days will slowly start getting longer again and my loneliness will fade. It always does.

So now, my lonely self and I are going to change into our jammies,  get a bowl of frozen yogurt, pop "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation" into the DVD player and laugh out butt off for a bit. Then it's off to bed to spend the night dreaming of the mysterious Mr. Right....he might not be here at the moment but I have unwavering faith that he's out there and when it's meant to be, he'll be here.

If you're reading this and you're lucky enough to have that special someone in your life, grab them, find some mistletoe and remind them how special they are and how lucky you both are.

Good Night!

Sarah

Christmas light mistletoe

Time Flies

Wow. What a crazy day. It was insane. It was one of those days where you try to do a million things at once but don't seem to accomplish any of them? Yeah, a day like that. I did get some paper work out of the way, so that was good. I didn't have lunch at all, unless you count the 4 cookies (they were small!) that I bought at the bake sale lunch. The sale went well, so I'm happy about that.

I was crazy tired by the time I left work. So I picked up some Sushi and Tom Yum Soup and headed for home. It was sooo good. Since then, I've just be kicking back, relaxing and finishing up my Christmas cards. I'm hoping to get everything in the mail tomorrow.

I can't believe how fast things are going. Christmas is coming so quickly and there seem like so many things to do. I just have to hang in there until 5:55am on Friday. At that point, I'll be on the train, heading home to see my family and I'll get to relax for a few days. The idea is pure bliss.

Watching the news tonight was so sad I nearly had to shut it off.  I could drive myself mad trying to figure out the hows and whys of such a tragedy. And so close to Christmas too.

Anyhow, I should turn in. I have a bit of a busy weekend ahead of me, though I'm hoping to work in some relaxation time on Sunday :)

Good Night!

Sarah

Death and Cookies

It's been a bit of a strange day. Work was busy one minute and then slow the next. LOL. Very crazy.

I know that my imagination is running away with me but I keep looking at the floor in my living room. I found out from one of my neighbours, that the little old lady who lives below me, died in her sleep last night. Her children check in on her every day and I guess her son found her this morning.  He freaked out a bit so the lady across the hall called 911 and stayed with him and tried to calm him down and such. Fire, Police and Ambulance all showed up. I missed quite the commotion this morning.
I didn't really know that last. I think I saw her a grand total of twice. She hardly ever left her apartment because she couldn't handle the stairs but her kids were here to see her every day. Losing a loved one is hard. Losing someone at this time of year just seems so much worse. I really feel bad for the son who found her and to all of her family. And I have to admit, I'm a little wigged out.

On a more positive note, my apartment smells amazing. I baked a double batch of Toblerone Shortbread this evening. Some are for the bake sale tomorrow, some are for an afternoon party and some are for gifting. I'm also rather sick of cookies now. I might bake some when I go home but I know that my mom really loves the Reese Peanut butter Squares so maybe I'll make those instead. I'm hoping that the bake sale tomorrow is success.  I still need to dust icing sigar on the batch of the shortbread and then put them into their pretty little bags.

My baby brother has to write a test tomorrow morning. He's been studying a lot and I know that it's going to pay off. I'll still keep my fingers crossed for him though :)

I think I might start packing this weekend as next week looks like it's going to be a little crazy. Good plan.

I'm off to play with cookies :)

Good Night!

Sarah

That is one massive cookie...

Bus Rant #2 and Cherry Bombs

Today was a pretty good day. Not only did I have my new glasses on today (which everyone loved), but I didn't have french class!!! LOL. It was a busy day but it flew by. My new glasses are working out well. I wasn't nearly as tired by the end of the day and here I am, late in the evening and my eyes are still mostly open. LOL.

My morning did get off to a rough start, thanks to the bus. I did miss my first bus but was out in time for the next one. And it didn't show. So I waited in the cold. And waited. My bus was so late that it and the next one showed up. Bus # 2 passed bus #1 and kept going. No big deal since bus #1 was at the previous stop. But I soon figured out why bus #1 was so late. It was like "Driving Miss Daisy, the bus edition". Oh my god. I can't believe how slow he was going. When we were on the parkway, the driver kept hitting the breaks everytime we came to a bend in the road. And since it's a very curvy road, that was quite often. It was painful. And the weather was fine, the roads were clear. So that wasn't the issue. Very annoying.

We have a bake sale at work on Friday so I baked one set of cookies tonight. I made the "Cherry Bomb Cookies" that are in Joanne Fluke's book, Sugar Cookie Murder. They're amazing. You get cocktail cherries (they still have the stems on) and wrap the dough around the cherry and bake them like that. Then you dip them in icing sugar. So yummy. Only problem is that while I was dipping them, I was also trying to text. The result is me getting icing sugar all over my phone. LOL. It smells nice now :)

Speaking of cookies, I need to go and finish dipping batch #2 and then get to bed. I'll be baking more cookies tomorrow night but they're much less labour intensive than these ones. There's not assembly required. Just some chocolate chopping.

Good Night!

Sarah

 More lights from last night's adventure

Christmas Lights Shenanigans

The work day flew by and it's about to get very busy 'round the office as the re-newals and re-hires for January begin. Which is good. Being busy makes the day go by faster.

I'm very happy because I got to pick up my new glasses tonight. YAY! Both pairs are great but the one pair is just awesome. They look great on me and I'm thrilled. The fact that I can see better is awesome too. Like right now. This means my eyes won't be so tired which hopefully will mean that I won't be as tired either.

So I had a fun evening tonight. It started with Stephanee asking me yesterday "Do you want to drive around and see some Christmas lights". I decided that sounded good so off we went this evening. Before she left to pick me up, Steph said "I'm just printing off the maps". Awesome. She gets here and as we're heading out to grab my glasses, she says "I printed off the maps, highlighted the maps...and then forgot the maps at home". LOL.

You know what that means. That's right. It's the "Steph and Sarah drive quasi aimlessly through suburbia" show!!!!!

First stop: Taffy Lane in Orleans. Since this street is almost bright enough to see from space, it shouldn't have been too hard to find. Not quite. There is quite the lack of street signs in Orleans. We ended up pulling into a parking lot and reading the map. Turns out, we were about 8 blocks from our destination. Awesome. Away we went. The street was awesome! Steph got the bright idea to get out and walk along the street, which made taking photos better but it's also -11 out, without the windchill. We did half the street before giving up and returning to the warmth of the car. Ahhhh. We drove the rest of the street and one of the other little side streets and then it was off to our next destination.

Here's some of the lights from Taffy Lane:

Barrhaven, in the opposite end of the city from Orleans. Our landmarks this time? One location is "Off Woodroff, then off Tierry". Found this one by accident. After driving around and aimlessly for a bit, we're driving a long a crescent and Steph asks "turn left or keep going". I voted for "keep going" which worked out well as street #2 was on the right around the bend. It was a cute little street. Not as well lit up as Taffy Lane, but still nice.

Ok, onto stop #3 with the directions of "There's a Tim Horton's on the corner". Seriously!??!? After going the wrong way at the Tim's and driving past the same park 3 times, Steph decides to try the other side of the Tim's and we hit gold. We found the house. It's one where the lights are set to music and the home owner broadcasts the music on a low frequency so that you can hear the music through your car radio. It was pretty darn cool and well worth the risk of getting lost in Suburbian hell. LOL.

I'm pretty sure we're the only ones who can turn looking at Christmas lights into an adventure. But it sure was fun :)

Good Night!

Sarah

Very Random Ramblings

I survived the ice today and managed to get to the bus stop and then from the bus to the office all while remaining vertical. That's a very good thing. Coming home was much easier since everything had melted. I had to dodge some really big puddles though. I'm slightly dreading tomorrow though as all that water is going to freeze overnight. Sigh. I guess there's no escaping it unless I win the lottery and can afford to winter in a warmer climate.

I witnessed one of my biggest bus pet peeves this morning: Some jackass taking up more space than he should. He took up 2 of the 4 seats in a 4 seat bench. He was sitting there, leaning back, legs spread so wide that they covered both seats, his bag and coat were on the seat beside him and he had his arms spread out, holding the pole on either side of the 2 seats. WTF? There's no need for that, especially during the morning rush hour. Some people are really very inconsiderate. Sometimes, I'll put my purse or bag on the set beside me, but as the bus fills up, I move them so someone else can sit down. It's not rocket science people.

Seeing as the Christmas season is upon us, here's something new to kill some time with: The Reindeer Cam! Yes, I'm serious. The best part? You can watch Santa feed the reindeer 3 times a day. I have to admit, watching the Polar Bear cam is actually more entertaining. Anyhow, if you want to check it out, here's the link:  http://reindeercam.com/

I'm packing it in early tonight. I've got a busy day ahead of me tomorrow.

Good Night!

Sarah

Winter Weather Woes

I'm sitting here, watching Home Alone and I'm hiding behind my hands like I'm watching a horror movie. It was the tarantula scene - the one where Kevin grabs it off the stairs and throws it at the bad guy. *Shudder* I fucking hate spiders and that was one big ass spider.

Despite the fact that I've watched 4 Christmas movies in the last 24 hours, I'm still not feeling the spirit. I put out the cards that I've received so far this year, finally got around to putting my wreath on the door and I hung up my snowman "Welcome" sign, but that's about it. Nothing overly Christmasy at my place.

I spent the day cleaning and killing way too much time on Farmville 2 and Pinterest. LOL. I did managed to get the dishes done, my laundry folded and put away and got most of the living room clean, including clearing all the clutter off my coffee table so I can once again see it. I also got more Christmas cards written. But now I'm out of stamps.

I really should have got more done, but my stomach wasn't a very happy camper this morning. I think I drank too much coffee or the coffee was too strong or maybe I'm fighting off something but my tummy has been hurting and making odd sounds all day. It's one of those "I'm really glad I live alone" days. I sure hope that it doesn't keep me up tonight and I hope it's feeling better in the morning. The weather is supposed to be supremely crappy tomorrow so having to skate to work with a stomach ache doesn't sound like fun.

Ok. My upstairs neighbour just moved something so big/heavy that I swore he was coming through the ceiling and the entire building shook. What the fuck? It's almost 10pm on Sunday. Who does that? Inconsiderate damn neighbours. I really need to find a better building.

Back to the weather. According to Environment Canada, "A more prolonged period of freezing rain extending well into Monday is then possible, especially for regions near the Ottawa Valley." Well dammit. This is after the 5-10cms of snow that is supposed to fall overnight. Snow I can handle. Rain I can handle. But I can not deal with freezing rain. Ice and I do not get along well at all. I am so not looking forward to tomorrow.

Good Night!

Sarah