Today was one of those days. I'm pretty darn sure that I had the exact same meeting twice today. Once this morning and then again this afternoon. The scenery was different but those in attendance were the same. It was kind of like the first meeting was the planning and the second meeting was the re-cap of the plan, with a few more details provided. It did make for an interesting day. And I only banged myself in the head with my notebook twice. This is an improvement from last week when I banged my head off the wall a couple of times.
I did something today that I haven't been able to do for a while though - I was able to walk away. At the end of the day, after working an extra half hour, I knew I still had stuff to do. But knowing that it would wait, I opted to walk away and head home. This isn't my usual course of action. Normally, I stay and put in more overtime and try to get it done. But lately I've been feeling a little burnt out and that's not good for any of us.
I actually like my job. Really, I do. And I like the vast majority of my co-workers, most of the time at least. But I don't want my job to become my life. I know that I really don't have much of a life and I'm working on fixing that, and my job does fill a big void. But I don't want to be one of those people who has their job and that's it. Unless it's my dream job and then I can maybe see it being my life. I am only one person. I look after nearly 150 people. That's starting to boarder on impossible. Thankfully, I do have someone helping me now and that's great, but the new person still has lots to learn until she's 100% up to speed. Some days I don't feel like I get anything accomplished. Some mornings I can't even make it from the door to my desk without someone stopping me and asking me for stuff. Those are the days I wish I could just shut myself in my office and put everyone on ignore. Two problems with that: 1. I have a cubicle not an office, so there's no door. 2. I freak out my co-workers when I get that cranky and anti-social. Freaking out one's co-workers is not a good thing, or so I've been told. But I'm it's a hell of a lot of fun to do.
Anyhow, tonight something inside my just said "walk away". And I did. And it felt very good. It was nice to get home while the sun was still up. And the best part is that until I sat down to write this, I hadn't thought about work all evening. No guilt, no worry. I think I might actually be learning how to let shit go. That's a very good thing.
So is sleep. It helps me deal with the circus and all the characters there :)
Good Night!
Sarah
I miss hockey :(
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