Days 12 and 13: Brighter days and Brownies

I accidentally stayed up way past my bedtime last night and opted to go to bed rather than blogging. I think it was a wise choice.

I took Friday off work. I was worried that it wouldn't seem like a day off but it actually did. Only issue was that I kept thinking it was Saturday instead of Friday. Oops.

Started my day by sleeping in, then had a late breakfast and did two load of laundry. Kristina came over and we went for a walk in the gloriously awesome sunghine, maintaining a good distance. After the walk, it was too nice out to go inside so we sat across the street from my building (a meter a part) and chatted for almost an hour. We talked to an elderly woman who lost her husband in January and she's been dealing with suddenly being alone and now the whole social distancing thing. She decided that going for a walk was a good idea and we told her it was. Yes, I'm alone but I've had years of practice at it. Being alone was very new to her. I think she appreciated having someone to talk to, even just for a few minutes. I'm glad we were able to make her smile and even laugh a bit. I hope we brought a bit of joy to her day.

After Kristina left, I read for a bit and then ordered pizza for dinner as a treat. I've got to say, my bank account is looking a whole lot better since this social disancing thing started. I'm resisted the urge to shop online and I'm only ordering in once or twice a week. And I have enough pizza now to feed me for three days!

A lot of perfomers have been doing live online video steaming performanaces. One of my favourite bands, the Barenaked Ladies, performed one of my favourite songs, Lovers in a Dangerous Time (their version) the other day. It was awesome. Made me smile and think back to a few summers ago when I saw them perform live. It's awesome how music works as a time travel device. You can see the performance here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DbChOUotfo

The weather wasn't as nice today. It was supposed to be sunny but that never happened. It stayed overcast but it was on the warm side and no rain so that was nice. I spent my morning doing more laundry and baking birthday brownies for Kristina (from scratch!). My apartment still smells like brownies, which is pretty awesome. Her birthday is tomorrow and I know it sucks that we can't all get together and go out to celebrate. Heck, I couldn't even get out to buy her a gift, but I could bake her brownies so that's what I did. I have a stash of birthday cards here so I was at least able to give her a nice card.

I've been going out only once a week, to stock up on groceries. Kristina asked if I wanted to go with her today, so that I could go to different stores that I've been hitting up. The trick was how to do that while keeping our social distance. Being that we both live alone and have both been following the government's call for social isolation, we figured that the risk to each other was minimal. But we still took precausions. Public Health says for those taking a Taxi or an Uber, you should ride in the back seat and keep the window down a bit to ensure fresh air is moving. So that's what we did. Kristina drove and I sat in the back passenger seat. It seemed a little silly at first but we got used to it pretty quickly. We both had hand sanitizer and used it as soon as we got back in the car after shopping. I had lysol wipes in my purse so I gave Kristina one when she stopped at the Costco gas bar to get gas for 59.9 cents a litre! As soon as I got home, I washed my hands and used a wipe to disinfect the tap, door handles, my cane, my keys and my phone. The ritual continues.

Today almost felt like a normal day. Except for the riding in the back seat, not being able to go out and eat and not being able to give my friend a birthday hug part. And now I'm re-stocked and will stay away from the stores for another week, possibly longer. All depends on how long my milk lasts.

I've got to give credit to all the people working in grocery stores. We stopped at two different stores for groceries. Both places had people spraying the carts and wiping them down for us. Both stores had tape on the floor near the cashes to help with social distancing. Both were wiping down the cash area after each person. Both places had plexiglass to protect the cashiers. I have to wonder if this will become a new norm gong forward. I can totally see the plexiglass being left up at the cashes. Kind of makes sense really. And I didn't feel like it took away anything from the interaction or made it less "personal". All the employees we encountered were quite cheerful (except one but I'm noing to dwell on the negative) and I thank them for that. We're all stuck in a tough situation and seeing that others are still being cheerful and helpful is heart warming.

Not sure what I'm going to get up to tomorrow, but I do think some folding and putting away of clean laundry is in my furture. We're in for a lot of rain and a possible thunder storm tomorrow. Sounds like a good day to curl up with my book and a nice cup of tea.

"Our greatness has always come from people who expect nothing and take nothing for granted - folks who work hard for what they have, then reach back and help others after them." - Michelle Obama

Hunter-Gathering and Moths.

It's a hot evening in Ottawa, so I decided to enjoy as much of it as I can and I sat out reading on the balcony tonight. Once it started to get dark, I got smart. I turned on the lamp just inside my balcony door and left the blinds open so the lamp lit the balcony and I was able to continue reading. I had a few mosquitoes come and bother me (and have a bite on my ankle to show for it) but that was about it. Finally I decided to come inside. I'd just got all my stuff inside and closed the balcony door when I turned and saw a giant moth flying through my living room. Crap. I followed it into my bedroom. I turned on my hall light hoping it would attract the moth, no such luck. So then I got my swiffer and decided to try to chase it back into the living room. Now I don't know if I actually hit it or just scared the bejesus out of it, but suddenly it took off, bounced off the bedroom wall then bounced off the ceiling in the hall, the then wall and then back into my bedroom, off my dresser and under my bed. And I haven't seen the fucker since. I just stood there and watched in disbelief. I tried putting out a few items from under the edge of my bed to see if it was there (2 pairs of running shoes and some dirty laundry) but no moth. I don't know where the hell it went. Maybe it's dead. Maybe it's hiding. Maybe it's made a new home in the underside of my mattress. I have no friggin' idea. Stupid moth. I've turned off the bedroom light and am hoping that it will come out on its own and head for the lights in the living room and kitchen. Funny thing is, had it been a spider, I would have tore the bed frame apart looking for it. A rouge moth, I'm kind of ok with.

I had a rather nice day today. It was hot and sunny but not too humid. There was a nice breeze which helped things out too. I did one of my favourite things today. I went to the Byward Market and got lots of fresh, local produce and meats. There's something so very relaxing and wholesome about doing that. I don't know if it's due to the fact that as a kid and into my early teens I spent most Saturdays helping out in a HUGE garden so I'm used to being around fresh produce or maybe it's something even more primal than that. Maybe it's a throw back to the hunter/gatherer days and going out to get fresh food is one of those basic things engraved on our DNA. Either way, I love doing it and it makes me happy when I get to cook it all up too. Tonight I had a very tender NY strip steak with 2 cobs of corn (first of the season) which actually had a lot of flavour to them for being the first of the season. I was quite impressed. All the vitamin D I soaked up probably helped my happy state too. And the frozen yogurt. That made me pretty damn happy as well.

I'm not sure if it was all the fresh air I got today or the 3/4 of a can of Pear Cider I drank earlier, but I'm rather sleepy now. I think I'll go and take one last look around for the moth and the call it a night.

Oh! And my hand/wrist is feeling much better and it doesn't really hurt to type anymore :)

Good Night!

Sarah

My haul from this afternoon's trip.

Happy Birthday from a Grateful Mind

What a wonderful day it's been!

My morning started off with my mom calling to wish me a happy birthday and telling me all about a humming bird she saw in the backyard. It's pretty early for humming birds, so this really was something special. Mom said that it was a sign of good luck for me since it appeared on my birthday.

At work, a lot of my co-workers wished me a happy birthday and Xtina gave me a lovely candle from Bath and Body Works. One of our newer staff, MA, make strawberry shortcake for my birthday, which we ate out of red solo cups, which was awesome. In the afternoon, my co-worker and I had our last French class for this session. We both passed :) So we celebrated with some cupcakes that I baked. After class, the pair of us had coffee with our teacher and thanked her for making class fun.

After work, I met up with NB and we went out for dinner. We caught up and decided that we're far too young to be this old so there must have been a mistake somewhere along the way!! We split a free dessert which was served with a sparkler in it. That's as close as I've come to blowing out a candle today.

Right now, I'm doing the dishes and trying to think if I forgot to pack anything. I'm heading home for the long weekend and for a party for my great aunt, who turns 80 tomorrow. That certainly puts turning 35 into perspective. I'm really looking forward to getting home to see my family. I haven't seen them since Christmas. Plus I get to do some celebrating, which is great. I usually miss all the family parties.

LOL. I just discovered that the Google Doodle for today is Google wishing me a happy birthday! That's pretty freakin' cool. Guess it helps when you have a Google profile. Awesome.

Since I still have a sink full of dishes and I should have been in bed 11 minutes ago, I'm going to borrow someone else's wise words tonight:

"Pleas'd look forward, pleas'd to look behind,
And count each birthday with a grateful mind."
~ Alexander Pope

Good Night!

Sarah

Saying Goodbye to 34.

In just over a few hours, I will hit the mid-point of the current decade of my age. Technically it's more like 14 hours since I was born in the evening, but you get the drift.

5 years ago, I was miserable. Even though I go to go home and see my family for my birthday, I was very unhappy. Almost nothing in my life had turned out like I planned. And that made me very, very sad. But here I am, just 5 short years later and almost everything seems so different. I'm happy. I'm once again heading home to see my family and I'm excited about it. I'm really looking forward to it. A lot of those same plans I had 5 years ago still haven't worked out, but it doesn't bother me anymore. You know the old joke "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans"? Yeah, I've kind of learnt to live by that one. Just roll with it. Stop worrying so much.Have faith that the Universe isn't going to drop me on my ass. Let go of the past and the negativity that goes with it. Smile more. Smile for no reason. Love. Just love everyone you can, as often as you can. And stop beating yourself up when you think you've failed. Not every failure is an end or a failure at all.

I've grown so much over the last 5 years that I can hardly believe it. Here's hoping for many, many, many more years of wisdom and happiness. Goodbye 34, you've been awesome!

Good Night!

Sarah

This photo should be a clear indicator to which decade I was born in!

Tulips and Playoff Hockey (How Canadian Eh!)

Ok, this is going to be a very quick one since it's past my bedtime and I've had a lot of fresh air and excitement today/tonight.

Work was, well, it's usual interesting self. A near miss of a cluster-fuck this morning but some quick thinking and good timing made everything ok and we carried on like we knew what the hell we were doing. Thankfully the afternoon ran much smoother and involved cake.

After work, a cluster-fuck did occur. There was a "suspicious" package found near the headquarters of National Defense so they closed one of the bridges...the one the buses run on. So....all the buses had to do a little detour which backed everything up. I was supposed to race home and get changed and meet Steph since we were going to go and see the tulips tonight. After 45 minutes of waiting, Steph told me to get on any bus heading to Tunny's (one of the major stops) and she'd rescue me. So that's what I did and that's what she did and I got a freezie for my efforts.

So we flew to my place, I changed and we headed back out to go to see the tulips. They were well worth the effort. The tulips were stunning (as usual) and I think the slowly setting sun made them even more beautiful than usual. Almost every bed was out in full bloom, which is amazing since a week ago they were all still in tight buds or weren't up yet. The weather was perfect and the park wasn't too crowded. We ran into a co-worker and his wife out for a stroll too. Everyone we saw was smiling and happy. It was just so pretty, peaceful and calming. Mother Nature really knocked one out of the park with this.

My good mood was slightly spoiled when Steph and I returned to the car, turned on the sports radio station and discovered the Montreal was winning 2-0 at the midway point of the 2nd period. Hmmm. Not good news but not the end of the world. I opted to watch a re-run of Big Bang while I had my dinner and then flipped to the hockey game to see the Ottawa had scored, making it 2-1. This is good. Ottawa kept fighting...and with 22.6 seconds left to play, they performed a hail mary and scored!!!!!!! Tie Game!!!! We're going to Overtime. Now that is playoff hockey. It would appear that Montreal's goalie hurt himself on his last save so it was their backup on the ice for the first OT period. And then, 2 minutes and 36 seconds into Overtime, Ottawa scored and we won the game!!!!!!!! Thank God/Goddess/Universe etc... I don't think my fingernails were going to last the night. Insane. But now I'm really happy and really sleepy.

Good Night!

Sarah

The Little Things In Life

Since my eyes seem to be staying open for the time being, I decided to blog since I haven't done it in what feels like forever. It's actually been about a week but you get my point.

It was a very odd week. I was very tired all week. My inconsiderate neighbours helped me out Wednesday and Thursday night with the no sleeping thing. On Wednesday, there were a bunch of people out back from 3 different cars. In addition to the car doors slamming, the inconsiderate bunch were standing around smoking and talking....at midnight. WTF? Middle of the week. Don't people have jobs?? The next night, my new downstairs neighbour had some people over and they woke me up at 10:18pm, 11:25pm, Midnight and 12:25pm - they kept going out on the balcony to have a smoke and kept talking/laughing. Not to mention the fact that the dude keeps slamming the screen door shut. The guy who lives across the hall from me broke his ankle and has to go up and down the stairs on crutches (and he's a big dude too, I think about 6'3"). His hopping/operating of the crutches up and down the stairs is quieter than some of the jackasses in my building.

Besides my lack of sleep, things at the office were "off" this week. We're coming up to a big transition period where most of our casuals are leaving and we're getting a new crop in and I think that has a lot of people on edge. There seems to be a lot of stress and tension in the office. It wasn't an overly positive environment this week. And there seemed to be a good deal of "personal drama" that spilled into the office too. Maybe everyone has spring fever. Who knows. I'm just happy that the weekend's here and I can relax.

I had an absolutely fantastic day today. It started off with me getting to sleep in. I got to pull my summer clothes out of the closet and re-discover things I forgot I owned. I headed out with Stephanee today. I haven't been out with her in quite a while. It was nice to hang out again. Even though I'd been upset with her, I still missed spending time with her. I've spent a lot of time alone over the last 2 months, mostly by choice. I needed the solitude. I spent a good deal of time thinking and reflecting on life and myself and my goals and dreams. I needed to do it. And am happier now as a result. Just like we spring clean our homes, it's nice to do a spring cleaning of our minds too.

Steph picked me up around 11:15 am and we headed out to Dollarama where we nearly froze to death. Their AC works quite well apparently. We then decided to grab lunch and head for the river. We found a nice picnic table and ate lunch before heading down one of the pathways along the Ottawa River. It was beautiful. The rapids were crazy, the Canadian geese were everywhere, the birds were signing, we saw a wood pecker and a hawk and the temperature was perfect. It looked like spring but felt like summer.

After the path on the Ottawa side of the river, we headed into Quebec and took a walking path along the river on the Gatineau side. We were able to get quite close to some rapids there. We then decided that we needed to cool down (partly due to the weather, partly the scenery...) so we headed to DQ for some treats, which we then went and ate at Britannia Beach/Park. After the treats we walked some more and ventured out onto the rock bluff at the beach. We walked most of it until we encountered a large group of spiders so we turned around and headed back. It was actually quite funny. I said to Steph "We might want to head back. I can count 5 spiders on the rock ahead of us". I turned around and Steph was already half way back down the bluff!!!! LOL. We saw a turtle sunning itself on a log too.

After that we decided we needed a cooler destination so we opted for Chapters. I needed a new book anyhow, so it was a good choice. After getting said book, we headed into Starbucks for their half price Frappachinos. I managed to score us a free one too, which one of Steph's husband's co-workers ended up enjoying. Once home, I ventured onto the balcony where I sat and read and drank my Starbucks for the better part of an hour and a half. I decided I should make dinner then. I had a lovely t-bone steak with some corn and a nice salad and a can of Pear Cider. A perfect Saturday dinner. After dinner, I had a very relaxing, very refreshing and very welcome shower. My feet were nearly black from wearing my flip flops all day.

And now I'm sitting at the computer, blogging and thinking about uploading the photos from my day. After this, I'm going to curl up and read for a bit more before heading to bed. I wish I had a light on my balcony so I could read out there. That might be bad though. I might never go to bed.

If you're out in the sunshine this weekend, remember your sunscreen (I did!) and enjoy.

Good Night!

Sarah

Bizarre Little Day

It's been a bizarre little day. I'm not sure what the root cause is. Maybe it's the missing 1 hour of sleep or maybe it's the fact that everyone is slowly coming out of hibernation as the weather warms up. The moon isn't full yet so I can't blame that.

I didn't sleep very well. I kept waking up at strange times and for no apparent reason. Once at work, I found a DVD on my chair from someone who wasn't supposed to be in the office today (turns out he came in at like 6:30am and left notes for a few of us.). Things were progressing normally and then I headed out with some other staff to attend an awards ceremony. Four of my co-workers were receiving awards. It was quite nice, despite one office getting their conference call lines crossed. That part was funny.

Back at the office, things were starting to get a little odd. Well, more odd than usual. People just generally seemed to be in odd/cranky/wacky moods. After observing one odd event, I asked my boss "Do you ever have a moment where you look up and look around and say to yourself 'I'm working in a circus'"? To which she replied "Yes, all the time." LOL. Glad that I'm not alone in my views.

On the bus ride home, a man was killing his boredom by playing with one of the hand straps that hang from the bar on the bus. Instead of holding onto it, he was batting at it (kind of like a cat with a ball) and watching it spin around and around and around the bar. And this was a grown man, not some young guy. It was rather amusing to watch. He kept it up for almost 5 minutes too.

This evening's amusement came from my father. A little after 8pm, my phone rings and I check the call display and it's my parents' number. I answer and it's my dad. He's like "What cha doin'?" I told him that I was cutting up some cheese for my lunch tomorrow. He informed me that his lunch for tomorrow was already made (roast beef sandwich in case anyone's curious). LOL. While I was attempting to wash some grapes, he went on about how Bones was a re-run and how he hoped Murdoch was a nice episode. Finally he got to the point of the call. He told me a fun little story called "Dad's adventure with online banking". My father was trying to access a special RRSP site that the bank has, so that he could see his balance. It's not quite as easy as it sounds and he needed to register for the online site and get a password and then it didn't work.....it ends with my dad getting a poor customer service guy on the phone and my dad not letting him off the line until he could successfully access the online site. And he got the guy to give him the account balance too. LOL. I'm not sure which one I feel worse for: My dad or the customer service guy with the bank.  Dad said that he was just calling to vent. I can appreciate that. Venting is good. I'm a fan of it. Venting prevents blow ups. I really should vent more often.

But dad's story amused me and made me smile. So did the fact that my mom started to have a conversation with me, through my father. She was sitting on the other side of him, asking me questions through dad (which she would have had the answers for if she'd checked her email....). I love them. They're bonkers but I wouldn't change them for anything.

So, like I said, it's been a bizarre little day. But one that made me smile a lot, so that's good, right?

Good Night!

Sarah

Random day, random photo - Asparagus Pigs :)

Sunny Saturday, Spring Cleaning and Strength

I haven't been in much of a blogging mood lately and frankly, I've been too damn tired. So I decided I'd better log in tonight and get some words on the screen. Thanks to Daylight Savings Time, I'm going to bed an hour later than planned. To off set this, I shall attempt to sleep in an extra hour tomorrow morning. Not sure if it will work but it's worth a try. My mother tried to tell me that clocks go back an hour tonight instead of going an hour forward. I think she was just trying to find a way to sleep in an extra hour tomorrow.

I had a pretty darn good day today. One of the best I've had in a while. The sun was out and that seemed to be the key. I stood on my balcony in the sun for a bit this morning and it felt glorious. I'm in spring cleaning mode too. I had originally planned to stay home and just clean all day but this afternoon I decided that it was too nice to stay home all day so I escaped for a bit.

Before I left, I managed to get the dishes done, a load of laundry done and some dusting done. I then went downtown, had a Beavertail, walked around the market, taking in the wonderful sunshine, stopped at the butcher and bought a beautiful New York Strip for dinner and then came back home. I did some more cleaning once I was home. I tackled the greasy vent cover that's in the hood over my stove. Thanks to Pinterest, I got it clean without any effort. Just some boiling water and baking soda. Amazing. I also got the burner inserts clean that way. My stove is spotless (for now). I got the toilet cleaned and my bookshelf dusted too. I was on quite the roll. I really do love Pinterest. I was standing in the kitchen, holding the filter and trying to figure out how to clean the damn thing when suddenly, magic words popped into my head. They were "go check on Pinterest". I'm so smart! The answer was there and it worked and now I have a clean filter. Yay!

Tonight I watched the movie "The Other Guys". It was horrible. So I watched the first half of Mall Rats to make up for it. I'll finish watching it sometime tomorrow. I'm hoping to continue my cleaning spree tomorrow.

Adding to my good mood today was that I booked 2 trips this morning. Nothing overly exciting but I'm happy about them. The first is in April. I'm going to Montreal with my old friend Michelle. We're taking the train from my house, which is awesome since I love taking the train and it's a great trip from Ottawa to Montreal (and faster than driving). The best part is that I used some networking skills to get us a LUXURY hotel room for a very budget friendly price. I'm very excited. I can't wait to see what kind of shenanigans we get up to when left to our own devices in Montreal. This is going to be great.
The other trip I booked was just a train ticket home for the May long weekend. My bday (a kind of big one) is one the Thursday before the long weekend and my Great Aunt's 80th bday is the Friday of the long weekend, so I'm heading home to go to her party. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family. I haven't seen them since Christmas so this will be great. I hope the weather is nice.

Since it's actually 12:34am instead of the 11:34pm that my clock says, I really should get to bed. I have a lot more cleaning ahead of me tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be warm but cloudy and maybe some rain in the late afternoon. Perfect cleaning or book reading weather. I have a couple of books that need to be read so we'll see what happens. I found a very yummy sounding scone recipe on Pinterest too that I might attempt. LOL. This truly was a good day. I'm starting to feel like myself again and I really don't have the words to explain how amazing that feels. It's more relief than anymore. The days are getting longer, the shadows are weaken. Step by step, I'm walking back out of the darkness and into the light again.The birds chirping this morning is the kind of sound that makes my soul smile. We're not totally out of winter's grasp yet but we're close and I'm experiencing a strong sense of relief and accomplishment. I've made it through another winter in one piece, coming out into spring, just a little bit stronger than I was when I went in late last fall.

Good Night!

Sarah

My favourite sign of spring: Lily of the Valley

Cookies And A Deep Freeze

I had a pretty good day at work. I was in a training session today (and it continues tomorrow) and the session is going really well. The guys running it are great and really laid back and the stuff we're learning is pretty interesting so it's keeping my attention. Hopefully I remember everything and can apply my knowledge soon.

As a result of training, I actually got to leave work at a normal time.I did a quick tour through Walmart ( I forgot half the stuff I wanted to buy, so it must not have been important ) and found a very nice top on the clearance rack for $7. So that was a nice discovery. After that, I headed home and made dinner.

For the last couple of weeks, I've been craving chocolate chip cookies. I don't really know why. Since there wasn't anything good on tv tonight, I decided to bake. My apartment smells wonderful and I have a nice pile of home made cookies in my kitchen. I think I'll take some to my training session tomorrow and share with my fellow classmates. And the instructors of course.

It's been a long time since I've felt like baking. I love doing it just haven't had the desire. I'm taking this as a positive sign. Engaging in activities that I enjoy is the sign of a happy person. The next step on the improvement list is getting out more. Interacting with other human beings more. That one is going to be a bit of a dozy, seeing as I do love my alone time. I suppose that's why the experts say that we need to step outside of our comfort zone. I've been very chatty with the others in my training session, so that's good too :)

Little positive steps every day. Oh! And I managed not to freeze today, despite the temp being -39C when I left this morning and then being -35C when I came home. Stupid weather. Ottawa was the coldest Capital City in the world today. Novosibirsk, the capital of  Siberia, was warmer than us!! Heck, even Iqaluit, the capital of Nunavut in Canada's North was warmer than Ottawa. If you threw a pitcher of boiling water into the air, snow would form. The tried it on the local news at 6pm and it worked. LOL. Insane. Tomorrow should be slightly warmer at -27. Lucky us.

I'm going to go and crawl into my warm bed and dream of spring now.

Good Night!

Sarah

I was more bundled up today than I was in this photo!

Mental Health

I went to an interesting seminar at work today. It was all about stress in the workplace and mental health. We were taught how identify warning signs of stress, how to avoid it, how to manage it and how recover from it. It was a very well done seminar and we got some great tips. The funny part was that over half of the "stress triggers" in a workplace pretty much sum up my office. LOL. Tell me something that I didn't already know.

Sitting there, listening to the instructor talk about mental health, giving stats about how many people experience mental health issues, how many people don't bother to seek help, the negative stigmas attached to it....it made me realize just how far I've come.

I remember the darkness, the crippling feels of worthlessness. Feeling that I couldn't function. I remember one very specific day in early 2009. I was still in Calgary. I sat on the floor in my living room and I just started to cry. And cried and cried and cried. I didn't think I was ever going to stop. I was beyond sad. I was beyond depressed. I was miserable. Absolutely miserable. I never, ever want to feel that way again.

And thus far, I never have. And I'm pretty certain that I never will again. Why? I've got the tools, the support  system and the wisdom to prevent it from ever getting that bad again. Bad months turned into bad weeks and bad weeks turned into bad days. And 1 bad day is easier to deal with than a whole week of bad days. The really nice part is that those bad days have been further and further apart too. My next goal is to stop worrying about when they'll come back. I'm working on it and am slowly getting better :)

I find more things to smile about everyday. I find more things to be thankful for everyday. I find more things to be happy about everyday. I like me more and more everyday. And that might be the most important thing of all.

Good Night!

Sarah

Pancakes, Psychics and Ikea

My day started with a text message waking me up at 8:45am. In all fairness, I wasn't 100% asleep, more like in that in between stage. It was Steph telling me that her husband's shift got changed and he was going in for the morning not that afternoon. Our plan had been to meet at 1pm and then go and see what kind of trouble we could get into. So this was a change in a plans. But then she asked the magic question "Do you want to do breakfast?". That got me out of bed and into the shower. LOL. I love breakfast foods and I knew that she meant we'd be going to Broadways for breakfast. They have the most amazing pancakes there and since I hadn't had them in a very long time, I was on board. The pancakes are Caramel Apple Cinnamon. So good. I couldn't even finish them so I have one and a bit in my fridge to have with breakfast tomorrow. Yay!

Our next adventure was to find the Psychic Fair. I've never been to one so this was a new adventure for me. Problem is that the coupon we had (2 for 1 admission) had 2 addresses on it: one in the east end and one in the west. We opted for the one in the west end since that's where we were. We quickly discovered that the address didn't actually exist. So we hopped the Queensway and headed East. Slowly. We got some snow overnight and into today. About 7cms of it. So traffic was backed up because everyone seemed to have forgotten how to drive in it. Fine by us. Slow and steady is the safe choice and we got to our destination in one piece.

Once inside the fair, we circulated and picked up pamphlets from all of the booths. For the most part, the exhibitors seemed quite normal. But there's always one who's a little "out there" and she latched onto us. I should point out that this happens to Steph and I a lot. For some reason, we seem to attract the crazies. I dunno. Anyhow, the next thing we know, she's showing us photos of her favourite cats in her scrap book and telling us about all the different things she's done etc.. We finally escape and take all of our pamphlets out into the hall and find a nice couch to sit on and review everything. While we're in the middle of it, the lady we'd just been cornered by comes out and heads to the elevator. She pushes the button and even though it opened almost right away, she saw us and decided to come and chat a bit more. After telling us something about having had new cards and a new sign made for her booth, but having misplaced the cards....she left us alone. Steph and I decided it was time to head back inside and get a reading done before the nut case came back.

I'm not 100% convinced that psychics and mediums etc... are real. But I've seen and heard enough to be open to the possibility that they are. So I picked one man to go and get a reading from. His name is Keith. He told me right up front what to expect and said that if within the first few minutes, if what he said about my past and present weren't accurate within reason, to stop him and he'd refocus and if that still didn't work, there'd be no charge. Sounds like a good deal to me. Thank god I was sitting down, before the first 10 words out of his mouth nearly knocked me on my ass. Within the first 30 seconds he had me nailed. Spot on. And this man knew nothing about me, not even my name. And I'm not talking about vague references that could be applied to me (and about half the population). I'm talking much more specific details. He was able to tell me things about myself that I've never shared with anyone, not even my closest friends. I was pretty open to hear what he said after that.

It was a 30+ minute reading that also utilized tarot cards (which are kind of cool on their own). I'm not going to go into much detail here about the reading, as I'm still trying to take it all in myself. He made a CD of the reading for me (most of the people there did) so I can listen to it again. He did give some general and very specific dates and timelines for things, so it will be interesting to see if the events happen as he suggested they  will. The reading did give me the 2 things I'd hoped they would: reassurance that I'm on the right path and am currently doing the right thing(s) for me and the second thing is some peace of mind.
What was slightly uncanny about the reading is that I had an astrology reading done back in the late summer. Several things that that guy said would occur in the next 18-24 months were the same things that Keith came up with today. That sure made me pay attention. Steph was able to get some answers too. They might not have all been what she wanted to hear, but one of them really made her happy and in my opinion, it was the most important one that she had, so that's a very good thing.

After that adventure, we headed for Ikea. I was looking for spice jars. I love the Ottawa Ikea. If you follow the arrows on the floor and walk to whole place (both floors), it's 1km in length. So we got some exercise today too. We also ran into one of our co-workers and her boyfriend. That was a fun surprise. I kept finding some very phallic looking vases and planters though. In fact, after handling one of them, I felt so dirty that I suggest to Steph that I should buy the vase dinner. LOL. We shouldn't be left alone in Ikea. I did get my spice jars as well as a new measuring cup and a beautiful new pillow for my living room. I also got some frozen meatballs and sauce mix. I'm going to cook them up tomorrow for dinner, using my slow cooker. That  should make for a nice and easy Sunday dinner.

It was a very nice Saturday and I've been left with some things to think about, but I'm very happy. And I got home in time to watch the last 9 minutes of the Ottawa - Winnipeg game, including getting to see Ottawa score their 4th goal. They won the game 4-1. Unfortunately Toronto won tonight too. I was really hoping Montreal would get the upper hand. Oh well.

I'm going to head off to bed now. I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow AND getting to have another awesome pancake. LOL.

Good Night!

Sarah

The photo has nothing to do with today other than the fact that the chair and stool are from Ikea :)

The Search For Happiness

Despite the fact that I've been trying to focus on my book for the last hour and a bit, my brain has been running along in the background, ponder something I heard earlier this evening. I was listening to a radio interview and the guy being interviewed basically said that he needed to do what was necessary to find his happiness. This really stuck with me and has had me thinking about my happiness too and what I'm willing to do to get it.

Looking back on my life, I realized that in high school I spent a lot of time doing things to either make other people happy or keep other people happy. Some days I wish I could steal Doc Brown's time machine and travel back to high school and talk some sense into my self. But I guess you can't live and learn if you don't make the mistakes in the first place.

In my second year of college, I finally admitted to myself that I had a serious problem and sought help. That was the first time I really took any great strides towards trying to be happy. In that case, I ended up taking anti-depressants. Which worked. I had a great doctor who took the time to ensure that we found the right medication and ensured that I got better.

The next quest for happiness saw me moving 4000kms away to Calgary. That kind of worked. It worked for the first 6 months. The next 3.5 years were kind of on the rough side. I should have sought help but didn't. I was an idiot for not doing that but again, live and learn. So when the opportunity presented itself to move back, I jumped at it and I'm very happy that I did so, even if it meant saying good bye to one of my very best friends. I really do miss watching the Sens games and eating cheap wings with you in Mug's Pub Cam!!

Even though I was back in Ottawa, the job scene didn't have me overly happy. After a year and a half at the place, I was laid off. And I have to admit, I've never been happier in my life to be laid off. It was a huge relief. All the stress was gone. And I was very happy about that.

It's been more than 2 years now and I'm pretty happy. I have a job that I love (which might be ending in 2 short months but I'll cross that bridge when we come to it) and having learnt from my past mistakes, I doubled up my vitamin D dosage per day and what a HUGE difference that has made. Amazing.

Everything is slowly falling into place. I don't feel guilty about doing things that make me happy anymore or better yet, I don't feel as guilty for saying "no" to things that I know won't make me happy. Like why I haven't had sex in a very long time. While sex does make me happy (seriously, if it doesn't you're doing something very, very wrong), casual sex doesn't make me happy. It might temporarily but not the next morning. I keep being asked why a "young, liberated, independent woman" like me isn't out living it up. It's simple. It's because this young, liberated, independent woman happens to have some rather old fashioned morals (I blame my parents) and as much as I want to be seen as cool or popular or whatever the hell makes you part of the in crowd these days, if I means doing things that don't make me happy, count me out. Call it selfish if you will, but if it doesn't make me happy, I'm not interested.

My trip to the grocery store this evening saw me make a rather silly "happy" decision too. I was hungry. Which is a horrible thing when you're in a store surrounded by food. The beautifully glazed doughnuts and delicious looking cheese sticks were calling my name. Eating them would have made me happy, for about 10 minutes. Then the guilt would have set in. Again, learn from your mistakes. I've been an emotional eater for years and I know better. Food can be just like a drug. So I said no and kept walking. Instead, I decided to have chicken fajitas for dinner and bought the ingredients for that. I skipped the chip aisle all together (not trusting the earlier will power) and opted to get some roasted soy nuts for a snack instead. The fajitas I made were pretty kick ass too. I had an avocado in the fridge so I made some fresh guacamole to go on them and sauteed up some mushrooms and they were amazing. So much more delicious and filling than a stupid doughnut would have been, that's for sure. And that one, seemingly insignificant decision made me very happy this evening.

Whether it's a big decision, like deciding to take a chance on a new job and a new city or a small one like making a smarter food choice in the grocery store, making the decision to be happy is the best one of all.
It isn't easy for me, especially in the winter, but I know what to do to cope, to get through it and get back to being happy. I know the triggers for emotional eating and am finding new ways to deal with that all the time - like drinking tea instead. The only down side to that seems to be getting up to pee at 2am. LOL.

And right now, wrapping up this blog and crawling into my nice, warm, comfortable bed is going to make me very happy :)

Good Night!

Sarah

One of my most favourite "Happy" places

Happy New Year: Resolutions for 2013

So I didn't blog last night, mainly because it was New Year's Eve and by the time we'd finished watching the movies, I was way too tired to blog. I thought about blogging this morning but couldn't really get motivated. That and I had too much of an audience. And trust me, my mom has been pouting all day because she didn't have anything to read. I'm pretty sure my brother was too hungover to notice the lack of blog so I'm good on that front.

Looking back, 2012 was a pretty good year. It got off to a kind of sucky start in the fact that I ended up spending New Year's Eve home alone (plans got cancelled on me). But it actually wasn't that bad. I still had fun. 2012 ended in a kind of sucky fashion too seeing as I had a stomach virus at Christmas and just as I started to feel better, I came down with a sinus cold. I'm blaming the cigarette smoke at my parents' place for that. But everything in between was pretty good. I managed to find my way more often than I have in years. I was home for my mom's 65th bday, my niece's Christening and summer holidays. Getting to see family more often was a definite plus. I got a 1 year contract in 2012 (which I'm really hoping to at least repeat that this year) and am doing a job that I actually enjoy doing. I went to Montreal for a weekend all by myself and in doing so proved to myself that sitting around and just hoping for something to happen never works and that I'm a lot braver than I give myself credit for.

I also started blogging in 2012. It's been almost 6 months since I started. Some days I can't believe that I've been able to keep it up this long. Other days I wonder how I ever got by without blogging.

2013 got off to a slightly interesting start with involved watching my parents snake out the sewer clean-out this morning. My mother owns an 18 foot long, professional, sewer snake, designed to go into a sewer clean out and remove any blockages. Seriously? Who else's mom has that (who isn't married to a plumber!)?? Apparently our toilet didn't like the toilet paper currently being used. It wasn't breaking down fast enough I guess. Fun times. I assisted by bringing more newspaper and paper towels. That's a fantastic way to start off the new year. After that was all cleaned up and I got to have my shower, we hit the road and once again visited my favourite 100 year old, Mr. B. I helped him by throwing out some dead plants that were in his house. I'm pretty sure they died of heat stroke. When I picked the one up, he actually asked me to water it. I told him I was pretty sure it was beyond hope. So now he gets to buy new ones. LOL.

This evening, my parents and I went to dinner with my great Aunt and Uncle and my Grandparents. It was really nice. The restaurant wasn't very crowded so we could talk and actually be heard at the other end of the table. After dinner I said my good byes since I'm heading back to Ottawa on Thursday. The tail end of my visits are always a little sad since I have to say goodbye to everyone and 90% of the time, I don't know when I'll see them again.

Since 2013 is here, it's time for some resolutions. I stopped making them several years ago because I never kept them so why bother? But I started making them again a couple of years ago. I just started to get smarter about them and make them less specific. So here are my resolutions for 2013:

1. Be Happy. Seems simple enough right? Not quite. I do have depression issues, which are mostly seasonal in nature but even when I'm happy, I don't let myself actually "be" happy. I start to worry that something bad is going to come along and change everything. Or that my depression will come back at full force. I have to stop that. When I'm happy, I need to embrace it and enjoy it. Not ruin it with "what ifs".

2. Stress less, Worry less, Laugh more. I'm a worrier. I worry, a lot and often. I worry about big things and little things. This leads to stress. I'm almost 600kms away from my office right now, yet I'm already stressing about what's waiting for me when I get back and what work has to be done and in such a short time frame too. ENOUGH! I've had to tell myself several times over the last few days to knock it off and stop worrying about work. I'm only one person. No one else really seems to notice is some of the smaller things don't get done. So long as my boss is happy with my work and I'm happy with my work, then we're good. I have to stop letting it bug me. I need to find more things that I love doing, that make me laugh and smile and focus on those. Leave the worries behind and re-focus my energy.

3. Have faith. This one isn't as religious as you'd think. It's more along the lines of me needing to have faith in myself, in others as well as in God and the Universe. I need to have faith in myself that I will be able to figure everything own in my own sweet time. I need to have faith in others and believe that they won't let me down, won't abandon me if I ask for help or reveal that I don't have it as much together as I lead most people to believe. And I need to have more faith in the fact that God/the Universe isn't going to drop me on my ass. I might be tested, but they won't let me fail. I'm a good person and deserve to be happy.

4. Stop being afraid. Fear is stupid reason for not doing something. And I have to stop letting it be my excuse for not doing things that I want to do. Like Montreal. I got over my fear and had an awesome time. I need to do more of that.

5. Stop being complacent. If I want things to change, I can't just wish the change to happen. I need to get off my ass and make it happen. I have to be the change that I want to be. I have a crappy little apartment. I complain about it all the time. Fine. I need to either move or make changes to make the sucker less crappy. I need to stop accepting mediocre. I don't have a fairy godmother so I need to take whatever steps are necessary to take my dreams and make them real. My 2013 horoscope said " If you can dream it, you can have it. Don't settle for less". Sounds like damn good advice to me.

So that's the list. 5 resolutions for 2013. This year will be a happy and healthy one. And I hope it's full of good luck, good laughter and great people too. And lots and lots of love.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Sarah

Home!

I know, I know, I didn't blog last night. By the time I even thought of my blog, I was already in bed, all cocooned up in my blankets and there was no way that I was getting back out of that warmth again until I absolutely had to.

I made it home, safe and sound, with no thanks to Mother Nature. When I woke up yesterday, Ottawa resembled the inside of a snow globe. Steph made it to my house and while I was taking out the garbage and watering my plants, she was shovelling out the end of my street where the plow had made a nice pile from plowing the main road. When we were ready to go, Steph had me stand on the corner, in the snow and watch for traffic on the main road. It's 5am and we're in the middle of a snow storm, there's no traffic! But I did as I was told and I gave her the all clear and she gunned it out of my street, through the snow pile and onto the main road. YAY! I then had to run around the snow bank and get into the car.

Partway there, we saw police lights in the distance. As we creeped closer, we saw that both of our lanes were blocked by an accident. Thankfully, being insanely early and a snow storm, we were able to drive in the other lane and go around it all. It was a van vs tow truck crash. Steph said "I wonder who was the cause of that" and her husband and I both said "Tow Truck" at the same time. But judging by where the van was, I think it might have been the van.

We got to the train station at a good time. In fact, we beat the attendant to the station. Most people were huddled around the front door but it was in the wind. I stood by the back door, where it's protected and I could watch the snow fall. I also lucked out since this was the door the Via guy used and I was the first person to be let into the warmth of the train station.

Via Rail has come a long way in the last 10 years. They've introduced seat assignment and are fixing up their cars. But when it comes to holiday travel, Via sucks. The seat assignment goes out the window. They just tell everyone to "sit where ever" This really sucks if you're travelling in pair because it means that you might not get seats together. Anyhow, the boarding announcement said to get on at car 3. So we hustled there. An elderly lady and I had been hiding under a covered area until the train was ready for boarding, so we were one of the last ones to get to the car. Once there, another lady said to go down to where the man was sweeping, car 5. So we trudged through the storm to that car. I was the 2nd to last to get one. First problem - no more room for luggage. Despite Via advertising the hell out of their new baggage policy, people ignored it. So I told the Via guy that there was no more room for luggage. He said not to worry about it and to leave it on the floor and he'd take care of it. This is code for "I'm going to hide it somewhere and you're going to spend 30 minutes in Toronto searching the train for it". Sigh. Next problem, there was only 1 seat left on the train. It was in a 4-seater, with 3 young University guys. Oh hell no. I got back to the Via guy (who was looking increasing frazzled) and said "There are no more open seats on this car" and I put my hand on my hip for good measure. So he said "I can let you onto car 4, there are seats there". So I followed him into the oasis that was car 4.

Those of you who read this regularly know that I never get the new cars on the train. Call it a Christmas miracle, but Car 4 was one of the new refurbished cars. And it only had about 12 people in there. Ahhh. I ended up having 2 seats to myself until Coburg. It was great. I did got back to the other car and grabbed my suitcase and brought it onto my car, which had lots of luggage room still. I sat back and enjoyed the ride. I also gave the Via guy a tip when he came around selling food and drinks later.

Of course, when I changed trains in Toronto, I was back to crappy old cars but I didn't care anymore at this point. The ride was a smooth one and we got into Kitchener only about 4 minutes late. When I got off the train, I looked around and couldn't see my mom. So I waited a bit thinking she was having a smoke somewhere or was late getting to the train. I started to walk down the platform towards the parking lot and I finally see her pop out from the train station. I make my way over to her and give her a kiss and a big hug and then someone comes out the train station behind her - it was my dad! What an awesome surprise!

I haven't seen my family since August. I've gone longer without seeing them but any length of time seems long. So for weeks, all I keep thinking of is that one perfect moment when I get off the train and I get to see my mom and see her smile and I get to give her a kiss and wrap my arms around her. Whenever I was having a bad day or work was really stressing me out, that's what I'd think about. No matter how old I get or how independent I am, the second I get to rush up to my mom at the train station and hug her, everything feels right with the world again. The stress and anxiety of the trip just melt away. Tears of happiness spring to my eyes, my heart soars and my soul sings because I'm just so happy! And yesterday I got to do that twice!!
My mom was worried that the weather here would be bad so my dad took the day off to driver her to the train station, but she didn't tell me. I'm pretty sure that will be my favourite Christmas gift this year :)

After picking me up, we headed to Arby's for lunch and then stopped at a surplus store where mom bought me a meat thermometer and then we headed home. After a short rest, dad and I headed back out to do a little shopping. I got to check out the new Shopper's Drug Mart that was built in town and we ran into my grandparents along the way. I got to make my grandmother's day since she didn't know I was back in town yet. So that was nice.

We had a nice dinner, which mom made. I was just happy not to have to cook for myself for once! And then the 3 of us watched a "Duck Dynasty" mini marathon. OMG. That show is funny and those guys are insane. At 9 mom switched to Ghost Hunters and I almost didn't make it to the end of the show. I'd been running on just 4 hours of sleep. So I made my way to the even colder upstairs and got ready for bed. My parents' house is cold. I've mentioned this before. But the upstairs is down right chilly. It was crazy windy last night (still is this morning) yet the window in my bedroom is open a crack. Mom likes having fresh air. Being way too tired to fight with the window, I left it as is. But damn, it was chilly in there. I nearly froze to death getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The toilet seat is so cold that you don't really want to sit, you're more inclined to just hover. And by the time I got back into bed and tried to get the covers on my again, I couldn't feel my fingers. Oh yeah, no hot water in the bathroom. You have to run the sink for a good 2 minutes before you get hot water. Brrrr.

I was the first one up this morning though and here I am, blogging. Or hogging the computer as my mother muttered and wandered off.

So I should wrap this up and go get some breakfast. Not sure what we're doing today other than braving the mall and Walmart for a few final items. This should be fun :)

Good Morning!

Sarah

Getting Back to Nature

Nature. It's all around us but most people don't seem to take the time to notice it or enjoy it. Living in the city is great. There's lots of things to see and do but city life is usually very busy and we spend most of our time rushing from one place to another. From work to home. We all need to take a break to re-charge our batteries, so to speak. And I got to do that today.

My good friend Stephanee's parents have a cottage just outside of Wakefield, Quebec. After whining to Steph that I hadn't got to go with her to their cottage this year, she broke down and agreed to take me today. It was wonderful. As we headed down the highway, leaving the city behind, I could feel my spirits lifting. With each breath I took, I felt the stress leaving me. We look the scenic route, which takes us through a very beautiful area which skirts the Gatineau River. The views are incredible and I could hear my soul start to sing as I looked out the car windows and took in the beauty that surrounded us.

The town of Wakefield almost looks like something out of a movie. It's really a very beautiful little place. It has a general store, a bakery, a candy shop (which sells amazing jam) and a bunch of other quaint little shops, cafes, art galleries and restaurants. There's even a steam train that goes through town (currently our of service awaiting track repairs). Just being there makes you believe in a more simple way of life. We stopped at their little farmer's market and I bought some local honey.

Steph's cottage is built on the hill overlooking the lake. When you get out of the car, all you can smell is pine trees, earth and happiness. The way the sun filters through the trees and leaves little spots of light on the ground reminds me of a disco ball. There are all kinds of squirrels and birds everywhere and the view from their back deck is enough is stunning. It's the kind of place where you could just sit on the deck and look out at the lake for hours on end, without a care in the world.

When I was little, my parents would take my brother and I camping every summer. We usually went to Sharbot Lake Provincial Park, which is one of my most favourite places in the world. I guess that's where my love and appreciation for the outdoors and nature started. Spending time at lake, away from the hustle and bustle of life, is filled with so many happy and wonderful memories and the come flooding back as soon as I see groves of trees and the sun reflecting back off a lake.

I know that the idea of spending time in the dirty, messy, bug and critter infested outdoors is not everyone's cup of tea. And some people prefer swimming in a crystal blue pool rather than a chilly, pebble bottom, seaweed tickling lake,  but I think everyone really should give it a try. Now that I'm older, I will admit that I prefer to sleep inside a cottage rather than in a tent, but the principal behind it is still the same. The world around us is beautiful. Being a part of nature and enjoying the wilderness around us is in everyone's soul. Sometimes we don't realise that until they get the chance to get out there, explore it and enjoy it.

My day in nature was perfect. I got to feel the sun on my shoulders, the wind in my hair as we toured the lake in a very cool boat and felt the refreshment of the lake as I splashed around and swam around in the lake. My soul is smiling right now. My batteries have been re-charged and my stress has melted away. I think that's better than any spa visit or night out on the town.

Before I end the blog tonight, I'd also like to say a special "Hello" to Stephanee, Natalie and Heather. We all met 15 years ago this weekend (ok, give or take a few days) at Carleton University. I can't believe that it was that long ago!! You ladies have made such a huge impact on my life and your friendship means the world to me. I'm so glad that I met you and I'm blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. I love you!!

Good Night,

Sarah

My feet on the railing of the deck at Steph's cottage (taken last summer)

Pay It Forward

It was a good day at work and a sad one at the same time. It was good because things went well and I got a lot done and it's the Friday before a long weekend, so that made it awesome to start with. I was sad because it was also the last day of work for several of our staff. Some are returning to school, one is going on mat leave and one is moving onto a better job.

Having the students leave means that summer is almost over. The long hours of sunlight are slowly dwindling. The last of the summer flowers are blooming. It's times like this when it seems like time is just moving by far too quickly. And I have to admit it: I miss school. I loved going to University and getting to open my mind to new ways of looking at the world, new ways to interpret things and for the first time, really thinking for myself. I don't miss the mid-terms and final exams, but I miss school.

It was also kind of a sad day because the co-worker who's moving on to bigger and better things is gone. She was a blast to have in the office. I'd known her a little before getting the chance to work with her and over the last 5 weeks or so, I've really gotten to know her better and have learnt that she's a wonderful person and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with her. And I'm somewhat amazed by her killer Crossword skills too. I know it's not "goodbye" as I'll see her again, it's just not going to be the same on Tuesday morning without having her there. Next Thursday will be worse for the 'farewell' category, but more on that later next week.

Before leaving work this evening, I was chatting with some of our evening staff and there was a mini game of "six degrees" happened as a lot of people working here know other people in the department and so on. How people found out about the jobs came up and someone's comment about it being great to be able to help out others reminded me of something from long ago.

I had a teacher in high school who gave everyone in the class a special paper in our last class before graduation. Mine was a long quote about life and happiness and the end part stuck with me and I still remember it. It said "And above all remember this: Do what you can, for whom you can, with what you have and with what you will obtain". Not quite the same quote as Roosevelt but close.  That line really has stuck with me all my life and I've very much tried to do that. I guess it's the same concept as "Pay it Forward". It's a simple idea really. If someone does something nice for you, go out and do something nice for someone else.

I think the world would be a much better place if more people subscribed to that idea. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture either. Even the smallest things can really make someone's day. Something as simple as paying for the coffee of the person behind you in the drive through. Or holding the door open for a someone who's pushing a stroller. Or sending a post card to a friend.

I do that last one a lot. I have a couple of friends who are near and dear to my heart who lives several thousand kilometres away. One of my favourite things to do is to pick up a cute card or random post card and send it to them, just so that they know I'm thinking of them. It's truly amazing how much getting something simple like that in the mail can totally brighten your day. I know, because said friends do the same for me.

A simple, selfless, heartfelt random act of kindness can completely turn someone's day around.

If you're reading this, and I've ever done something nice for you, please go out there and do something nice for someone else. Share a smile. Buy a child a balloon, compliment someone on the colour of their dress, send an old friend a postcard just to say hi....just spread some happiness in the world. Not only will the other person feel amazing, but you will too.

Thank you for being so nice as to take the time to read this blog. I'll be sure to pay that forward.

Good Night!

Sarah

My One Month Anniversary

Wow. 30 days. 40 posts. 926 page views. I'm floored and amazed and humbled.

When I started this a month ago, I had no idea what to expect. I figured it would just be a really good outlet for me. It turned out to be an amazing outlet. I can't even begin to describe how happy I feel when I write and I can't believe that I've been doing it every night for a month. Even when I'm dead tired and don't have a thought in my head, I still feel the urge and need to blog.

What surprised me the most is how cathartic this is. I know I'm notorious for keeping thing bottled up inside and I know how bad that is for me, but I never realised that letting it out could feel so good. My head is a much happier place without so many thoughts trapped inside. I can see things a little more clearly now and that's a very good thing.

Some nights I get very emotional when blogging and I sit here and cry. You should have seen me the night I wrote the blog about my parents. I was bawling so badly that I had to stop because I couldn't see the screen anymore. But those were happy tears. I doesn't really surprise me. I'm quite an emotional person. I'm just very good at keeping them in check, except when I'm writing.

When I write, I feel free. The emotions just pour out of me through my fingertips. Some nights I feel completely emotionally drained after writing. Other nights I just sit and smile or keep giggling because I've made myself laugh or I'm laughing at myself :)

Blogging from my parent's house was interesting. I'm not used to having people around when I'm writing. They kept asking me question: What are you doing? What are you writing about? My responses: Writing my blog. Stuff. LOL. I have no idea if either of them have read my blog.

I like looking at the location stats for my blog. It boggles my mind to see that people in other countries have read it. Apparently someone in Russia reads it a lot as there are nearly 20 page views from there along with ones from France, Germany, Japan and the USA.  I'm still amazed beyond belief that anyone reads this.

Moving ahead, I will try to keep up with my goal of blogging every night. The fall is coming. Even though it was hot and humid here today, you could smell fall on the wind this afternoon. I love the fall. It's my favourite season. It also scares me a bit because fall is when my inner demons tend to wake up a little bit more and my struggle to keep them under wraps begins anew. Perhaps the blog will help me keep those little bastards at bay. I guess I'll just have to keep writing and find out.

To all of you who have read my blog, I just want to say thank you very much. I'm glad I could share a little sliver of my world with you. And to whoever the person in Russia is that keeps reading, I'd really love it if you'd drop me a line and say hello!

I'm going to celebrate my One Month Anniversary by playing a few rounds of SongPop (my new addiction on FB) and then curling up with my book before bed.

Good Night!

Sarah