The number one reason is: I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in my right hand and yes, I'm right handed. It was so painful I could barley hold a pen or an eating utensil. Using a can opening made my hand feel like it was on fire and typing not only hurt, but made my fingers go numb. In fact, just typing these two paragraphs has made my thumb and pointer finger go numb. Thankfully, the pain is more or less gone. The doctor gave me a note for an ergonomic assessment at work (got a new keyboard tray and wrist rest) and I'll be getting a new split keyboard. I'm also sleeping with a brace on, which really seems to be helping. If everything goes well, I won't need surgery and things will correct themselves.
The number two reason for not blogging is that I needed to think some stuff through. Birthdays do that to me.
Speaking of birthdays, I had a great one. I went home for the weekend and my family threw my great aunt an amazing 80th bday party and the included me in it. I got balloons and a horrible necklace and personalized chocolates. It was fantastic. I got to see a lot of family I haven't seen for a very long time and a very special family friend too. I felt very, very loved. I really do have an amazing family. I'm so blessed and lucky to have them. I miss them all very much, especially my parents. But this is two bdays that I've been home for that my mom has gotten out of baking a cake for me. LOL. It was a great visit and I had some good train karma on the way back and ended up and a 4-seater all to myself. I had to laugh. While looking out the window, I saw an old guy on a riding lawn mower and he waved at the train as it went by. I waved back.
Things returned to normal when I got back. I went out for a belated bday dinner with some co-workers. I had a giant ass glass of wine. It was a very fun night. Then the post birthday blues came to visit and sadly, they're still kind of kicking around. They're nagging me at the back of my head. I know that the vast majority of them are unfounded and I now I'm leap years ahead of where I was five years ago. But there's still some major disappointments there. Things I haven't done, goals I haven't accomplished. And I'm mad and frustrated with myself and I'm a little sad.
And the universe is playing tricks on me too. So not impressed there. Work's been really stressful too. I thought we were supposed to slow down in the summer. It sure doesn't look like that will be happening. And it just seems to me that the bigger our office gets, the less people seem to know how to do stuff themselves. Example - I called in sick today. I woke up feeling like crap. I was achy and my eyes were puffy and swollen. So I took an Advil and went back to sleep. Anyhow, I was checking my work email later in the day and I got an email from one co-worker, saying that there were window cleaners doing our windows and maybe I should send an email to the staff warning them. WTF?? They're window cleaners, not terrorists and THERE'S BEEN A NOTICE IN THE LOBBY FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!! Shit. People really don't pay attention and OMG, I have much more important things to do in a day at work than worry about shit like that.
In case you're curious, it's taken me just over 2 hours to write all of this. I have to keep taking breaks because my fingers keep going numb.
Ok. Just take a deep breath and keep going. Everything's ok. Just be patient and the Universe will bring you what you need when you need it, not when you think you need it. Just now I think I need to plant my ass on a beach in Bora-Bora for a week. But I can't afford that trip in this life time so I guess I'm just going to have to take some more Advil and head back to work and keep heading for that light at the end of the tunnel.
Good Night.
Sarah
My very awesome birthday cake.
