Women's March

Yesterday, Donald Trump was sworn in as the 45th President of the United States of America.

You have no idea how much I wish that was the opening line to a joke. But it isn't. It's very real.

Watching the news over the last 6 months has made me increasingly more worried, more concerned. 

I studied history. I know that women and minorities have had to fight for almost every right, every privileged that's been granted to them through out history. I know that the fight continues for some of those today. 

I saw a public figure make bold and disturbing statements that threaten the social rights progress that has been made over the last few decades. I saw people accept what that public figure said. I saw people support, defend and "brush off" those statements. Then I saw the unthinkable happen:

I saw a nation elect that public figure into what is arguably one of the most powerful political positions in the world. 

I'm no longer worried, I'm terrified. I'm terrified that a strained situation is going to snowball and get worse. I'm terrified that those who were able to accept those disturbing statements will become so complacent that they start to accept disturbing actions. 

I'm beyond terrified that those attitudes will filter into my country, and that my nieces will grow up in a world that treats women, minorities, civil, social and basic human rights worse than the world that I was lucky enough to grow up in.

Forget making America great again, let's try returning hope to all those who struggle, who are oppressed just because of their gender, religion, skin colour or sexual orientation.

I am hopeful for a world of harmony, acceptance and grace, where the United States isn't being lead by a bully and where basic human rights aren't in jeopardy.

This is why I support all those women and men who were marching in peaceful protest all around the world today. Thank you and Good night.

Sarah

Happy New Blog

So I guess it's been a while eh? Over a year in fact. 

I'm writing this as a gift to my mother, who repeatedly has told me that she's getting tired of reading the same blog post. Even though so knows that I haven't been writing, she checks my blog every morning. I'm glad to know that I have at least one dedicated reader. 

So 2016 is upon us and I have to say, I'm happy to see it. It's not because 2015 was a bad year, because it wasn't, it's just that I have a gut feeling about 2016 and it's a good gut feeling.

It's off to a good start so far. I spent NYE with my friend MA. We stuffed our faces, watched a movie and toasted with Sparkling fruit juice at Midnight. We're real wild women aren't we? Today I helped her cook a feast fit for royalty and joined her and 3 others for a very wonderful turkey dinner. One of the friends I've met before and I think she's a hoot. The other 2 were people I was meeting for the first time. We all hit it off and had a grand ol' time. Food was enjoyed, stories were shared. Laughter rang out and smiles were abundant. We're not even 24 hours into 2016 and I've already been social and made a couple of new friends. I certainly hope this is a trend that continues into 2016. 

Looking back, 2015 was a pretty good year. I got to spend time with several people who are near and dear to my heart. My last blog was written 4 days after I started a new job. I'm still there! I've settled in and have learnt pretty much everything about how it works. It's still a bit of a work in progress but it is progressing. It's quite far from being my dream job, but it pays the bills and it's serving its purpose as a stepping stone and learning opportunity on my path. 

In May, I headed home for my birthday and had a great (but short) visit with my family. 

June saw a new owner taking over my apartment building. This has been a good thing. They've made some fantastic improvements. I'm still living in the same crappy apartment but it's now a slightly less crappy one thanks to the improvements. My balcony garden was a pretty awesome one this year and I added a new hibiscus plant to my collection. 

I headed East in August to visit on my oldest friend (as in the friend I've known the longest) and we had ourselves a great adventure in PEI and the Moncton area of NB. I went swimming in the Ocean which I haven't done since I was kid, I saw a jellyfish (didn't get stung!) and walked on the Ocean floor in New Brunswick. I got to visit with all her boys and made a friend for life with her cat, even though I'm quite allergic.  I'm pretty sure that I've fallen in love with PEI. This could end up being an expensive obsession.

The end of August/start of September brought me a very welcome visitor from BC. I got a chance to play tour guide once again in my fabulous city and get caught up with one of my favourite people. The first weekend we nearly melted it was so hot. The 2nd weekend, we nearly froze and were quite damp around the edges. LOL. Gotta love Canadian weather.

I got a real treat in October when my parents came to visit me for Thanksgiving. This was a first. They've never been here for Thanksgiving before. It was a great but way to short visit. I even managed to cook a spectacular turkey dinner with all the fixings in my slightly less crappy little apartment. 

I just got back from my Christmas holidays 2 days ago. I had a nice, long visit with my parents. It's funny. No matter how long I'm home, it never feels like it's long enough. Every time I get on the train and I wave good bye are we're pulling away from the station, my heart breaks a little. You'd think I would be used to it by now, but no, I'm not. 2016 marks me having lived away for home for 19 years. That's the same amount of time that I lived at home. And yet I still get crazy excited when I get to see my parents and I get sad and heart broken when I have to leave or they have to leave. Part of the heart break is that I know that they're getting old. I don't want them to get old. The older they get, the closer I get to having to say a final goodbye to them. That's something I can't fathom doing. My humble words can't begin to convey how amazing my parents are or how lucky I am to be their daughter. I honestly have no idea what I'd do without them and I hope and pray that it's a good long time before I have to find out how to do that. 

So, in a nutshell, that was 2015. I'm keeping the faith that 2016 will beat 2015 in awesomeness. I hope I get to spend even more time with those near and dear to me. I hope I get to see even more of my country or even the world. I hope I smile more. And laugh more. Spend more carefree days at the beach or wandering my city. I hope to convert more strangers into friends. I hope to worry less and let more things go. I hope to love myself more and take better care of me. I hope to read more amazing books and watch less television. I hope to hear my soul sing more and hope to keep shorter chains on my demons. I hope to love more. And most of all, I hope to live more in 2016.

Let's do this!

Good Night!!

Sarah

Cavendish Beach, PEI

Oh, What A Night

Yes, I have a Billy Joel song stuck in my head (and yes, I know that it's a cover of the 4 Seasons)

I think I spent a wee too much time in the sun yesterday. I could hardly keep my eyes open by bed time. I almost didn't make it all the way through the hockey game (which Ottawa won 6-1). Actually, it was more of a boxing match than a hockey game. Both teams were running out of players. I haven't seen anything quite like it before.

Work today was....frustrating. It's a case of "the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing" or maybe a "too many cooks in the kitchen". Either way, it leads to frustration because you can't really move ahead until everyone is moving in the same direction. And it's not just me who's frustrated. I can see it on the faces and in the eyes of some of the people I work directly with. It's hard. Something I'd love to offer up my thoughts and suggestions but I don't feel that it's my place to do so. Instead, I support where I can and just keep at it, knowing that things will all work out in their own time.

Our weather was fantastic again today. 27 and sunny. A little too warm for May in my opinion but I'll take it. It does look like spring will return for us on the weekend though.

My evening was pretty good. I had every intention of doing the dishes but I never got there. I watched a new episode of Castle and then starting to putter about. Without going into details, because some of my life I still wish to keep private, I took a leap of faith and started to put into action some things to help me live a happier life. A few baby steps on the way to living the life I want to live. It was a moving experience and my soul feels happy tonight. That's the only way I can explain it. I really think that God/The Universe/The Goddess....whoever, whatever may have given me something that I've been asking for. Something I've been requesting for some time now. It's possible that I had earlier and was just too closed off to see it or maybe I just got it. I'm looking forward to seeing where this new path leads.

Don't worry if I sound like I'm not making sense. I assure you, I'm not off my rocker. Well, no more than usual. It makes sense in my head and that's all that matters at the moment. Perhaps I'll work on some clarity next.

Good Night!

Sarah

Reflection

I spent a lot of today looking around and thinking about things. Specifically, my life. It was a very reflective day. Some of the stuff that reflected back to me was pretty good and that made me happy. However, the majority of stuff wasn't so good and that made me kind of sad. I didn't sit down and tear myself apart or put myself down. This was just a general evaluation of how things are going in my life. My 35th birthday is only 6 weeks away, so I think that's what spurred on today's thoughts. Time to check in and evaluate things.

I'm doing so much better than I was 5 years ago. When I turned 30, I was miserable. I kept that to myself as much as possible but things were bad. With the exception of still being single, almost everything else has changed and improved. A lot of things in this world get better with age. Apparently I'm one of those.

The problem I have before me at the present is that I've become complacent with my life. Things have gotten better and are going well, so I'm ok with just letting things be. This isn't good. I'm a dreamer. I have a vivid imagination and wild dreams and unfortunately, I seem to be operating under the delusion that I live in a Disney version of the world, where if you wish hard enough, and believe strongly enough *poof*, your magic godmother fairy type person appears and makes all those dreams come true. Yeah, that's not quite how it works.

I've come to the rather sobering realization that if I want any of these wild ass dreams of mine to come true, then I'm going to need to work for them. Really, really work for them. Put plans in place and follow through on them. Strive to be better and not accept mediocrity. I've been doing that my whole life. Like back in high school. I was a good student. Good grades came to me easily, so I never really pushed myself. Same with University. Had I actually pushed myself and really applied myself, I could have got great grades but for some stupid reason, I never felt the need.

But not anymore. This isn't just limited to my personal life either. My work life is going to have to change as well. I need to start looking for the next step. My career needs to grow too. And while complacency can be safe, it's not what I want. Don't get me wrong, I like and most of the time enjoy my job, but it's not my "dream" job and it's not the final destination in my career path either.

I am holding out some hope that the universe will help me along too and I have faith that it won't let me fall on my ass either.

I know what I want and why I want it. I just don't know the Where, as in where this will take me, the Who as in who will I become or the most important and hardest one, the How. That one is going to require some more thought and planning. But I do know that whatever I decide to do or how I decide to approach it all, everything is going to start with one small step, taken with courage, hope and determination. And I'm taking that step right now.

Good Night!

Sarah

Around The World

Day #2 of my training session was pretty good. I only got lost once but was able to figure it out and get back on track. Here's hoping I remember it all :)

We finished early so I had enough time to go back to the office. I kind of wish I didn't. LOL. I now have a rather long "to do" list as a result. Oh well. It will keep me out of trouble and make the day fly by.

The fact that it was once again minus fucking cold here had me thinking about summer and wishing I could go away somewhere. I'd love to go to Europe. I really, really would. But financially, that's not going to happen for some time yet. So I was thinking about travel in Canada. I'd really love to go back to BC. I want to spend some time in Victoria again (since I was there in the winter) and I want to go to Vancouver. On the flip side, I'm really interested in seeing Newfoundland. Only problem with NFLD is that I'd like to tour the province and see some of the smaller villages and such and I don't drive. So I need to find someone to go with me who does drive. In BC, I can take a ferry from Vic to Van so it's not an issue. Money is still the key factor in both places, but they'd be really awesome to visit. I haven't had a "real" vacation since 2007. Going home to visit is nice and all but it's not quite the same as going away somewhere new and getting to explore and experience a new place. Kind of like how I'd love to be in Turks and Caicos right now :)

I'm pretty darn sure that if I ever win it big on the lottery, I'd spend the first year travelling all over the world. Just seeing it and taking it all in. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our day to day routines, get buried in our work, consumed by out lives that we forget that there's a HUGE world out there and we're just living in one small piece of it. Sometimes thinking about it make me sad because I'm afraid that I'll never find the money or find a way to get out there and see it all. Other times I just sit and daydream about what it's going to be like when I get there. I make a pretend itinerary of all the fabulous things I want to see, taste, smell and experience. All the world history, art, food and beauty. And that makes me smile.

One day.....

Good Night.

Sarah

Viva Las Vegas!!!! That was an awesome trip!

An Early Piece of Christmas Magic

So it was an epic fail with the French homework tonight. It's not that I'm not motivated to do it, it's that the instructions are terrible. They don't really explain well what we're to do. Not only that but there's no guidelines or explanation about how the questions come together - eg. The pro-noun comes before the noun or crap like that. Basically it's memory work. Which isn't really learning. It's memorizing the order things go in but I sure as shit can't explain back to you why they go in that order. Sigh. Here's hoping there's no math in the class tomorrow. And I only have 4 classes left :)

We had a fire drill at work today. At the same time, we got a little snow flurry. Thanks Mother Nature. We sure appreciated that one.

I got something a little magical in my email this evening. I got a video from Santa. Now I know what you're thinking. I'm too old to believe in Santa, right? WRONG! You're never too old to believe in Santa or magic (or the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, The Great Pumpkin or Zombies). It's what keeps our inner child young and in turn keeps us young at heart. Other than I'm slightly worried that Santa got my favourite colour wrong. Hmmm. LOL. And I really don't know why Santa is concerned with the speed at which I put on my make up.

Maybe if you watch the video, it will all make sense:  http://magicsanta.ca/gateway.html?code=STXCUT

I think it's pretty cool. We certainly never had anything like that when I was a kid. I do remember phoning Santa at the North Pole one year though. That one stuck with me. I was so impressed! As much as I claim to not be a fan of children, I have to admit that I love seeing the magic come alive in their eyes and smiles at Christmas. There's something very special about that.

I also got a gift this weekend, or rather tonight. I got some piece of mind. For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful. I feel like maybe, just maybe I've got things under control. That I've got this. That I'm not quite as messed up as I thought I was. That maybe, just maybe, I have a handle on this being a responsible adult thing and that there really is a light at the end of the tunnel. And no, that light isn't a freight train. A couple of angels helped me to find the piece of mind. Not sure how I'll ever be able to thank them enough - thank them for trusting me and having faith in me.

I think there really is a little hint of magic in the air .

Good Night!

Sarah

Heritage Park in Calgary