Goodbye 2021 (Day 656)

 2021 will come to an end in roughly 10.5 hours and it's ening a lot like 2020 did. We're still dealing with a pandemic, case counts are on the rise, gathering resturictions and limits are being put in place and people are speding hours waiting in long time ups. This time it's fr booster shots and rapid tests. Thank god we have toilet paper this time around.

So we saw a small reprieve n the summer whne case counts went down and vaccines were going in arms en mass. A new varint of Covid that diesn't give a shit about any of that changed things over the last month and a bit and here we are. At least I wasn't afraif to travel home to see my family for Christmas this year and this time I was able to hug my great aunt and uncle. Still didn't get to see my niece thouh.

Most of 2020 sucked hard. But 2021 say a marked improvement. It felt like a few things came into alignment for me. My health improved. I was able to get out and walk more, which made a word of difference. I somehow managed to remove 55lbs from my body (pre-Christmas of course!).  So here's hoping this trend continues into 2022. I still have eye issues and am still worried about Covid 19 but otherwise, things seem to be going well. My family are healthy and all seem to be ok too, so that's a blessing I can count. And I have four packs of toilet paper. LOL

Kindness was a big theme this year and something that a lot of people seem to have forgotten. My mom was reading comments on a Facebook post this afternoon. A new "emergency" homeless shelter is opening here, next to a school. Some of the comments from people were downright awful. Without even knowing the details of who will be staying at that shelter or when, people were villifying the homeless. I hope that none of those people commenting every have to know what it's like to lose everything. To struggle with mental illness or addiction. To have no home. Judge not lest ye be judged and all that. 

Here's hoping that those who opted to be more kind can keep it up for the new year as well. The world needs more kindness.

On the positive side, I got to see more family in 2021. I was able to travel home in July to see my parents and then came to visit me at Thanksgiving and I'm here now for Christmas and New Yeas. My aunt and unclde from Thunder Bay spent a day with me in late September. It's been a minute since I've seen them. LOL. Still not broad travels for me though. Perhaps things will improve enough so that I can venture out within Canada at least. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I have to admit, way back back on March 16th 2020, I had no idea that this virus would still be kicking our asses. That we'd still be working from home. That we'd still be seperated from our families. 

I feel like I'm heading into 2022 with a lot more optimism. Sorry to dump so much hope on you 2022, but I think you can handle it.

Happy New Year!

Sarah

Reflection

I spent a lot of today looking around and thinking about things. Specifically, my life. It was a very reflective day. Some of the stuff that reflected back to me was pretty good and that made me happy. However, the majority of stuff wasn't so good and that made me kind of sad. I didn't sit down and tear myself apart or put myself down. This was just a general evaluation of how things are going in my life. My 35th birthday is only 6 weeks away, so I think that's what spurred on today's thoughts. Time to check in and evaluate things.

I'm doing so much better than I was 5 years ago. When I turned 30, I was miserable. I kept that to myself as much as possible but things were bad. With the exception of still being single, almost everything else has changed and improved. A lot of things in this world get better with age. Apparently I'm one of those.

The problem I have before me at the present is that I've become complacent with my life. Things have gotten better and are going well, so I'm ok with just letting things be. This isn't good. I'm a dreamer. I have a vivid imagination and wild dreams and unfortunately, I seem to be operating under the delusion that I live in a Disney version of the world, where if you wish hard enough, and believe strongly enough *poof*, your magic godmother fairy type person appears and makes all those dreams come true. Yeah, that's not quite how it works.

I've come to the rather sobering realization that if I want any of these wild ass dreams of mine to come true, then I'm going to need to work for them. Really, really work for them. Put plans in place and follow through on them. Strive to be better and not accept mediocrity. I've been doing that my whole life. Like back in high school. I was a good student. Good grades came to me easily, so I never really pushed myself. Same with University. Had I actually pushed myself and really applied myself, I could have got great grades but for some stupid reason, I never felt the need.

But not anymore. This isn't just limited to my personal life either. My work life is going to have to change as well. I need to start looking for the next step. My career needs to grow too. And while complacency can be safe, it's not what I want. Don't get me wrong, I like and most of the time enjoy my job, but it's not my "dream" job and it's not the final destination in my career path either.

I am holding out some hope that the universe will help me along too and I have faith that it won't let me fall on my ass either.

I know what I want and why I want it. I just don't know the Where, as in where this will take me, the Who as in who will I become or the most important and hardest one, the How. That one is going to require some more thought and planning. But I do know that whatever I decide to do or how I decide to approach it all, everything is going to start with one small step, taken with courage, hope and determination. And I'm taking that step right now.

Good Night!

Sarah