Just the random reflections on my life and the world around me, being pulled out of my brain and put onto the page. Part of my ever evolving self care routine.
It's been a very long and busy day. But it was a good one.
When I woke up this morning, I looked outside and there in the darkness of the pre-dawn morning was the moon and a single star. The clouds were drifting over it, giving it a very creepy effect. It was perfect for a Hallowe'en morning. Almost like something straight out of a movie:
Not the clearest image, but you get the idea.
Work was pretty good. There was about 14 of us from the day shift who dressed up and only about 2 of us who stayed in our costume all day. The party went well and almost everyone participated in the games. Pretty much all the food disappeared so I guess that means that they enjoyed it. I ended up taking home some leftover hummus (homemade) so that was a pretty good deal for me.
This evening, I ordered Chinese Food from my favourite place and then watched my favourite Hallowe'en Movie: Hocus Pocus. It's not a scary one by any means, but it's cute and entertaining and has Bette Midler in it so you really can't go wrong.
I got a little inspired to write a poem tonight. Here's a very raw draft of it. I don't like the end of it so I'll have to re-visit it later when I'm not quite so sleepy:
"Treats and tricks, magic and mirth. The one night a year where the dead walk the earth.
Spirits we've lost, loved once now gone. Their ghosts dance in the shadows, their souls sway along.
Frights and thrills, for the young and the old. The full moon rises, what a sight to behold.
Pumpkins and witches, black cats and dead ends. But it's hard to be afraid, when you hold hands with friends.
Scary stories are told by the glow of a candle and may they be only as spooky as you can handle."
Work was ok. The office was too hot (as usual) and I've been tired all day. As a result, my mood isn't the greatest. I even went for a little walk this afternoon and that didn't help improve things much.
I think I'm still playing catch up from the weekend, which is why this is going to be very short. I need to get my ass to bed. Hopefully the wind won't wake me up tonight and I can have a solid night's sleep and feel better. Tomorrow is Halloween after all! I'm dressing up at work. Relax. The costume won't be quite as revealing as the one I wore to the bar on the weekend.
Maybe that's why I'm feeling so blah too. I was so excited and so looking forward to the party for so long and now it's over and done with and I'm back to my normal, boring existence. Who knows.
I baked 2 dozen cupcakes tonight for the office Halloween party tomorrow. Still need to frost them but I think I might do that at work. Nothing super fancy this time. Not sure how well that's going to go over. We have 169 staff. A whopping 5 people volunteered to bring stuff for the party. And only 4 people said that they'd dress up and enter the costume contest - and yes, there are prizes. No one seems to give a fuck about anything really. It's kind of hard working in an environment like that. When we were a smaller office, we all knew each other and looked forward to the next party. We held potlucks almost every month just as an excuse to take a break from work for a bit and hang out. Not anymore. Can't say I'm looking forward to trying to plan our holiday event. In fact, I'm actually thinking of scrapping one of our party games for tomorrow due to the lack luster response from the staff. The funniest part is that my boss, one manager and at least 1 supervisor are the ones who are excited about the party. Usually it's the other way around.
Oh well. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. I'll do what I can to make it through the day and then I'll come home and watch my favourite Halloween movie and have a nice dinner. We don't get trick-or-treaters in my building. I did well this year...I didn't buy any Hallowe'en candy for myself. Can't eat it if it's not in the house.
Good Night!
Sarah
Funny pic I took at the Calgary Zoo one year after Halloween
It's rather windy here at the moment. Not crazy windy, but enough that I can hear the leaves rustling outside my bedroom window. The news says that this is the result of hurricane Sandy. I say that it's the winds of change. They're blowing.
They've been blowing for a long time. They've been blowing for me. I've heard it. I've felt it. I've known that it's coming for me. And the time has come for me to stop walking away from it. To stop hiding from. To stop being hunkered down in the dark, being afraid of the winds of change, simply because it's easier to stay the course of the status quo.
But the things in life that are the most worth doing, are never the easy things.
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.” Mark Twain seemed to get it.
I love myself. I'm proud of the things I've accomplished and the woman I've become. Which is why it's time to change. I owe it to myself to do everything I can to be the happiest, most healthy self I can be.
It's time to turn and face the winds of change. To embrace the them. Feel the wind tickle my hair and whip golden leaves around me. Try to push me. Sting my face. Make thunder in my ears. Blow me into the life I'm meant to be living.
I'm ready. I'm ready to start living my life. I'm ready to face my fears. I'm ready to take the first small steps to being the person I want to be. To live the life I know I was destined for. And to make all my dreams come true. One blustery day at a time.
Good Night.
Sarah
(Not today's wind storm but a wind storm none the less!)
Ok. So you might have noticed that I didn't blog last night. By the time I got home and scraped the make up off my face, it was 3am. I didn't think that blogging at 3am would be a very good idea. While I was sober, I was on the tired side and figured that the typos would detract from the blog. LOL.
Let me start by saying that last night was amazing. It's one of the best night's out I've had in years. Yes, I said years. We're already established that I don't get out much so this should really not be a shock to anyone. The best part was that my anxiety was pretty damn minimal and as a result, I was able to completely relax and enjoy myself.
I took my time getting ready and everything turned out well. My hair co-operated and my make up turned out surprisingly well. I pretty much just winged it. Here's the finished product:
Xtinktor and I got to the venue around 7:30pm. We waited in the car for a bit and then when the line started to get long, we left the warmth of the car and lined up. He was complaining about it being cold because he was wearing a dress. LOL. I told him to suck it up. At least he was wearing a long dress. Mine barely covered my ass! (Thank god for the spanx type short things I was wearing underneath). The rain held off so the wait wasn't too bad. I had to pee the entire time though so that wasn't nice. They let us in just a few minutes after 8 so that was awesome. Once inside, I found my friend Kim and got female confirmation that my costume was fantastic and no, I wasn't showing too much cleavage ( I didn't trust Xtinktor's opinion - LOL ). Here's the full costume:
After finding the bathroom, I got a Swedish Berry shooter for Kim and I. That went down really well. It was shortly followed by a "Porn Star" (yes, that's a drink) and that was it for the alcohol for me for the night. You see, the more I drink, the more I have to pee. Thanks to everything holding me in my outfit, going to the bathroom is roughly a 10 minute re-adjusting ordeal. I did not want to be doing that every half hour. LOL. The club was pretty cool. It was decorated really well with some pretty spooky stuff. And some of the costumes were awesome. Thanks to some connections, I got the schedule for the evening which allowed a group of us to get some very kick ass spots in front of the stage for the My Darkest Days show. See:
(that's not zoomed!)
The concert was amazing. They played 2 sets and both of them were wicked. The band was on fire. Lots of energy, lots of joking around and best of all, lots of crowd interaction. We were standing right in front of the stairs, which the lead singer and lead guitarist both came and stood on a few times. It was so fucking cool. At one point, the lead singer actually took a walk down into the crowd. That was pretty awesome. My Darkest Days last song of the 2nd set was their hit "Porn Star Dancing". They told all the women to get up on the stage for the song. If I hadn't ran up on the stage, I was going to get trampled. LOL. It was very wicked to be on stage with them and about 100 other women. But I managed to get a pretty good spot, directly behind their lead guitarist:
I have to admit, being on the stage was a little scary. I was totally surrounded by people and I couldn't see much since I'm so short. When I'd been on the floor, Xtinktor was standing behind me and keeping people from pushing into me (btw, thank you so very much for that). But I hung in there and had a blast being so close to the band. It was definitely an amazing experience even if it was a tiny bit scary. Once the band managed to squeeze their way off the stage, the rest of us made our way back down to the floor. Xtinktor had rescued his jacket and my purse (thanks again!) and we made our way back to where my other friends where. For the first time all night, we managed to find a seat and rest for bit. I then wandered over to the merch table and bought a t-shirt. While watching the show, I ended up with a My Darkest Days condom, a guitar pick from their lead singer and one from their lead guitarist.
But the coolest part of the night came next. The band came out to mingle and meet the fans! I did meet all 5 of them and got my photo taken with each one too. Each and every one of them was so nice and polite. A couple of them seemed really appreciative to the fact that we'd come out to the show and thanked us for supporting the band. I thought that was really cool. I also got to personally say "Thank You" to their lead guitarist Sal. He posts a lot on FB and usually posts very inspirational and motivating things. There have been several times when I've been having a bad day and he posts something and it makes me smile and feel better. So I got to thank him for that. He seemed flattered and gave me a big hug. That made my night. LOL. Here's the photo of Sal and I:
As you can see, I was pretty damn happy! I was thrilled to meet all of them in fact:
Brendan - bass player
Doug - drummer
Matt - lead singer
Reid - keyboard player/guitar
As I said before, they were all super nice (especially Brendan, Sal and Reid) and it was a lot of fun talking to them. I think Xtinktor had fun too, especially since two of them really thought he was a girl. LOL. After the show we headed to Denny's for a little bit to eat and for me, some warm tea. My throat was a little raw from screaming all night. I wonder why... :D
I've been on the sleepy side today and my hearing isn't 100% back to normal yet, but it was all well worth it. It was a night with some good friends, a kick ass band and a very confident and worry free me. And it felt amazing. It just served to remind me that I am changing and growing as a person and while that's scary sometimes, it's also wonderful. When I stop being afraid and get out and embrace life and world around me, I get to experience some truly amazing and awesome things. I won't forget this night any time soon and it will serve as inspiration for my continuing self improvement journey.
Here's one last fun thing from last night before I log off. It's a video I shot of the band rocking out and doing some shots. Enjoy!
Another long day at work, doing some overtime. It was uber hot in our office today. Largely due to the fact that it got up to 26 with the humidex today. Kind of crazy but it was definitely welcome. Especially since we're in for rain all week.
I'm trying to contain my excitement and keep some anxiety at bay. My Halloween party and rock show is tomorrow night. The excitement is expected. But the anxiety? Not so much. But that happens to me a lot.
Whenever I do something new, something that's unknown or out of the norm for me, my old friend anxiety shows up. It's been with me since I was in high school. It's been unbearable and it's been manageable. Back n 2005, before I moved to Calgary, I had to go on anti-anxiety medication because my anxiety was so bad that it was keeping me up at night. Not good. Thankfully it's never been that bad since.
Anxiety is different than a panic attack. Panic attacks are usually sudden and intense. Anxiety is slow and builds. It starts as a knot in my stomach and just goes from there. I get sick feeling, cold, sometimes get the shakes, then the other issues pop up. I have to pee every 15 minutes and if it's really bad, diarrhea. And if it's horrible...I throw up. Thankfully, the last one hasn't happened in years and I'm getting much better at controlling my anxiety.
Here's the really dumb part. I can do the same thing 10 times and have anxiety attacks on the 1st, 6th, 8th and 10th times. That happens to me when I travel. I've taken the train home about 100 times and yet every time I do, I still get some anxiety when I travel. Usually it's mixed with excitement and now a days, it's controllable but it still sucks. Just having that feeling with you blows. You look forward to something and get so excited about it and then the day of you just feel sick and bloated and uneasy. Kind of dampens the mood. Thankfully, once I get settled into the event, or on the train or meet the person, I calm right down and the anxiety goes away. It's just the lead up that makes me sick. And so much of it is irrational and I know it is but that doesn't stop it. I really hate it.
So I'm hoping that tomorrow, anxiety decides to bugger off and let me have fun. I don't want to stress over my costume or what the venue is going to be like or anything else like that. I just want to enjoy the fact that I get to go out. Get to spend the night with some fun people and get to see an awesome band. I just want to focus on enjoying myself and how much fun dressing up can be!
The first step in that process is going to be getting a good night's sleep. I get to sleep in tomorrow so I'm happy about that too. And I really am excited about going out tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to getting out of my comfort zone and cutting loose for a night. And having some fun too ;)
Good Night!
Sarah
My Darkest Days - the band I'll be seeing tomorrow night
I started this on July 30th. Tonight's blog is number 100. I have been blogging every night for nearly 3 months now. And I'm just shy of 3000 page views. To me, that's simply amazing.
The whole reason I started this was to be happy. I love to write. It's that simple. So my logic was that if I like to write, then why am I not writing? So I started and this is where I am now. It's given me a chance to get some of the thoughts out of my head, which has allowed me to relax more.
Some things I write about are serious, some light hearted. Some make me laugh and some make me cry. Just like life, which makes perfect sense since that's what I've been writing about: my life.
I guess it's true what they say. Write about what you know. And I know me, so that works. And I really can't believe how many people have read this along the way. And I'm so incredibly humbled by the support I've gotten for my little blog too.
Most of all, I'm proud of myself for doing this. And keeping it up. And for being so open about my life. I'm normally not one to share things that are bothering me. I think the best surprise the blog has brought me is just how cathartic writing has been. I kind of wish I had started it sooner.
So here I sit, on a nondescript Thursday night, writing my 100th blog. 100th. Wow.
Thanks for reading the first 100 and I hope you're as excited about reading the next 100 as I am about writing them.
WOO!!!!!!!!!
Before I get into this blog, I should put up a warning: Spoiler Alert! I'm going to reveal a little bit about a could of tv shows...
Anyhow, in my little world, it's been a very bad week for horses. Why? Because two different horses on two different shows that I watched have met two very gruesome ends.
The first was on an episode of "A Game of Thrones". A friend lent me season one on DVD and I'm currently reading the first book. In the episode, there was a jousting tournament and this one knight lost. He blamed it on his horse, which had been acting up. So after the round, were he was knocked off said horse, he walks up to the horse and chops its head off with a broad sword. Ewww. In another episode, a woman has to eat a horse's heart as part of a ceremony. That was just plain gross to watch.
And then tonight, I *finally* broke down and watched the first episode of "The Walking Dead" on Netflix and after the sheriff's car runs out of gas, he finds a horse and rides it into the city. The idiot manages to get surrounded by "walkers" (aka zombies) and gets thrown off the horse. Well then the poor horse is eaten by the zombies. They shown them munching on its intestines and everything. Double Ewwww.
I'm not sure when it became popular to target horses but both HBO and AMC seem to have taken it on. Yes, I know it's all fake and that no animal was actually harmed in the episodes. I just thought it was odd that horses seemed to be doomed in all the shows I was watching this week.
Going back to The Walking Dead for a moment. I have to admit that I'm kind of disappointed. There's all this hype around the show and people saying how awesome it is. Truthfully, I found the first episode to be rather boring. The best part of the whole thing was the last 5 minutes when the idiot manages to get himself trapped inside of a tank. I am kind of curious to see how he gets out but I'm not racing to see the next episode. I sure hope it gets better or I'm taking a pass on it.
Now here's hoping I don't dream of zombies tonight. Or dead horses.
I haven't seen my friend Stephanee in nearly 2 months. This is very rare for us. So tonight we made plans to go out and see a movie since it's cheap Tuesday. But first, I ask her to take me the "Spirit of Halloween" store so I can look for some make up for my costume. Sounds innocent enough, right? Nope.
Steph is a big 'ol scary cat (but I still love her!) and she really, REALLY hates spiders. I dislike them too but I'm ok with fake ones. Not Steph. So my job was to warn/protect her about/from the spiders in the store. I totally failed that job in less than 30 seconds. Here's how:
I walk in the door. To the left is a life size Frankenstein which moves and moans. To the right is a big furry spider about the side of a Jack Russell dog. I turn around, look at Steph and say "watch out, there's a big ass spider on the right" and I walk through the door way. Steph is right behind me, takes one step and the god damned spider jumps out at her. I swear to god. She screams a little, jumps a mile in the air and books it into the store with her hand clutched to her heart. I'm holding onto a shelf for support because I'm laughing so hard. Yes, I'm that supportive of a friend. Turns out, it's a "jumping spider" and somehow I managed to miss stepping on the sensor when I walked in but Steph didn't. Poor Steph.
Then something strange happened. A kid, maybe 9 years old (thank god Steph didn't swear when the spider pounced) comes right up to me and asks me if I'd like my fortune told. I politely said no thank you and he said ok and wandered off. Odd. Moving on.
Everywhere you look they had fake spiders on display. On the top of a rounder, they had a big, fluffy brown and grey spider (it was like a stuffed animal, only it was a spider) so I walked up to it and pet it saying "nice spider". Steph shuddered. I laughed.
Next we moved into the back room where more terror (and spiders) waited for us. This room had lots of masks in it along with life size moving characters like the villain from Scream and some other random monster and of course, a Mike Myers mask. Apparent Steph really doesn't like him either. So much so that when I had to go back into that room to get some make up, she waited in the main part of the store.
We were then looking at some decorations. I found these cool labels that you can put on bottles. One said "Zombie Juice" and I was joking about putting it on a co-worker's water bottle when the same kid from earlier comes walking up to me again. He looks at me and says "Zombie juice! So that's where that is. I've been looking for that" and then he takes the package out of my hands and runs off across the store yelling "dad! dad!". WTF??? Are you starting to see why kids terrify me?
Anyhow, I ended up getting the labels and some "Zombie Caution Tape" and a make up kit. It was now time to get back out of the store. I know what you're thinking. This should be good, right? No worries, it was.
I go out first and this time I step on the senor and the spider jumps out. So I'm standing there, holding the door open and Steph is still a good 5 feet inside the store. So I ask her what she's doing. She said that she's waiting for the spider to go back down. So I stand there, holding the door open and wait. I have a nice conversation with Frankenstein while I wait. He wasn't to talkative. Finally Steph makes a run for it. Yes, she ran out of the store, leaving the guy who'd been standing behind her killing himself laughing. I just shook me head.
We got to the movie safe and sound. It was wonderful. It was funny and very entertaining and best of all, involved no spiders. I highly recommend it and might even go and see it again when it gets to the cheap theatre.
So a big thank-you to Steph for a fun night out and for entertaining the hell out of me. Thank you for facing your fears long enough to let me shop. I really appreciate it. And I'm still going to make you go to Saunder's Farm and go on the haunted hayride with me :)
The universe is a pretty cool thing. And I'm not just talking about the stars and planets etc... I'm talking about all the other "stuff" that happens in life that can generally be attributed "the Universe".
I've been feeling a little low as of late. Mostly just due to the change in the seasons and the decrease in the sunlight. And the fact that I haven't really gone out much lately. Anyhow, the Universe sent me two nice things today.
The first was a lunch visit from a wonderful woman who I had the pleasure of working with this summer. Lucky for her, not so lucky for us, a better job came along and she had to leave but we still keep in touch. She works not too far away so she came to visit for lunch today and it was great. It was nice to get to talk to her again and see her smile and get a great big hug. She was also dropping off my tickets for the Hallowe'en party on Saturday (which I'm so excited about), but seeing her was the best part of the visit. It's been too long.
And then this evening I got a call from another good friend who I haven't heard from in a bit, calling to check up on me and see if I'm free for a movie tomorrow night. So I get to see her and hang out with her and get to see Pitch Perfect, which looks like it's a pretty funny movie. I'm excited for that too :)
So thank you universe for throwing a couple of pick me ups my way, just when I needed them the most. I don't suppose you've got a man in there for me too eh? What? There's no harm in asking. LOL.
I did something very scary tonight. I talked to one of my parentals about my debt situation. It's scary in the fact that it means that A. Have to own up to just how much trouble I'm really in and B. Opens up the possibility for them being disappointed in be for being so stupid to get in such a mess in the first place. The only defence I have is that very little of this debt is new. Most of it is from 10+ years ago and it's just been following me around. And a part of it is from 5 years ago when I ran into some problems in Calgary. Just take a look around my apartment and you'll see that I'm defiantly not using them anymore.
Unfortunately, the conversation did very little to ease my worry/anxiety. In fact, I'm pretty damn sure it made it worse judging by the rather large knot that has now taken up residence in my stomach. It's going to be a long week. I can feel it.
Moving on. I had something happen to me yesterday that I've been sitting here thinking about all day.
Have you ever smelled something or eaten something or seen something out of the corner of your eye that suddenly filled you with such a strong memory or emotion that you thought that you'd been transported to a different time/place? That happened to me yesterday.
While out shopping at the Bulk Barn, I saw that they had holiday flavoured Viva Puff cookies on sale. I hadn't had a Viva Puff in I don't know how long, so I decided to get them. For those who don't know, they're a cookie that has a cookie bottom, with a raseberry jam filled marshmellow on top and then the whole thing is covered in chocolate. There's a version where there's fudge instead of raseberry inside too. These ones have a green mint section inside too so they look like a candy cane. Anyhow, yesterday after lunch, I decided to have one. As I bit into it, I suddenly had a very vivid flashback to my childhood. I was in my Gram's kitchen, eating a Viva Puff. My grandmother loved those cookies. I'm pretty sure the only time/place I really ever at them was at her house. We used to peel the chocolate off the outside and then peel the marshmellow part off the cookie and eat the cookie and then eat the marshmellow part. It seems that my Gram was very good at deconstructing cookies. Remind me to tell you about what she and her friend Mrs. Foster did with a bag of Oreos once... Back to my story. It was such a vivid memory. I could see every detail in the kitchen and even smell what the house smelt like and I could feel the happiness wash over me. And all I had done was bite into a cookie. Of course I then got really sad and tear welled up in my eyes because I was then hit with how much I miss my Gram but for those 30 seconds in between, it was incredible.
The mind really is such an amazing thing. I can't believe that I have such stunningly real memories tucked away in there. While it does make a little sad to remember, the happiness of the memory and the smile it put on my face was well worth the sadness around the edges. One of my all time favourite memories is one that my Gram gave me. My grandparents house was at the top of a hill. Their back windows looked out over the city. When we were little, at night, my Gram would hold my brother and I up in the kitchen by the sink so that we could see out over the city and look at all the twinkling lights. "Fairy Land" she called it. Even as a teenager, I'd stand at the sink in the dark kitchen with my Gram and look out over Fairy Land. Even now as an adult, whenever I'm somewhere high up and I can see out over whatever city I'm in, I'm still smile and think to myself "Fairy Land".
Who knew that cookie could be so powerful?
And just a quite side note to a family friend who knew my grandparents very well and who is mostly likely in surgery at this very moment: Mrs. B - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope everything goes for the best and wish you a speedy recovery.
Good Night!
Sarah
My balcony in Calgary, with "Fairy Land" in the distance.
Have you ever stood outside and looked up at the moon and wondered who else was doing the same thing? Ever wondered where they are? Who they? Ever wonder if your soul mate was out there doing it? I have to admit that I do that a lot. Just stare at the moon, marvelling at its beauty and thinking about how many billions of people before us have done it.
I found something on Pinterest tonight that really spoke to me. It was just a simple quote that said " Right now someone you haven't met is out there wondering what it would be like to meet you".
I like that idea. I also like the idea of meeting said person sooner rather than later. But that's another story.
I like the moon. I think it's beautiful. I love the glow it casts on the world. I love how it looks when it's a crescent. A beacon in the dark. It kind of makes you believe in magic.
It was a long but good day today. I worked 4.5 hours of OT and then ran some errands and came home and relaxed. I bought some very wicked nail polish to go with my Halloween costume. I'm a little worried that it might be to short. And I still need some nylons or something. Oh well :)
Oh shit! My blog! That is seriously what I said about 3 minutes ago. I'd already turned out the light, pulled back the covers and had just sat down on the edge of my bed when I realized that I hadn't blogged tonight. I thought about just skipping it and going to sleep, but I'm too close to 100 posts to do that.
So here I am.
I worked OT again tonight, which is why my brain isn't functioning at its best at the moment. And I'm back into work tomorrow morning too.
A pretty funny thing happened at work tonight though.
A co-worker (I'm going to call her Gidget) was given a project by her supervisor. She was to come up with "getting to know you" questions that are going to be asked to a different member of their team each week as a sort of "bonding" exercise. A fairly cool idea. So, Gidget was googling questions. She pointed out a few to me and was complaining that some of them were very lame. At that point, one of our other co-workers (I'm going to call him Gizmo) came over to see us. We explained what was up and that some of the questions were lame. Gidget decided to read one as an example. She read: "Strength Training or Cardio?" Gizmo got a funny look on his face and said "What?" so Gidget read it again, thinking that he thought it was a super lame question too. When Gidget was done reading it the second time, Gizmo laughed and said "I thought you said "G-String or Rodeo?". We all died laughing. How do you get "G-string or Rodeo" from "Strength Training or Cardio?" I get the "O" sound in rodeo and cardio but that's about it. Clearly this is what happens when you work too many late nights in a row - you stop hearing things normally and your brain goes to odd places. And while asking if you prefer a G-String or a Rodeo is a very interesting question, I really don't think it's work appropriate. But it sure what good for an awesome laugh that lasted for hours and hours.
Tonight's posting will be my 93rd post. Wow. That's a lot. My mom told me to post an interesting blog tonight. I hate to disappoint her, but after 93 posts, I'm kind of running out of thing to say. LOL. Not to mention that I tend to save my blogging before bed. I don't like to get into overly heavy issues before bed. It tends to make my my mind whirl and then I can't sleep. Not a good scene. Or if it's an emotional blog, I end up crying, and then my nose is stuffed up and then I can't sleep because I can't breathe properly. So you see my predicament :)
I am going to go on a little rant though about something: Body Oder. You know, that horrible, skunk like smell of sweaty pits? Unless you perform back breaking manual labour in +30 heat and direct sun, or you're a pro sports player who just finished a game, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR IT, especially in an office environment. My office is very warm, all the time. It was pretty damn brutal today because it was so warm outside. We're a lot of people in a not so big space. So not smelling like a month old dirty gym sock should just be common sense.
Admittedly, I keep an extra stick of anti-perspirant in my desk drawer, in case I forget to put it on in the morning (it happens) or on the off chance that mine stops working mid-day. Why? Knocking my co-workers out with my arm pits isn't a good way to make friends or gain respect. But even without the deodorant or anti-perspirant, if you bathe on a regular basis, you shouldn't smell that bad.
The experience I had today was eye watering, gut turning, I don't think I'm ever going to get that smell out of my nose/clothes kind of bad.
I'm sure the argument can be made about conforming to social pressure blah blah blah, but smell up your own home. If you're going to be in a work environment (or on a public bus), for the love of god, bathe/shower and put on some deodorant! And for those of you who think that using half a bottle of cheap ass cologne/perfume makes you smell like some heavenly angel: YOU'RE WRONG. That's almost as bad as the BO.
Please use your perfume/cologne wisely and for the benefit of those who have to be around you, spend the $3 on deodorant.
Thank you and good night!
Sarah
You should always smell mountain fresh! (Lake Louise picutred here)
What to write about....My french class was as thrilling as always. We had 3 activities to do for homework. They took me all of 15 minutes to do. It took up 2 hours to review and correct them. WTF? That was brutal. I've been tired all day as a result.
So I really don't feel like writing tonight. Just a little too sleepy. I really should get to bed early tonight.
I'm going to leave you with a funny video I shot last winter. I hope it keeps everyone entertained for a minute or so.
I just finished my french home work. He gave us 3 activities to do this time. Thankfully, they were pretty repetitive so it didn't take me long to do. Also, the answers to 2 of the 3 are in the back of the book so that helped. There were only 3 words this time that I didn't know. My buddy Xtinktor translated for me. And then laughed at me. Jerk. LOL. Seriously, in what universe do you get "Stapler" from "Agrafeuse"?? French is fucked up. I'm sooo looking forward to class tomorrow. Yes, I was being sarcastic.
What I am looking forward to is Halloween. I'm very excited at the prospect of getting to go out and party/rock the night away. In a fun costume too. I honestly don't get out much. As I said to a friend earlier tonight, "I think there might be too much of Fun Sarah stored up". She hasn't been out much lately. This might be interesting. Thankfully, my wing-woman for the night (ok, it's a dude in drag) is also the DD so I'll have someone to keep me from doing anything overly stupid.
This is kind of when I miss Calgary (shocking, I know!). There were two awesome little bars within walking distance of my apartment. One had cheap wings, good food and hockey on many tvs and the other had reasonable drink prices and good live bands. My buddy Cam and I would venture out to one of them almost on a weekly basis. I don't really have anything near here like that.
It looks like the babyboom of 2012 is continuing into 2013. I've got 3 co-workers on mat leave already, the 3rd should be popping any day now and I just found out that a 4th one at the office is expecting. In addition to that, I two sets of friends who are expecting new bundles of joy in 2013. The babies just keep on coming! I'm still terrified. But a couple of them are growing on me.
BTW, I'm so in love with Pinterest!!!!!! It's awesome. I've wasted so much time on there. LOL.
Anyhow, I need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed (or something like that) for class tomorrow morning so I'd better log off.
I've got a problem that's dogging me. It's not a new one. It's been around for years. And it most certainly is my own damn fault. I got myself into the mess. And I'm not certain how to get back out of it.
It's like I've been treading water for years. Some times I sink under the surface but I kick my way back to the top. Sometimes the water calms down a bit and I get a break.
I have a few options to consider as a way out. There is a fairly easy way to solve it. But like everything, there'd be consequences (see yesterday's blog). But the easier road doesn't seem like the right one. My conscious doesn't like it. So that's usually a sign to steer clear. Which means it's the hard road.
I don't even know if the hard road will work. The hard road requires asking for help. And it's entirely possible that the "helper" will say no. It's well within their right to say no too.
I'm just so sick of worrying all the time. I'm tired of dreaming things but not being able to live those dreams. I'm sick of being scared to fix the problem.
Bah. It's just so frustrating. I guess I have some thinking to do. But before that, I've got some sleeping to do. Everything looks better after a good night's sleep.
We all make choices. Every day we make between several hundred and several thousand choices. Most are mundane and are things we don't even really think about, we just go on instinct or routine. Some require a little more thought. But do we ever really stop to consider the consequences that go along with those choices?
Not every decision is a life altering one. And not every decision has negative consequences attached with it. The first decision I make every day is whether or not to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. The consequence to hitting it means I run around like a mad woman trying to get out the door on time. Nothing too major there. I make that decision 5 days a week and sometimes on weekends too. There have been bigger ones. Like which university to go to. Whether or not to move to Calgary. Whether or not to get a tattoo.
There are choices that I made more than 10 years ago that I'm still dealing with...like running up my credit cards. Yeah. That consequence sure sucks but that's the price you pay for not thinking things through.
Kind of like the kids who bullied Amanda Todd and the ones who are still stupid enough to post comments on her memorial site saying that they're happy she's dead. ARE YOU FUCKING MORONS!!?? Do you have any idea of the consequences and ramifications that are coming your way? No, I'm guessing you don't. I'm choosing to believe that those kids are just plain stupid rather than being inherently evil. Yes, we have freedom of speech in this country but only to a certain point. When it crosses a line, when it becomes threatening and harassing, then you lose the right to express that particular opinion. With social media becoming more and more popular, our laws are evolving to protect people online, just like they'd protect you at school, work or out on the street. And just because you don't use your real name online, doesn't mean you're not anonymous. The RCMP is investigating all the comments and they have fun techy ways of tracking down people via their digital footprints. You might think it's cool to post a negative comment about someone. Maybe you did it to increase something so petty as your social status. But guess what? It's going to come back to bite you in the ass. One comment could change your entire life.
And my other thought here is where the fuck are the parents of these kids? Why are they not paying closer attention to their kids' online activities? We're talking about 15 year olds here. They're far from being grown ups. If I ever found out that a child of mine wrote "I'm glad you're dead" on the memorial wall of a classmate, they'd be grounded for centuries and cut off from the digital world all together. I'd ship them off to like with the old order Mennonites and then see how they feel about life. It's insane. I'm not blaming the parent's for the actions of their children. At the end of the day, the choice is still up to those kids whether or not to say those things, but some parents really need to be more involved in their kids' lives.
I was bullied in school. Most people I know were too. But it was different. It stopped when we left school and went home. I can't imagine having to deal with it online too. That means they can bully you 24-7. No escape. How horrible that must be. Which is why it has to stop. Now. Not only do we need to teach the younger generations that it's wrong, we need to teach them to not just stand idly by and watch it happen. Yes, they're scared to get involved because they might make themselves a target for the bully too. But I'd much rather have to deal with that then knowing that I saw someone else suffering and didn't do anything to stop it or help.
To Amanda Todd who took her own life at age 15, I am so sorry that you weren't able to find the help you so desperately needed. Suicide should never be the answer. I wish you could have found someone to show you that. And to anyone else out there dealing with something like this, there is help. There really is. You just have to reach out and ask for it. Please don't give up. It does get better. I know. I've lived it and survived and am a stronger and better person for it. Just keep trying and never, ever give up.
I am a child of the 80s. I was 1 year and 7 months old when 1980 was ushered in. My generation was the first to embrace computers, the internet and cell phones. I can actually remember when our high school went "on line". I also remember having to use dial up internet access in University. But more than that, I remember some of the best things that the 80s gave us:
- Nintendo (released in 1983 in Japan, 1985 in North America) along with Super Mario Bros and Duck Hunt (both released in 1985)
- Cabbage Patch Kids (mass produced for the first time in 1982)
- He-Man (1983) and She-Ra (1985)
- Rainbow Brite (1984) - my mom gave me the Romeo sprite when I went into the hospital to have my tonsils out on October 31st 1984. Tell a 6 year old that they can't go trick or treating and you remember it for life! I also remember the doctor telling that because it was a special date, I'd remember it. Guess he was right. I'm betting my mom didn't know that I remembered the toy too :)
- Care Bears (1983)
- Strawberry Shortcake (1980)
- My Little Pony (1983)
-MTV (1981) and MUCH Music (1984)
- Hairbands (Like Def Lepard, Bon Jovi, Poison, Mötley Crüe, Gun N' Roses....) - Back to the Future (1985) - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) - Star Wars episodes V (1980) and VI (1983). I'm not really a fan but I know several people who will have words with me if I don't include them in this list. - Gremlins (1984) And finally, the inspiration for tonight's blog: Who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS! (1984)
The 80s were a walking, talking fashion and pop culture disaster. No other decade gets laughed at quite as much as the 80s do. The 70s come close but not quite. I just remember it as being a fun time. I was a kid after all. I do remember the neon though. And leg warmers. And LA Gear clothing, which usually had a whole lot of neon on it. If anyone went to see LMFAO at Bluesfest this summer, you got a snap shot of what the 80s were like.
Anyhow, with Halloween approaching, I decided it would be a good night to watch Ghostbusters. I found a special DVD set at HMV, which had both Ghostbusters and Ghostbuster 2 in it, along with a little behind the scenes booklet. It was cheap and just thinking about those movies made me smile. Watching it as a kid, it was super cool. Amazing special effects. Watching it now just makes me laugh because the "special effects" seem rather lame compared to today's standards. But this is definitely a movie that stands the test of time. It's still funny. It's still cheezy. It's still awesome. And everyone still remembers the words to its title song - here's a link to the song in case you want to take a stroll down memory lane.
That's one of my favourite scenes. "GET HER!!!!!!" Makes me laugh every time.
A long day at work, capped off with 3 hours of overtime. So my brain is kind of fried and I don't feel much like writing tonight.
It's nights like this that I wish that money wasn't such an important part of our lives.
I'm very much looking forward to sleeping in this weekend and spending some time getting my shit together. And maybe catching up on some missed tv episodes and my book.
Since Hallowe'en is coming up, here's a video to get everyone in the mood. It's a scene from my favourite Hallowe'en Movie "Hocus Pocus" starring Bette Midler>
I take the bus at least twice a day. Usually it's a pretty mundane and uneventful ride. But tonight's was a little on the interesting side.
I caught the bus a little after 5pm, so right in the height of rush hour. My bus is usually on the full side to begin with but today it was running late so it was even more crowded than usual.
A woman was sitting on the outside of 2 seats. The inside seat was empty. The problem was that she had a rather large frame in a box with her, so she had it between her and the seat in front of her, which effectively blocked the seat beside her. 2 stops after mine, a woman decided that she wanted to sit in this empty, yet blocked seat. Since I had my iPod on, I didn't get the entire jest of the beginning of the conversation but I got the escalation which followed. Lady sitting with package (Woman A) told standing lady (woman B) that she didn't think there was room because the package was in the way. Woman B told Woman A to move the package. Woman A said that she didn't want to block the aisle and hit people with it. I give a point to Woman A for that. Woman B then tell Woman A that she shouldn't have brought such a large package on the bus then, especially during rush hour. I'm going to award Woman B a point for that. It's kind of true. Plan your trips accordingly people! Woman B then tells Woman A that she paid for a seat on the bus so she's going to take it. Woman A said that she paid for a seat too. This is where Woman A loses a point because she's actually taking up 2 seats. So.... Woman B tries to shimmy past Woman A to get into the seat, which is pretty much impossible. Woman A just moves her legs a bit to the side. WTF? Are you people 3 years old or something?? Fuck.
Now's where it gets really interesting. While Woman B is trying to get passed Woman A (who isn't moving out of the way), her bag/purse swings a bit and hits Woman A on the head, which Woman A seems to take a bit of offence to. Gee, I wonder why? At this point, the two women are now seated side by side and are arguing loudly. To the point where the bus driver was looking at them (he was on the phone to control on a un-related matter - like the fact that we were very late and very crowded). Woman B must of really wanted that seat because I so wouldn't have wanted to sit next to a woman that I'd just had angry words with, had managed to piss off and had smacked in the head with my purse. The purse thing did look accidental from my view point (which was almost directly across the aisle). I get hit several times a week by the bags, purses and backpacks of people going by so I'm used to it and know that it happens.
The two women seemed to calm down. I lost track of how it ended as the bus was now so full of people that the aisle was blocked and I couldn't see them anymore. I think that Woman A got off the bus with her package or somehow moved to another seat. However, I did hear Woman B bitching to someone else about the ordeal (couldn't see her but I could hear her, even with my iPod on). So that made for a rather interesting bus ride home. For a minute there I thought there might be an actual brawl. I'm sure that would have resulted in the bus being detained while the cops were called, so I'm glad it didn't happen.
Oh! And during this whole mess, I got some awesome news via email: I scored tickets to the Hallowe'en Party that I wanted to go to!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of my favourite bands, My Darkest Days, is playing there. I'm so friggin' excited. Two very awesome people worked together to get me the tickets and I'm so very greateful to them for it. I'm very excited now. For a multitude of reasons which I'll explain over the coming weeks :) The news made my day.
Good Night!
Sarah
It's not a city bus, but it's a bus. And it's a funny photo too :)
Today's french class was the class from hell. It started out ok. I nailed like 3 questions in a row. But then the teacher got us all confused. By the end of class, all 9 of us were so mixed up, not a single one of us could come up with a correct answer. We were all playing a strange guessing game. It was brutal.
To make matters worse, once I got back to the office, I showed some of my notes and work books to my co-workers who's first language is french. They laughed their asses off. And were horrified by some of the bad stuff that was being taught to us. Great. Just great. No wonder the stuff I hear in the office doesn't match the stuff I learn in class. The really frustrating part was that I asked one of my co-workers the same question I'd asked my teacher. My co-worker was able to explain it to me in 30 seconds and I actually understood!!!! My teacher spent 30 minutes explaining the same damn thing and I still didn't understand it. So friggin' annoying.
Maybe I should just give up on the classes and hire my co-workers to teach me. It might be a better plan. Sigh.
I'm smart. I know I am. So why can't I get this? At least I wasn't alone in my misery or confusion.
Speaking of class, I keep thinking that I'd love to take some University classes. Maybe I'll work on getting my honours, then my masters and maybe even a PhD. I think I could handle and afford 1 class a semester. I kind of miss it. I do like to learn. Not a big fan of the home work but it's a necessary evil. I dunno. Something to thing about.
Good Night!
Dow's Lake with Carleton University in the background.
My apartment was freezing. Usually, my place is roasting. When the heat comes on, I have two options: On and on full blast. There is no off, there is no low. Thankfully, I don't pay for my heat. It's included in the rent. However, as of late, my apartment has been freezing. Even with the oven on, I've been chilly. The culprit? The fact that my window AC unit was still in the window.
The way I saw it, I had two options: Freeze to death or take the damn thing out. I went with option B. I first decided that I needed to remove the plexi glass that was filling in the open window above my AC, since it was duct taped to the window and I needed to be able to slide the winow. It would appear that Steph and I did a wonderful sealing job with the duct tape back in May when she helped me put in the AC, because I couldn't get the fucking tape off! I had to go and get a kitchen chair and stand on it so that I could be close enough to pry the tape off. I finally got most of it off and then was able to get the plexi glass out.
For my next trick, I stood on the chair and shimmied the ac up and across the wood frame it rests on. I had to lift up as there are 2 little metal brackets that it sits on to help hold it in place. Once I got the damn thing towards the front of the board, I climbed off the chair and attempted to lift the unit out of the window. One end of it is significantly heavier than the other. As a result, I nearly dropped the whole thing onto my wicker blanket box. Thankfully, I managed to right it and myself mid-way through and pulled of the save and successfully got the ac onto the chair.
I then did a little heavy breathing and patted myself on the back for not dropping it or the board it rests on out the window. And for not falling ass over tea kettle out the window myself.
I then moved the AC to my bed where I managed to get it into a garbage bag for storage. It was at this point that I opted to store the AC in my bedroom closet rather than figure out how to get it down a flight of stairs and into my storage locker by myself. Instead, I literally rolled the AC across my bed, where I then picked it up and put it in my closet. TA DA!!!!!!!!
I'm also going to point out that I managed to do all of this without breaking a nail or encountering any major creepy crawlies. I'm willing to bet that my arms might be a tad on the tiny side tomorrow, but the pain will keep me awake in french class so it's a good thing.
Little miss independent strikes again :)
Good Night!
Sarah
Amost had to resort to dressing like this to keep warm!
Since I celebrated Thanksgiving yesterday, today was my own day. I had big plans for it. I was going to get the laundry done, do up all the dishes, clean the bathroom and living room and bake a pie. I got 3 loads of laundry done, most of the dishes done and I made the pie. LOL. I did get caught up on a good amount of TV watching and internet browsing though. I need another day off work in order to get caught up on the house work I should have done today.
I really hate doing house work. I like to cook, but don't like doing the clean up. I need to find a man who likes to clean. I'll cook for him, so long as he cleans for me. Except laundry. I don't actually mind doing the laundry. And I don't mind vacuuming either, but since I don't have carpets in my apartment, I don't do much of that. I miss having a dishwasher. My apartment in Calgary was awesome. It was big, bright and it had a built in, apartment sized dishwasher. Ottawa needs more apartments like that.
And God help me, I've discovered Pinterest. I could lose hours a day on that site. In fact, I'm pretty sure I lost several hours on there today. I did find some very cool recipes I now what to try and a couple very cool craft ideas. There's just a world of endless opportunities on there. It's crazy and wonderful all at the same time.
The pie I made today was a pumpkin pie and I made it from scratch. As in I cup up and scooped out and cooked the pumpkin myself. I cheated on the crust and used a pre-made one but it was a fresh, not frozen one so I looked home made. Not that it mattered what it looks like as I'm the only one eating it (for now). I may end up taking some leftovers into work. It's a very good pie. I'm quite impressed with myself. I had roast chicken, turnip and stuffing for dinner tonight. It was very lovely. I think I'm going to try a recipe I found on Pinterest for dinner tomorrow night, which will use up some of the leftover chicken and cheese I have in the fridge. I just remember to stop at the grocery store and pick up the few items that need to go with it.
It's back to work tomorrow. I think it's harder to go back to work after a long weekend than it is after a normal weekend. You get used to have the time off and it seems to fly by to quickly too. Oh well. Thankfully it's a short week.
To all the Canadians out there: Happy Thanksgiving and I hope everyone found at least 1 thing to be thankful for.
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner tonight. There was a ton of food, lots of wine, lots of laughter and an abundance of things to be thankful for. This wasn't a dinner with my family. This was a dinner with the "B" family.
I first met the B family back in 1997 thanks to their daughter who I met at University. Since I couldn't afford to go home for Thanksgiving, I was invited over to her family's house for dinner. Fast forward 15 years and I'm still being invited over for dinner. The fact that they count me in as one of their own makes my heart smile and I am so grateful for them. When I joined them for dinner in 2010, I was miserable. I was jobless and feel at odds with the world. They made me laugh and smile and gave me hope that things would get better, and they did. Being around them all today gave me the same feeling.
Mr and Mrs. B live out in the country in a lovely farm house. When we got there today, the men folk were out in the back 40 putting in fence posts. Mrs. B and I had stepped outside to take a photo of the beautiful sugar maple when her grand son came up to us. Turns out the tractor had run out of gas. So I volunteer to walk one of the spare gas cans out to them. It was a lovely fall day and the leaves were beautiful so a wander through the field was perfect. After delivering the gas and getting caught up with people, Mr. B says "Can you walk up ahead and hold up the next fence post?". So I troop through the tall grass and find the next pole and hold it until the others can get to me and then they banged it into the ground and attached the wire to it. The next thing I know, I've hunted down the next 10 poles. LOL. Just like my own family. If you show up, you're put to work. I was more glad to help out and it was very nice being outside too.
The dinner was great and the turkey was huge!! It was almost 30lbs. The best part of the night came during dessert. My friend's sister in law is a vegetarian so she doesn't eat turkey. She also doesn't like pumpkin pie. So, my friend and her husband got a "Turkey" ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins for dessert (and a pumpkin pie). The frozen turkey cake was a huge hit! Photos were taken of the sister in law eating the "turkey" and we all got to try a piece. I have to admit, it was pretty awesome. And pretty damn funny too.
It was a great day and evening. I am truly blessed to have such wonderful friends and people in my life. I appreciate them more than they'll ever know.
Before dessert was served, Mr. B had everyone at the table say what we are thankful for. I think I'm going to end tonight's blog with the answer I gave:
I am thankful for surviving the layoffs at work and having a job. I am thankful for friends who act as a surrogate family. And I am thankful for pants which fit looser coming out of storage than they did when they went into storage.
I had a bit of a busy day. I managed to hit up 3 different malls today! I bought my Hallowe'en costume this morning. It's a "sexy witch" outfit. I have to admit, it's a little on the short side. There's a Hallowe'en party that I want to go to (have to win to get in) and if I pull that off, I'll find some fishnet tights to wear under it. When I wear it to work, I'll put on a pair of leggings. Either way, it's a fun costume and I'm looking forward to wearing it. I love Hallowe'en :)
I picked up a new CD today. It's "Transit of Venus" by Three Days Grace. I'll listen to that one tomorrow.
While I was at mall #2 today, I met up with my friend Xtinktor for coffee. His wife and daughter were at a park nearby and after an incident with a man wandering the park naked, so opted to leave the park (after the police showed up and took the man away) and they came to hang out with us. As you know, I'm terrified of children.
So we're sitting there, chatting away, and Xtinkor's daughter (she's 4) starts telling me all about the man in the park who took his clothes off. It was all I could do not to fall over laughing. I understand that the situation wasn't funny from the mom's perspective and I'm sure if I'd been in the same situation, my first worry would be able the child. But hearing about the story second hand from a 4 year old was insanely amusing. She also made me smile when she started to dance to the music from the local shoe store.
Anyhow, after we'd finished and were walking down the mall, something grabbed my hand. I looked down and the munchkin had a hold of me. I'm quite proud of myself for not screaming "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" and jumping around like I had a spider on me or something. I was quite shocked actually. I was surprised that a kid I'd only met a half hour earlier trusted me enough to grab my hand. Most kids that I've met seem quite leery of new people. Not her. LOL. She seems to be quite the free spirit. I didn't panic. I just kept walking as she held my hand and played the "don't step on the lines between the floor tiles" game.
Truthfully, she was quite adorable. I don't know if it's my newly found exposure to babies thanks to my adorable niece and the super cute Baby D or if I really do have some deep seeded maternal instincts but whatever it is, being attacked by the munchkin wasn't so scary. It kind of felt nice.
And she was definitely better behaved than some of the kids that I ran into today. Like the little girl in the women's washroom who kept trying to crawl under the walls of the stalls. Or the 3 that were running loose at the entrance of the magazine store so no one could get in or out. When did parents stop being responsible for their offspring? I wouldn't have never got away doing stuff like that when I was a kid. Xtinktor and his wife did tell their wee one to knock it off when her dancing got a little too wild and she listened. Pretty much everywhere I looked today, there were small kids running amuck. When did this become socially acceptable?? Seriously people, if you're not responsible enough to look after your kids, DON'T HAVE ANY!!
Ok. That's the end of my rant for the day. It's been a good, fun day but now it's time to spend some quality time with my bed and my kick ass soft sheets :)
Friday agrees with my brain. For the first time all week, my head is a fairly quiet place. All the things I've had on my mind this week have been compartmentalised or ignore so I'm feeling much better. Now I'm just mostly tired. The sheer insanity of work has a lot to do with that. I was very happy to get out of the office only 45 minutes late tonight. I can't even begin to explain how happy I am that I'm able to sleep in tomorrow. Yes, I'm excited about sleep. I know, I know. I need a life. That's a work in progress.
I decided to share some of my favourite music tonight since I don't quite feel like writing.
First up is "Chalk Outline" from Canadian band "Three Days Grace". I'm digging it. I'm not totally in love with it yet, but it's growing on me.
Next, this is "Still Swingin' " by Papa Roach. I love this one and have since the first time I heard it. I also like the video. It's got a cool 'zombie' theme to it.
About a month ago I happened upon a band called "Throw the Fight". They're American and they're pretty damn good. Their new single is "Not So Hollywood" The song is good but I like several of their other songs on their album much better.
Here's another Canadian band, "Art of Dying". This is my favourite song off their album. It's called "Raining". It features the lead singer of Three Days Grace, Adam Gontier.
Last one is "Second Chance" by Shinedown. This is off their last album and I got to see them perform it live this summer and it was amazing. Their new album is pretty cool too.
I'd better turn off the rock and head to bed before the neighbours complain. LOL.
Good Night!
Sarah
A little fuzzy but this is Shinedown at Bluesfest this summer.
I'm very happy to report that the bake sale was a hit. I'll know just how big of a hit sometime tomorrow morning once I can do a final count.
I really don't have much to say tonight. Instead, I'm going to let someone else do all the talking. I'm sure most people have seen this clip already. It's all over Facebook and Twitter. I've watched it a few times myself. It's one of the things that has been rolling around in my head all week. I personally think that we need more role models like her.
My apartment currently smells like a bakery. I made butter pecan cupcakes with french vanilla frosting. Which are topped with fall sprinkles. I also made a pan of Peanut Butter squares. No, I'm not trying to bake myself into a sugar coma. It's all for charity. Tomorrow we're having a bake sale at work. I might not have a big bank account but I know how to bake :)
French class was long and boring. Some random crazy guy asked me for money while I was outside on my break. I didn't have anything on me other than my phone. After I told him know, he started talking to the stairs beside me about righteousness and Jesus Christ and God. It was odd. But still more entertaining than class.
Back onto the charity topic for a minute. We got a letter at work today from Plan Canada. Last Christmas the office took up a collection and we sent 3 "Library in a Box" to Haiti. The letter from Plan Canada was them updating us on what they did over the last year. It was great to know that we'd been a part of helping others. When we all came together as a group, we did something great. And that's an awesome feeling. I think I may look into charity giving as an option for Christmas gifts.
I'm still processing all the thoughts in my head, but my mind wasn't buzzing as badly this evening. I think focusing on the baking tonight was a good distraction. I'm also kind of hoping that some answers will just appear out of thin air and help me out. Just like I'm hoping to win the lottery every week :)
Sleep time.
Good Night!
Sarah
Didn't make these this time, but I'm sure they taste just as good.
Did you know that today's date is a palindrome? It's the same forwards and backwards: 2.10.2012. Kind of cool eh?
My mind if all over the place tonight and I'm on the restless side. There's a million things on my mind. And I can't articulate any of them. A line from Finger Eleven's song "Whatever Doesn't Kill Me" springs to mind. It says:
"Don't mistake the silences There's so much I haven't said It's not that quiet in my head But I can't even tell you that"
Yeah. That's how I feel. As a direct result, I've been quieter and introverted and neither is overly normal for me. People are starting to notice. Which I don't like. Because then they ask questions and then I have to plaster on a fake smile and pretend that all is right with my world and so forth. And trust me, faking it is exhausting. It's mentally draining. It's not that any one thing is wrong, it's just that I have a lot of things that I'm thinking about right now. Some good. Some bad. Some are downright insane but they're there for entertainment's sake. I just need to process.
I had a bit of a depressing lunch break today too so that didn't help. Everyone was talking about their plans for the long weekend, since it's Thanksgiving here on Monday. My plans for this weekend....clean my apartment, do laundry and fix my fall wreath so I can hang it on my door. That's. it. Oh and I have to decide if I want to do a roast chicken or a roast beef or a ham for my dinner on Monday. Metro has prime rib on sale this week so that might just be an option. I'm used to going it alone for Thanksgiving. It really is no big deal. I've been doing it for 15 years. And I did get to go home last year and went to the fall fair with my parents, which was awesome. We got slightly sun burnt watching the heavy horse show. How insane is that?
But yes, I'm back on my own this year, which really is fine. Like I said, I'm used to it. I've adapted. Developed my own traditions (which reminds me, I need to pick up some wine....). I just hit a little low today listening to everyone else. I think I was just jealous that they have something to be excited about and I don't. That's all. Do I miss my family? Of course I do. But just because I'm not there with them in person, doesn't mean that they're not with me. Took me several years on my own to figure that one out. I'm glad I did.
I think it's time to give my mind a break. After all, I have french in the morning. I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I am about that one. Le sigh.
I talk about my job and fellow co-workers a lot. That's probably due to the fact that my job takes up a great amount of my life and the fact that my office is often on par with a 3 ring circus. Or at least it feels that way.
Today was one of those days. I'm pretty darn sure that I had the exact same meeting twice today. Once this morning and then again this afternoon. The scenery was different but those in attendance were the same. It was kind of like the first meeting was the planning and the second meeting was the re-cap of the plan, with a few more details provided. It did make for an interesting day. And I only banged myself in the head with my notebook twice. This is an improvement from last week when I banged my head off the wall a couple of times.
I did something today that I haven't been able to do for a while though - I was able to walk away. At the end of the day, after working an extra half hour, I knew I still had stuff to do. But knowing that it would wait, I opted to walk away and head home. This isn't my usual course of action. Normally, I stay and put in more overtime and try to get it done. But lately I've been feeling a little burnt out and that's not good for any of us.
I actually like my job. Really, I do. And I like the vast majority of my co-workers, most of the time at least. But I don't want my job to become my life. I know that I really don't have much of a life and I'm working on fixing that, and my job does fill a big void. But I don't want to be one of those people who has their job and that's it. Unless it's my dream job and then I can maybe see it being my life. I am only one person. I look after nearly 150 people. That's starting to boarder on impossible. Thankfully, I do have someone helping me now and that's great, but the new person still has lots to learn until she's 100% up to speed. Some days I don't feel like I get anything accomplished. Some mornings I can't even make it from the door to my desk without someone stopping me and asking me for stuff. Those are the days I wish I could just shut myself in my office and put everyone on ignore. Two problems with that: 1. I have a cubicle not an office, so there's no door. 2. I freak out my co-workers when I get that cranky and anti-social. Freaking out one's co-workers is not a good thing, or so I've been told. But I'm it's a hell of a lot of fun to do.
Anyhow, tonight something inside my just said "walk away". And I did. And it felt very good. It was nice to get home while the sun was still up. And the best part is that until I sat down to write this, I hadn't thought about work all evening. No guilt, no worry. I think I might actually be learning how to let shit go. That's a very good thing.
So is sleep. It helps me deal with the circus and all the characters there :)
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