Goodbye 2021 (Day 656)

 2021 will come to an end in roughly 10.5 hours and it's ening a lot like 2020 did. We're still dealing with a pandemic, case counts are on the rise, gathering resturictions and limits are being put in place and people are speding hours waiting in long time ups. This time it's fr booster shots and rapid tests. Thank god we have toilet paper this time around.

So we saw a small reprieve n the summer whne case counts went down and vaccines were going in arms en mass. A new varint of Covid that diesn't give a shit about any of that changed things over the last month and a bit and here we are. At least I wasn't afraif to travel home to see my family for Christmas this year and this time I was able to hug my great aunt and uncle. Still didn't get to see my niece thouh.

Most of 2020 sucked hard. But 2021 say a marked improvement. It felt like a few things came into alignment for me. My health improved. I was able to get out and walk more, which made a word of difference. I somehow managed to remove 55lbs from my body (pre-Christmas of course!).  So here's hoping this trend continues into 2022. I still have eye issues and am still worried about Covid 19 but otherwise, things seem to be going well. My family are healthy and all seem to be ok too, so that's a blessing I can count. And I have four packs of toilet paper. LOL

Kindness was a big theme this year and something that a lot of people seem to have forgotten. My mom was reading comments on a Facebook post this afternoon. A new "emergency" homeless shelter is opening here, next to a school. Some of the comments from people were downright awful. Without even knowing the details of who will be staying at that shelter or when, people were villifying the homeless. I hope that none of those people commenting every have to know what it's like to lose everything. To struggle with mental illness or addiction. To have no home. Judge not lest ye be judged and all that. 

Here's hoping that those who opted to be more kind can keep it up for the new year as well. The world needs more kindness.

On the positive side, I got to see more family in 2021. I was able to travel home in July to see my parents and then came to visit me at Thanksgiving and I'm here now for Christmas and New Yeas. My aunt and unclde from Thunder Bay spent a day with me in late September. It's been a minute since I've seen them. LOL. Still not broad travels for me though. Perhaps things will improve enough so that I can venture out within Canada at least. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I have to admit, way back back on March 16th 2020, I had no idea that this virus would still be kicking our asses. That we'd still be working from home. That we'd still be seperated from our families. 

I feel like I'm heading into 2022 with a lot more optimism. Sorry to dump so much hope on you 2022, but I think you can handle it.

Happy New Year!

Sarah

Days 12 and 13: Brighter days and Brownies

I accidentally stayed up way past my bedtime last night and opted to go to bed rather than blogging. I think it was a wise choice.

I took Friday off work. I was worried that it wouldn't seem like a day off but it actually did. Only issue was that I kept thinking it was Saturday instead of Friday. Oops.

Started my day by sleeping in, then had a late breakfast and did two load of laundry. Kristina came over and we went for a walk in the gloriously awesome sunghine, maintaining a good distance. After the walk, it was too nice out to go inside so we sat across the street from my building (a meter a part) and chatted for almost an hour. We talked to an elderly woman who lost her husband in January and she's been dealing with suddenly being alone and now the whole social distancing thing. She decided that going for a walk was a good idea and we told her it was. Yes, I'm alone but I've had years of practice at it. Being alone was very new to her. I think she appreciated having someone to talk to, even just for a few minutes. I'm glad we were able to make her smile and even laugh a bit. I hope we brought a bit of joy to her day.

After Kristina left, I read for a bit and then ordered pizza for dinner as a treat. I've got to say, my bank account is looking a whole lot better since this social disancing thing started. I'm resisted the urge to shop online and I'm only ordering in once or twice a week. And I have enough pizza now to feed me for three days!

A lot of perfomers have been doing live online video steaming performanaces. One of my favourite bands, the Barenaked Ladies, performed one of my favourite songs, Lovers in a Dangerous Time (their version) the other day. It was awesome. Made me smile and think back to a few summers ago when I saw them perform live. It's awesome how music works as a time travel device. You can see the performance here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DbChOUotfo

The weather wasn't as nice today. It was supposed to be sunny but that never happened. It stayed overcast but it was on the warm side and no rain so that was nice. I spent my morning doing more laundry and baking birthday brownies for Kristina (from scratch!). My apartment still smells like brownies, which is pretty awesome. Her birthday is tomorrow and I know it sucks that we can't all get together and go out to celebrate. Heck, I couldn't even get out to buy her a gift, but I could bake her brownies so that's what I did. I have a stash of birthday cards here so I was at least able to give her a nice card.

I've been going out only once a week, to stock up on groceries. Kristina asked if I wanted to go with her today, so that I could go to different stores that I've been hitting up. The trick was how to do that while keeping our social distance. Being that we both live alone and have both been following the government's call for social isolation, we figured that the risk to each other was minimal. But we still took precausions. Public Health says for those taking a Taxi or an Uber, you should ride in the back seat and keep the window down a bit to ensure fresh air is moving. So that's what we did. Kristina drove and I sat in the back passenger seat. It seemed a little silly at first but we got used to it pretty quickly. We both had hand sanitizer and used it as soon as we got back in the car after shopping. I had lysol wipes in my purse so I gave Kristina one when she stopped at the Costco gas bar to get gas for 59.9 cents a litre! As soon as I got home, I washed my hands and used a wipe to disinfect the tap, door handles, my cane, my keys and my phone. The ritual continues.

Today almost felt like a normal day. Except for the riding in the back seat, not being able to go out and eat and not being able to give my friend a birthday hug part. And now I'm re-stocked and will stay away from the stores for another week, possibly longer. All depends on how long my milk lasts.

I've got to give credit to all the people working in grocery stores. We stopped at two different stores for groceries. Both places had people spraying the carts and wiping them down for us. Both stores had tape on the floor near the cashes to help with social distancing. Both were wiping down the cash area after each person. Both places had plexiglass to protect the cashiers. I have to wonder if this will become a new norm gong forward. I can totally see the plexiglass being left up at the cashes. Kind of makes sense really. And I didn't feel like it took away anything from the interaction or made it less "personal". All the employees we encountered were quite cheerful (except one but I'm noing to dwell on the negative) and I thank them for that. We're all stuck in a tough situation and seeing that others are still being cheerful and helpful is heart warming.

Not sure what I'm going to get up to tomorrow, but I do think some folding and putting away of clean laundry is in my furture. We're in for a lot of rain and a possible thunder storm tomorrow. Sounds like a good day to curl up with my book and a nice cup of tea.

"Our greatness has always come from people who expect nothing and take nothing for granted - folks who work hard for what they have, then reach back and help others after them." - Michelle Obama

Day 11 - Dead mouse, thunder and a Happy Birthday

If it wasn't for the fact that I've been numbering my blogs to match the number of days that I've been doing the whole "work from home", "social isolation" and "social distancing" thing, I'd have no idea how long I'd have been at home. It's been nine work days.

It was a grey, rainy, dull kind of day. Work was quiet. I did chat online with a few co-workers and we were able to review some documents via email so on the whole things are working well and we're saving trees in the process.

The rain cooperated and let up in time for me to go for a walk at lunch, without getting wet or having to take my umbrella. On the way out of my driveway, I saw a dead mouse. Thankfully, it wasn't a real mouse. I truly had to do a double take. The cardinals were very vocal again today which is beautiful to hear. But so were the crows. Not sure what had them all riled up. I kept looking to see if there was a hawk or something larger in the area but I didn't see anything. Just a couple Vs of geese returning home for the season.

The "dead mouse" I found at the end of the driveway

My walk and I are a bit funny. Thanks to my knee, every single step I take hurts. It's mostly a dull ache or throb unless I step funny or am not paying attention and twist suddenly, then it's a very sharp pain. When I first start walking, everything from my waist down hurts. My lower backs, hips, knees, legs...feet were ok today. But I keep moving, because I know, it will all loosen up. Sure enough, by the time I've hit the halfway mark and I'm on my way back home, all the pains are gone, except the injured knee and today my lower back wouldn't stop for some reason. My head feels clearer, my sinuses are clearer, my breath feels stronger and I feel more energetic. All of the positives out weigh the pain from my knee. I don't forget it's there, but enjoying my time outside helps me focus on something besides it.

This afternoon we were graced with a single roll of thunder. Apparenlty there was some lightening too but my back is to the window so I didn't see it. Sure heard the thunder though. It was one of those good ones that you can hear rolling across the sky.  Guess there was a single storm cloud passing by. Thunder storms are one of my favourite things. Nature can be really cool sometimes.

Today is my niece's 8th birthday. I do feel bad for her that she didn't get to have a party and see all of her friends but she didn't see bummed out about that. She was more excited about the fact that she got an ice cream cake for her birthday and got to have it for lunch. The simple joys of an 8 year old. We did a puzzle together over video chat, which was as difficult as it sounds. LOL. We got it though! She's a pretty fun kid with a very incredible imagination. I hope she never loses it. I'm sure it will serve her well later in life. It amuses me that she's inherited the stubborn streak that runs in my family. My brother is going to have fun with that when she's older. It was nice to be able to see and talk to her.

Had a quick video chat with my parents too. They had a rather large bunny in their yard this afternoon/evening. They've been throwing leftover veggies and fruit out into their garden so that might explain the size of the rabbit.

I have tomorrow off. Not sure what I'm going to do other than attempt to sleep in. I'm sure I can find something to keep myself occupied. I don't need geoceries yet so I most likely will not venture out to the store, though a Bulk Barn run out we nice. It's not necessary though so I'm not sure if I'll attempt it or not.

I definately feel better today. I'm hoping for some sunshine tomorrow to help keep my spirits up.

"I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Day 10 - Jujubes and the first robin of spring

Ten days down. No one knows how many to go or if someone does, they sure aren't saying.

Work was pretty quiet today though I did have a small research project to do this morning and managed to get it done. m

The weather cooperated and warmed up today and we even saw the sun for a bit. Kristina stopped by over the lunch hour so I had a walking buddy today. We saw a male cardinal and heard a couple cardinals signing away. On the way back, we saw a cat on one of the pathways. At first we thought the man in front of the cat was walking it but no, the cat was just following him. It eventaully lost interest and came back up onto the same path we were on. When we got to the end of the path, there was a very vocal and pissed off squirrel in one of the trees. I suspect that the cat was the reason for its displeasure. That's also where I saw my first robin of the spring! I've heard them a coupel of different evenings over the last week or so but haven't been able to see one. Until today. I'm rather pleased abot that. It was in a bush when I first saw it and then it hopped down and was flipping leaves over, looking for worms and bugs. It was funny to watch. It was nice to get out and stretch my legs, get fresh air into my lungs and speak to a human in person!

My eagle eyes spotted him hopping in the bushes!

Before all that, I attempted to use the video call feature on Facebook to chat with my mom. Took three tries but we got it!!! Apparently the call kept ringing on my dad's tablet and my mom was going to throw it out the window to make it stop. LOL. It was nice seeing them though my mom was mean and showed me the big bag of jujubes that she's been holding onto for me. I'll hopefully see them both in person soon and can finally collect my jujubes.

I spent a lot of my free time today reading. I was really getting close to the end of my book and I wanted to finish it. I'm reading the Outlander series. I had started by watching the TV show but once I was told that the books were better, I switched to the books. Halfway through the second book, I caught up to where I left off with the TV show. Now I can finish watching the second season of the show! I also have to start reading the third book to see when and where Claire and Jamie reunite!!!!

All in all, today was a much better day. Last night's blog was cathartic I think and getting some of my thoughts out of my head made me feel lighter. I slept a little better too. Tomorrow is my Friday as I had one "use it or lose it" leave day left so I decided to use it. No friggin' clue what I'm going to do with my day since I can't really do much. Perhaps I'll go on a grocery run. The weather's supposed to be nice so a walk is definately in order. Maybe I'll bake something. Who knows. I'll figure something out.

“I will find you," he whispered in my ear. "I promise. If I must endure two hundred years of purgatory, two hundred years without you - then that is my punishment, which I have earned for my crimes. For I have lied, and killed, and stolen; betrayed and broken trust. But there is the one thing that shall lie in the balance. When I shall stand before God, I shall have one thing to say, to weigh against the rest."

His voice dropped, nearly to a whisper, and his arms tightened around me.

Lord, ye gave me a rare woman, and God! I loved her well.” ― Diana Gabaldon, Dragonfly in Amber

Days 7,8 and 9 - Three for the price of one

I didn't blog last night or the night before. I was too tired and quite frankly, feeling too depressed to bother.

Sunday was the worst day yet. I had no desire to do anything. I didn't even feel like eating (which has it's pros and cons for me). Nothing would hold my interest. I tried watching movies and would lose inerest afer five minutes. Tried reading and would lose interest after a page or two. The highlight of my day was feed peanuts to a squirrel while I sat on my balcony. I'd toss one down to it. It would run into the tree and sit on branch and eat the peanut and then come back down the tree looking for more. It was really cute.

Yesterday I was back at work...from my home office (aka, kitchen table). It was a busy enough day and it kept me occupied.

I was taken to remark yesterday afternoon, that I was surprised by which one of my demons has decided to surface during this time of uncertainty. If someone had asked me to bet on which one would come out to play, my money would have been on my anxiety. Given all the unknows and such, I should be anxious as hell right now, but I'm not. I'm actually quite calm. I think my brain has decided that the situation is what it is, and there's noting we can do to change it, so just sitting back and relaxing is the way to go. I've got food, I've got cleaning supplies (even if my Windex was hiding on my today), I've got toilet paper. I'm ok. So my anxiety is staying at bay. It's my depression that's hanging around. Normally, this time of year, my "winter blues" (seasonal depression) is waning. I feel better and happier. More energetic. But not this time. Not right now.

I think part of the issue is that I'm actually grieving. While no one died, I did suffer a couple of losses thanks to Covid. I didn't get to visit with my parents (whom I haven't seen since late December) and my knee didn't get fixed. Which has a spiraling effect. I was looking foward to being about to get out and walk again, enjoy the warmer spring temps. I was stating to look ahead to the summer and try to decide where I want to go for holidays, who I wanted to visit. That's all gone now.  There's no point in me travelling anywhere as I can only walk for about 10 minutes before I need to stop. Literally every step I take is painful. I think I'm still greiving the loss of what was supposed to be a return of my freedome.

I am taking some comfort in the fact that there's a reason for my depression for once. Usually there's no rhyme or reason to it but this time, I think I can pin point a reason or two.  And I know that the Universe isn't picking on me, so this isn't a "why me" situation. But it still sucks. And it still hurts. More importantly, I'll allowed to feel this way. Looks like I need to process the grief in order to feel better rather than hoping that the sunshine will just improve my mood. For the record, the nice weather does help. So does feeding the squirrels.

Today was a better day, largely due to the fact that I didn't actually start working until almost 11am. Our system was down this morning and no one could log in remotely. So I used the time to start clearning my bathroom. I think it was a very good use of my time! I made tacos for dinner tonight since it's #tacotuesday. LOL. I still didn't venture out but I did sit on my balcony, twice today, and enjoyed the sunshine and fresh air. I really does help.

Mmmm, tacos

"We know what we are, but know not what we may be." - William Shakespeare.

Day 6 - Saturday Supply Run

My bread went moldy on Thursday and I only have 1/2L of milk left. I'm almost out of fresh veggies and my baking supplies are low. I was good. I didn't run to the store every time I realized I needed something or ran out of something. I waited until I had a long list of things I needed. So I decided that I'd make the grocery run today.

I had a shower this morning and for the first time all week, I actually blow dried my hair and styled it (I've been letting it air dry and wearing it in a ponytail). I even put on make up for the first time since Monday. I felt pretty much human again.

Since the bank didn't open until 11am, I got to have a lazy morning. It was nice not having to log into my work account. I was worries that the weekend morning would seem much different than my weekday mornings had been but I was pleasantly surprised that it was. So I took my time getting ready to go. I didn't watch the news this morning either. The only news I saw was the news alerts that I'd gotten in my email overnight. I think that helped with my relaxed state this morning. When I did head out the front door of my building, this is what I saw on my front walk:

No friggin' idea what that was all about. It wasn't there yesterday when I went for my at lunch or when I got my dinner delivery around 5:30. Go figure. The sign is the one the cleaners put in our lobby when they've washed the floor. I have no clue where the bricks came from. I'm just happy to see that the small pond that was on the walkway yesterday is now gone.

Riding the bus was odd because they have the priority seating at the front marked off with caution tape. You're supposed to board via the back door but seeing as I'm currenlty walking with a cane, I get to still board by the front. I had to go to the bank first. I made it there just before a big influx of people. I was able to wait inside the branch. Most people arriving after me had to wait in the ATM vestibule (which really defeated the whole social distancing thing). Inside the bank, they have put down greet squares on the floor so that those in line would stay far enough apart. Sadly, in the time I was there, I saw three people ignore/not notice the squares. The branch manager had to ask one woman to back up to the square and not stand so close to the woman in front of her. I was only at the bank to get loonies, so I can do laundry. Being that I haven't been out shopping and most places aren't taking cash anyhow, I haven't been able to get more change. Our machines here take loonies as we're not advanced enough to have the card operated ones.

After the bank, it was back on the bus to the pharmacy (toothbursh) and then to the grocery store.  I was a bit surprised at the number of people in the grocery store.  We all did a pretty good job of avoiding one and other and people were keeping their distance in line. The store appeared to be well stocked again with meat but was still out of TP and cleaning products. They had limit signs up all over though. I did a good stock up, only taking what I need. I think I've got enough to get my through until next weekend, possibly longer if I get creative! I'm going to have to keep an eye on the bread this time and take preventative measures if I think it's staring to go south.

Decided to order in Chinese food for dinner. I used Uber Eats for the first time, since my go to Chinese place is closed for March Break. I discovered a fun new game called "watch the little car go". If you've never used Uber/Uber Eats before, when the driver heads out to get your order, you can see the car on the map moving to the restaurant and then once the driver has your order, you can follow the car on the map, heading for you. It's quite fun actually or I'm just really bored. Could be both.  LOL.

It's been a quiet night. A lot of channel surfing and book reading and flipping between the two. Kind of restless I guess. I can't quite focus on anything. I think I'm going to try to read a bit before bed and give sleeping in a try tomorrow.

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Day 5 - Wild Weather, Dogs and Seafood

This day went so differently than I thought it would have gone a week ago. I was supposed to have checked into the hospital at 8 this morning. Somewhere around 9:35am, I should have been leaving surgery, with my knee fixed. I should have spent a groggy afternoon worring about what my parents were doing to my apartment while I was incapasitated. Instead of eating alone while watching the news, I should have been having dinner with my Mom and Dad. Clearly the Universe had different plans. I am sad. I am disappointed. But I have no control over the situation or circumsances that lead to the change in plans. So I have to just let it go and roll with it. My surgery will be rescheduled at some point and I'll get to see my parents again soon. Trust me, if this social distancing thing goes on longer than a few weeks, I'm out of here. I'm running away and am going home!!

Over all, I think today was the best day of the week. Partly because I'm starting to adapt to my new norm and partly because it's normal to feel happy that it's Friday. While my plans for the weekend really aren't all that different than my plans for the week, the major difference is that I don't have to work :)

Given that things were a wee  bit slow on the work front, I decided to make muffins, so that I'd had something yummy for my morning snack. I ended up making Oatmeal-Orange muffins with dried canberries. I gotta say, they're one of the best muffins I've made. I swapped out the sugar and used Splenda instead and they were still awesome. I ate three of them today (not all at the same time!).

Oatmeal Orange Muffins with dried cranberries

Our weather was a strange one. Started the morning off at +2, hit+14 this afternoon and we're currently sitting at -2 (feels like -9 with the windchill), on our way down to -10.  We had rain earlier and now we may see flurries. Welcome to spring in Canada. If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes.

I got out for a walk during the warm but windy part and made it home before it rained. I saw a lot more people today. Probably close to a dozen people plus five dogs and three people on bikes. I watched one guy on a bike almost wipe out on some ice on a pathway. People smiled and said hi. Some even stopped for a moment and chatted, all while keeping a respectable distance.

This evening, I supported a local food truck. They've set up shop in another local business' parking lot and for the first time, are offering delivery! So I got my seafood fix tonight with some tender calamari and flakey battered fish. It was nice. I think I've met my deep fried quota for the week though. LOL.

Fish with veggie chips and calamari fritti

I also only watched the news once today. I watched it for a bit this morning. Other than hearing the top of the hour news update on the radio, that was all I exposed myself to today.

I did a lot of reading this afternoon/evening/night. I'm hooked on the Outlander series. I started with the tv show and then several people told me how awesome the books are so I stopped the show and started in on the books, which are 900-1000 pages long. Anyhow, I'm on book two, Drangonfly in Amber and I finally reached the point in the book where I passed where I stopped watching the tv show. Up to now, I had an idea of what was going to happen. Now I don't, so I got much more engrossed in the book. It's a lovely way to kill time.

Tomorrow should be interesting. I have to leave my nest (aka, my apartment) and I have to go to the bank and to a grocery store. I'd better make a good list, I don't want to have to go out again mid-week. Should be an interesting time.

"Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won't have a title until much later." - Bob Goff